tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11103331.post111713949486574096..comments2023-10-31T08:27:54.803-07:00Comments on Von Krankipantzen: Memory ThursdayKrankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06462291033293033179noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11103331.post-1117398147811337032005-05-29T13:22:00.000-07:002005-05-29T13:22:00.000-07:00Lbo-if there ever is an outing you are so invited....Lbo-if there ever is an outing you are so invited.<BR/><BR/>Fuel-all my blog buddies ROCK! I feel very blessed to have them. Youa re totally included in that. I appreciate that you comment.<BR/><BR/>Annon-Mou! Yep! He gave the gift that keeps on giving. I was a bit paranoid too after.Krankihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06462291033293033179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11103331.post-1117370382112175182005-05-29T05:39:00.000-07:002005-05-29T05:39:00.000-07:00Hey Mou,I totally remember that!!! I remember afte...Hey Mou,<BR/>I totally remember that!!! I remember after that happened I was always paranoid about having a shower in case I too was being spied on!<BR/>txAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11103331.post-1117248877814059972005-05-27T19:54:00.000-07:002005-05-27T19:54:00.000-07:00Would love to be there at the outing! Btw, hooray ...Would love to be there at the outing! <BR/><BR/>Btw, hooray for the walk too!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11103331.post-1117236205611242102005-05-27T16:23:00.000-07:002005-05-27T16:23:00.000-07:00LBo-I really don't want to go through a confrontat...LBo-I really don't want to go through a confrontation and I don't really know where this guy is anymore. What I did decide to do is if I ever encounter him again in the course of my life I am so outting him to whoever happens to be present. At the time of the incident I gave his a major tongue lashing and he slunk off in shame. That is enough for me. What disturbed me more than the actual peeping (the glass WAS very textured so I know he didn't see much) was the feeling I was left with that I was over reacting and the incident was no big deal. Since writing about this on my blog my feelings have been validated by you all as well as my parents. They said that they should have told his parents and they regret they handled it so poorly. That is enough for me.<BR/><BR/>Anon-I am so sorry that happened to you. That this stuff still goes on in the world disturbs me greatly. You have gone through a horror that all women fear. My heart aches for what you must have felt about your experience. Major hugs to you. I am so glad you stood up for yourself and demanded the counselling from your workplace you so totally deserved. They obviously dropped the ball after this guy had been harassing women in the workplace. That should mean immediate dismissal. And I hate that your dad said what he said. They just don't get it is not a sexual matter but a hate and rage issue for men. It also doesn't surprise me that men react to rape in this way a lot of the time. The blame. I am shaking my head as I type. Thanks so much for posting about this. I know that it was a risk.Krankihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06462291033293033179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11103331.post-1117234728800756262005-05-27T15:58:00.000-07:002005-05-27T15:58:00.000-07:00hey vK -I have to write anonymously, but you and m...hey vK -<BR/><BR/>I have to write anonymously, but you and most other commenters know me. (w--------a - i dont want it to go back to my blog, ok?) Anyway, Susie can probably validate the psych part better than I can, but apparently it is very common for parents (especially the father) to blame a girl for what is, essentially, an act of rape, no matter whether you were physically touched or not.<BR/><BR/>I was raped 15 years ago, at my workplace, and they wanted me to press charges, because he had been harassing women for years and they couldn't do anything about it. I wanted to press charges, and not only did my father BLAME ME by asking "what did you do to provoke it" my parents refused to let me press charges because they didn't want to "see their name in the papers".<BR/><BR/>I caved and didnt press charges.<BR/><BR/>4 years later I got a phone call from the State Police - he had raped again, and really hurt the girl this time. (In my case I fought back and kicked the ever-lovin sh&t out of him)<BR/><BR/>Society really needs to change the way they deal with this stuff. And btw, if you get to see a therapist as part of your treatment - bring up what happened if you are ready to deal with it. I made that workplace pay for a BUNCH of therapy afterwards, and it was worth it. But the therapist at that time told me that my dad's reaction was really common.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11103331.post-1117232652887145562005-05-27T15:24:00.000-07:002005-05-27T15:24:00.000-07:00Kranki why don't you kick his ass (Just figuratliv...Kranki why don't you kick his ass (Just figuratlively. Okay, literally if you ar up to it!)? Bet it would make you feel a whole lot better! Have you ever considered confronting him, even after all these years? Perhaps that would empower you and let you put it to rest. Just a thought.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11103331.post-1117223082136963252005-05-27T12:44:00.000-07:002005-05-27T12:44:00.000-07:00mrtl-yeah, I do understand that it happens. We tal...mrtl-yeah, I do understand that it happens. We talked about it again last night and they said they did intend on speaking with him but he was pretty scarce after that. I don't remember that but it makes sense. I know everybody does the best they can at the time. I don't feel that I am protecting him but am more afraid to bring it up and be re-hurt about it being swept under the rug again. Not to have my anger valitaded. To be possibly told to drop it again kept me quiet.<BR/><BR/>Jar-overall my parents did a great job. But nobody is perfect. And then there is the guilt...<BR/><BR/>Dang- thanks Dang. That means a lot to me. My bro is not very protective about me. We are not very close. It is a shame. I wish we were. I am older so I was more protective of him.<BR/><BR/>Misfit-Thanks-I am glad I had a nausea free day too. It felt great.<BR/><BR/>Lbo-it was helpful to write about it. We talked about it again too. It was good. It will be nice to put it away. For good. That is the perfect term - creepy little asshole. Exactly. He still is.<BR/><BR/>Ladybug-I hate that boys will be boys thing too. It so doens't make any sense. And ends up causing more trouble in the end. Frustrating!<BR/><BR/>Squirl-It has helped a great deal to write about it. Just the fact that it created dialogue again with my folks about it is great. I know now they indended to deal with it but felt uncomfortable too. I think back then people were not so pro-active about stuff like this. That Boys Will Be Boys thing again.<BR/><BR/>Requiscat-you can so totally kick his ass if you want to. He could sure use it. He is still a total goof.Krankihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06462291033293033179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11103331.post-1117220304089342182005-05-27T11:58:00.000-07:002005-05-27T11:58:00.000-07:00Your parents did blow this one. I'll bet they wer...Your parents did blow this one. I'll bet they were just really uncomfortable and didn't know what to do at the time. This doesn't excuse them.<BR/><BR/>Here's hoping that getting this out on your blog is good therapy for you. Maybe then someday, like l.bo says, it will be part of your past but not one that burns so hotly in your memory.Squirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09235466916480849429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11103331.post-1117217565633598192005-05-27T11:12:00.000-07:002005-05-27T11:12:00.000-07:00I second what Susie said. Every bit of it. And I...I second what Susie said. Every bit of it. And I'm sorry that guy was such an asshole.<BR/><BR/>Oh, and I HATE it when parents say, "Boys will be boys" to excuse a boy's behavior. Boys may be boys, but they will only be ASSHOLES as long as the parents keep EXCUSING IT!LadyBughttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00114909325406325155noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11103331.post-1117174302007010222005-05-26T23:11:00.000-07:002005-05-26T23:11:00.000-07:00Hooray for a nausea free day! What a creepy littl...Hooray for a nausea free day! <BR/><BR/>What a creepy little asshole! I wish he had been pounded into a little greasy spot in the alley behind your house. Then a bird pooped on the greasy spot, then a car ran over the bird poop. (Oh I am so going to the seventh level of Buddhist hell for that!) I also hope that at some point this will lose it's hold over you and become just a fact of your past, so it doesn't hurt you anymore.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11103331.post-1117163986105054702005-05-26T20:19:00.000-07:002005-05-26T20:19:00.000-07:00Just adding my two cents, agreeing with everyone. ...Just adding my two cents, agreeing with everyone. I'll bet that you feel better just talking about here, too.<BR/><BR/>I hope I always do right by my kiddos.<BR/><BR/>(and I'm soooo glad you had a nausea free day!)chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11785505580253953896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11103331.post-1117160574625949762005-05-26T19:22:00.000-07:002005-05-26T19:22:00.000-07:00Stacey, I have nothing to add other than that I'm ...Stacey, <BR/><BR/>I have nothing to add other than that I'm just so fucking sorry. I have no sister but if I did and one of my friends pulled a stunt like that and I found out about it? I swear my face would be on the 10 o'clock news that very night. I swear it. As for your parents I'm glad they at least look back with regret and say they're sorry. I'm truly pleased that they did that. You're allowed to still be angry about it anyways. 'Sorry' doesn't change the fact that it happened and it hurt so much.<BR/><BR/>Much love.<BR/><BR/>dcDang Cold..https://www.blogger.com/profile/11214901285931513152noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11103331.post-1117157009360954612005-05-26T18:23:00.000-07:002005-05-26T18:23:00.000-07:00mrtl,I agree with you about the egregious violatio...mrtl,<BR/><BR/>I agree with you about the egregious violation. I had a parent pick up a child late yesterday (through no fault of her own) and feel very guilty about it. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and say "If this is the most awful thing that you do to your child then you'll be ahead of most of us."jodihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10512572406681071671noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11103331.post-1117153934472369652005-05-26T17:32:00.000-07:002005-05-26T17:32:00.000-07:00jar-it is funny how things linger on. I would hav...jar-it is funny how things linger on. I would have been pissed off too, in your situation. It is good that your kids feel they can tell you when they think you are out of line. A hundred bucks is nice too.<BR/><BR/>Susie-you so rock. I think I will. Everytime his name is ever mentioned I will state the fact that he peeped to all who are present. Yeah, my parents regret how they handled it. But it does really change anything.Krankihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06462291033293033179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11103331.post-1117153444648635562005-05-26T17:24:00.000-07:002005-05-26T17:24:00.000-07:00That was a major violation, and the way it was han...That was a major violation, and the way it was handled was, in some ways, more of a violation. You had every right to expect that the people who love you would have your back and literally or verbally kick that guy's ass. You may not have expected much from him, but you had a right to expect much more from them. I don't mean to put them down, just to validate that you were not out of line in expecting more, and in being disappointed, even until today, that you didn't get more. I see nothing wrong in saying what you feel like saying when that mofo's name comes up. HE behaved secretively because he was ashamed, because he was behaving shamefully. You have nothing to be ashamed of, did nothing wrong, and are under NO obligation to keep HIS secret. You can tell your truth to anyone you want, any time.<BR/>That is all.Susiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03271957692024955768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11103331.post-1117141857280741152005-05-26T14:10:00.000-07:002005-05-26T14:10:00.000-07:00Stacey,Years ago (1977) my dad moved us when I was...Stacey,<BR/><BR/>Years ago (1977) my dad moved us when I was a junior in hs from the east coast to the west. The next year I was promised a trip back home so I wrote letters to friends and at the last minute my parents cancelled out due to a great aunt and uncles 50th anniversary. (Very few people attended and the aunt and uncle fought.) In 82 I was promised a trip home after graduation. It did not happen. We lived in the south then and took a trip to Kentucky instead - at the last minute. I'm sure a lovely spot but I was ticked. Last Thursday I drove over 10 hours to sit with my mother as my father tried to regain some semblence of normality (he had his bladder removed due to cancer a week ago this past Monday and just yesterday got out of the anesthetic haze). She all of a sudden asked me why I was so angry on that trip and when I told her she was surprised as that hadn't even registered with her. So now I wonder what things my kids remember (they are 15 and 17) and if they are holding back. I don't think so as they pretty much let me know if I've misstepped. We shall see I guess.<BR/>Oh, my mom slipped an envelope with $100 in it in my purse right before I left on Sunday. It was from my dad with a note on the outside of it.jodihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10512572406681071671noreply@blogger.com