It is a very sad day today in Blogville. Many of you already know through Susie’s or Sarah’s Wacky Loving Family’s site that SarahKaplan died yesterday. I am very sad. She reached out to me through my comment section with lots of positive encouragement and candy suggestions. When a lovely lady who just a couple weeks ago was boosting my moral in my fight with cancer looses her own battle, life seems that much more precious and fragile and strange. And unfair.
She was very positive about the future and it wasn’t enough. And sometimes it isn’t. There are so many things that have to fall into place to guarantee a win over this disease. And that isn’t fair either.
What comes to mind most is a recent email a parent of a friend sent to me who extolled the benefits of positive thinking in fighting cancer. She very mistakenly assumed that my homebody-ness was equal to negative thinking. She feels I should be doing Cancer Walk functions and attending loads of support groups. Obviously this works for her. I find such peace and happiness at home with a good book or with visits from my parents. What she suggests sounds foreign and stressful for me. My positive attitude manifests in a different way. Each person who faces cancer or any other life threatening illness just has to do their best. Some days are not a pretty as others. Some days you can barely get out of bed. There is no right way ‘do’ this thing
Sarah confronted her illness with light and humour and strength and love. Her relationships with her sisters and her partner were inspirational. I never met her and I only knew her through her blog and her comments but I won’t ever forget her, as she has become a part of my own fight. As have all of you who visit and comment on my site everyday.
Life in the Slow Lane
18 comments:
Your right, we all have to find strength and peace and happiness in our own way, I hope that we do help to keep your spirits lifted and that you know we all care very much.
This is a very sad day for many people, I hope for peace and strength for everyone.
all of the above and a bag of chips. (now I sound like Bucky) but everyone in their own way - isn't that why we are all individuals?
I have several family members who have had cancer (breast, colon, prostate, brain) and none of them died from it. (Thank god for that.) In your case, Stacey, I consider your cancer an absolute pain in the ass and a very scary experience, but not a serious threat to your life.
So while I didn't know Sarah, yesterday's news was still a bit of a shock to me. I guess I've come to see cancer as something that can be overcome (however naive or even insensitive that perspective may be), and so to see someone lose her fight to it shook me up a bit.
Fight strong and fight hard. You're a survivor, Stacey.
Kranki, I was so happy to meet Sarah, and I immediately wanted to introduce the two of you. The first post I read about her was her painted head, and of course I thought of your baldness concerns. Of course, my hope and my belief were that you would see her success, and it would be an inspiration to you. I still hope that. She didn't live long enough, but anyone reading her blog can see that she lived well. She lived. She did it very well, better than most, I would say. The truth is, none of us know how long we have. Some people who are perfectly healthy today will leave us long before those who are fighting a terrible illness. But every one of us can take something from Sarah's example. Live the time we have, well. The most and best we can. Only you are the authority on how to do that for you. God gave your time to you, to spend and invest as you see fit; that's no one else's call. I applaud and support your doing your life your way.
God bless you, Kranki.
Love and hugs...
Everyone else has said it so well. While some don't beat cancer, I just know that you will. Sarah did teach us all a great lesson with her humor. That's the worst thing in the world that anyone can lose.
I'm super sorry to learn of Sarah's passing. I went to her blog once via your blog. She was surrounded by people who loved her without limit.
Tibetan Buddism says that prayers and loving meditation help the newly liberated soul move to its next life with increased peace and joy. Let's all remember her today and help her along the way.
mrtl-I was wondering when somebody would notice the new masthead. I feel really lucky to have met you too. This blogging thing is really cool.
jessicarabbit-I am always so chuffed that you come visit my site. My spirtis are constantly lifted through my blog.
whfropera-you are so right. Everybody has to do their own thing.
kalki-the stories of your family are inspirational. They all kick ass! I too think this cancer of mine is just another blip in the radar.
susie-you are so right. You just never know what life has in store and the beauty of life is that you can do what you want with it. I am really glad I got to know Sarah an little and see how she lived her life.
ladybug-thanks so much. Love and hugs back!
squirl-a good sense of humour can get you through so much.
eastvillageidiot-what a lovely thought. I am doing my best to wish her on her way.
Can't say it better than anyone, 'specially Susie.
We're here for you, Stacey.
Thank you Misfit- I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
So sorry to read that Sarah died. You are right to continue to live your life, and fight your cancer, in the manner that suits you. Remember that you have a huge fan base here supporting you.
Vanessa-wow! Thanks so much. That means a lot to me.
Sarah and her family have given such a rare gift to this sector of blogworld. Very thought provoking and inspiring. Even on short acquaintance, Sarah will be sorely missed.
I am positive your internal guru tells you the most appropriate thing to do to look after yourself. And who knows better than you? Well okay, I think *I* might have known better about the FEVER thing, but other than that, you are the expert. I can also understand people wanting to share what worked for them, but damn, the enthusiasm gets a bit hard to handle, especially when they are not respecting different choices.
Apropo of nothing, I saw a cute T-shirt today which read, "I have amazing superhero powers. I just lack motivation." Yeah, me too. Big hugs, woof, purr.
Oh yeah, sorry for being tardy!
Oh, fueltank. What a lovely story about our girl, here. Yes we knew she's like that, but it is nice to hear these things. Here's to friendship.
What works for one person does not work for another. It's the same with cancer. No two people have the exact same cancer, so why would you expect everyone to deal with it the same way? What's important is that you deal with it in the way that works for you and no one, no matter how close to you, can tell you what that is except for YOU! Being an advocate is great for some if they have that fire within them to do that, but others do not want cancer to define who they are and what they are about. We are all wired differently and you have to take your joy and sieze the day in what you know works for you. Hang in there and climb that mountain in your own way. Because in the end, it doesn't matter how you get over it, just that you can look back and see it behind you...
Just stopped in to say hi to you. I also just had a piece of candy and thought of Sarah.
lbo-I love that phrase, 'my inner guru'. My inner guru wants sushi today.
Fuel-I am thankful you are my friend too. Even if you hate my cat. How quickly you forget that I had problems during jewellery school as well and you helped me through those too. That is what friends are for.
susie- I'll join in on that toast. Here's to friendship.
JP-how great of you to stop by! That is a good point and you are so right. No two people's cancer are the same so how could it be handled personally the same way? I hadn't thought of it like that and it makes a lot of sense to me.
Squirl-Hi there! I ate chocolate today too. And thought of Sarah.
spoonie-you are so wise! There are always going to be good days and bad days even after this cancer is long gone. Everybody has to fine their comfort zone. Mine is with the cat and a good book.
SWLF-Nikki and The Sisters! So good to see you in these parts. I hope you are all spending time together and doing things that are good for the body and for the soul. I often check on your blog to see how you are doing. I will continue to do so.
Then sushi your inner guru should have. Feed the guru...feed the guru...
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