A Cornucopia of Feline Delight

A Cute Photo To Reduce Your Ire

Ok, I am sorry I haven't posted. Very very VERY sorry. But after I spill my brain onto this blog about what has happened over the last month you may regret your recent inquiries into my, Yoshi's and Dexter's well being.

We all all good.

Now that I got that out of the way I'll get into a little more detail.

I've been heinously busy. Partly because I am a terrible procrastinator, partly because I am a good citizen and partly because I need to pay the bills. Against all promises I made to myself, my graphic designer, my family and my friends I once again left the creation of the 2009 Iconic Women By Yoshi Calendar to the last minute. What can I say? I work better under pressure. Just not this much pressure. So it is almost done and will be sent to the printer by next week. I'll be opening up Urbanbeast.ca for pre-sales next week as well so you can order the very first copies right away for immediate delivery.

With the addition of Dexter into the mix photographing Yoshi has been a little more difficult. It involves taking Dexter over to my parent's house so Yoshi won't have a grand mal hissy. While more time consuming it has worked out even better as Yoshi loves the one-on-one time and is posing better than ever.

She is so totally and completely hilarious and adorable and I could nom nom nom her to death.

Now about Dexter. He is the cutest, most loving, friendly, happy-go-lucky kitten ON THE PLANET. Without out a doubt everybody who meets him is charmed and smitten instantly. Saying that he is also horribly bad, intentionally annoying, a less than enthusiastic listener, completely lacking in boundaries and manners, clearly not very bright, a terrible farter, and alarmingly destructive.

Yoshi totally hates him.

Her initial curiosity and interest in Dexter was replaced with loathing when he grew bigger and started jumping on her when she was sleeping, looking the other way, eating, trying to poop and minding her own business in general.*

*See above mention of lack of manners and boundaries.

So my day is filled with hissing, growling, spitting, and heartfelt smack-downs. Entirely and totally on Yoshi's part because Dexter just thinks it is all fun and more fun. Did I mention he really is not very bright?

I can say with certainty that I understand why my parents used to get so frustrated when my brother and I bickered because I now experience daily (333333333 TBGE3333333333334 -Dexter intruding on this post) the equivalent of a little boy persistently picking on his older sister. Yoshi has a look that clearly conveys, "MOoooooOOOM! He's looking at me again!"

I am exhausted. I've also taken to yelling, "Simmer DOWN! You guys!"

The futility.

Despite Yoshi's hatred she is actually really happy in general. She is resigned to Dexter's presence and, I think, not as bored as she was. Kind of like the curmudgeonly old lady yelling at the neighbourhood children to get of her lawn. Bitter but fully occupied. I expect that once Dexter grows up and loses his kitteny assholiness they will just sleep the day away in each other's company like boring old cats do.

Random Dexter von Cheddar Stats:
3 1/2 months old
5lbs 11 oz
Meows a lot
Slightly cross-eyed
Eats anything
Drools when purring

Nicknames:

• The Ched
• Ched Head
• Sir Stink-a-lot
• D von C
• NoooooDEXTERNOOOOOO!
• Duuuuude-don't wreck my shit.
• Little One
• Grandmaster Dork

As for me I've suddenly become a little more employed. I've started working a few nights per week as the Theatre Liaison of the 110 person capacity theatre that is located in my apartment building. It works out great since if I feel a little panicky or overwhelmed I can excuse myself for 5 minutes chill-out time in my own apartment with my own kitties. I just make sure that whoever is renting the facilities are treating them with respect and are out of there on time. Sweet little gig, actually.

I'm also now part of my building's Resident Council (sorta like a co-op but different) and have taken a very pro-active approach to dealing with various issues with residents and the building itself. This is totally a volunteer situation and waaaay more work that I anticipated. But good work because being pro-active and solving problems makes me a happier camper overall. I'm also on a committee that is organising and participating in a 3 day Christmas Gala fundraiser for our building (to help subsidize rents) involving an art market and cabaret-style entertainment. I am ALSO treasurer for that which is something I've never done before and am a little nervous about. I continue to be an on-call emergency person in my building one week out of every month as well as work a couple hours per week for my dad.

Yikes, right? Busy but that scattered kind of busy.

So until the calendar is finished and all the surrounding press and products (cards and magnets) are completed I am not going to be posting as much as I'd like. Because my Theatre Liaison position is nights and weekends I am trying to borrow an old laptop so on my down time (when the productions are actually going on) I can maybe write a post or two but, in general, expect me to be scarce until the New Year.

Thanks for checking in and being so patient.

And now here are more Dexter photos and video than you can watch in one sitting.

My Own Personal Sistine Chapel

The Snoozen Housen Usurper Laughs Maniacally At His Sneakiness

'Tocks

Faceplant au Cheddar

Savouring The Deeeeelicious Full Footed Bouquet

Taken Just Now

Dating Myself

This is so awesome in so many ways I don't even know where to start.

Inbox Surprise

This nasty little pervert fucker just emailed me with a friend request from Facebook.

Fanfuckingtastic.

I just finished watching the entire first season of 'The Office' (US version) and can’t quite get that ucky feeling out of my gut. Don’t misunderstand. I laughed my ass off and really enjoyed the show but it is almost a little too lifelike in many ways. I guess that is the beauty of it. You watch and relate viscerally on some level based on your past or present experiences in the work-place. Those ugly and dark employee moments one tries to forget every Friday night at happy hour before you go home and have a real life on the weekend.

Here are just a few lovely work related past incidences I wish I could scour from my memory.

-When I was in high school I had a cushy summer job at a nearby town’s city hall. It was not unusual to find yourself sharing an elevator with the mayor. He was about a million years old and used to introduce himself to you no matter how many times he’d done so before. His typical greeting? A bone crushing in-every-sense-of-the-word handshake and a hearty, “You look like a fine group of young lads!” Friendly, yes, but we were all girls and we would be in skirts and blouses with purses and heels. I always wondered what he was like at city political functions.

-Once I made a mistake at work on a film. Not an earth-shattering mistake but a clear mistake on my part. I was spray-painting a pair of boots with fabric paint and I forgot to tape up the soles so some paint dripped under the shoes and got on the bottoms. I had the tape in my hand and got distracted and put it down and forgot to tape up the shoes. I also had a major migraine that day so I was kinda out of it anyway. But not a big deal as I very easily got some solvent and a cotton ball and removed the paint and everything was fine. Or would have been if I hadn’t been caught out by a co-worker. She wasn’t even part of my work area but she flipped out on my head anyway saying that I could get fired for that and if she was my boss I would be out of there and that it was unacceptable to give an article of clothing to an actor in that condition. I apologized to her and said that I had fixed it and it was all good. All day she would walk past me shaking her head, tsking and mumbling under her breath about how I had so royally fucked up. My boss knew about my error and was totally unconcerned so I ignored her. At the end of the day she started up on me again about how even though I was a newbie I couldn’t get away with doing something so stupid as this and wasting valuable time blah blah blah. The ironic part is that it probably took me less time to wipe off the excess paint with nail polish remover than it would have to carefully tape up the shoes and peel it all off afterwards. Nobody got hurt. Filming was not delayed or affected in any way. I didn’t wreck anything or cost the production money. I didn’t understand why she was going on and on and ON! So I turned to her and said, “Listen! I have apologized and apologized to you, which I didn’t have to because you are not my boss and I just don’t know what more I can say to you to convey that it was a MISTAKE! And I have learned from it and it won’t happen again. Let’s all just move on, shall we?” And she said to me, “Ok, ok! Maybe if you just dropped the subject and stopped making such a big deal out of it!”

Oh…my…god…

And the damned shoes never made it on screen anyway.

-Once a boss called me a “Dumb Shit” in front of customers and staff because a co-worker had snuck up behind me and noogied my ribs causing my arm to flail out and knock a box of little doo-dads all over the floor. Then she laughed along with the offending co-worker over his tickling maneuver.

-I had a boss who scheduled an inventory taking day on January 1^st. Yes, that would be New Year’s day. At 8am. And said that if any of us were even a minute late we would be fired. She then showed up 25 minutes late, no apology, while we all huddled outside in the cold waiting for her, very hung-over.

-I had a co-worker who, on a daily basis, would graphically describe to me and anybody within earshot what he imagined my breasts looked like.

-One boss berated me in front of my co-workers that the jeans I was wearing were too faded for work-wear. Never mind that my MALE co-workers, standing right next to me, were all wearing faded jeans too. They were exempt, I guess.

-I nearly got fired because my co-workers and I accidentally left the back loading door unlocked overnight. I was spared but not because I had only started working there a couple days earlier and not only didn’t have keys or the code to the alarm or any kind of locking-up responsibilities at all OR that I didn’t even know there was a loading door in the first place. No, I was kept on, as were my co-workers (who had keys and codes and knowledge about that stupid door), because it would have been too much of a hassle to hire and train new staff. I did get a royal chewing out though after which I had them show me the door they were talking about.

So tell me a personal 'The Office' moment that makes your eyes roll up into the back of your head.

Memories of Summers Past

Many MANY years ago when I lived in my parent’s basement I was working in my jewellery studio at some ungodly late hour when my dad came creeping downstairs holding my brother’s old childhood air rifle. He asked me if I had heard any strange noises outside in the back yard. I totally had not because I was not only using my jewellers’ drill thingy but I also had some sort of music cranked up pretty loud.

I turned down my music and grabbed my trusty pepper spray from my purse ready to kick some thief ass and have another great father/daughter bonding moment. I joined my dad at the back door with our ears to the crack trying to hear if anybody was trying to break into the cars or worse, into the house itself. We crouched down in a commando stance and whipped the basement door open hoping to surprise any criminal in the act.

Nobody there.

We had just straightened up grinning at each other over our excessive worry and reaction when in a blur of grey a wee kitten Yoshi streaked through our legs and out into the yard.

Yoshi was not allowed to be out at night as the neighbourhood had raccoons and even coyotes which would make kitten chow out of her in seconds.

We ran out chasing her and she hid under a bush just out of reach. I put my little spray bottle in my pants front pocket and crouched down to coax her out…

PFFFFST! I pepper sprayed my groin.

I had forgotten to flick the safety switch back on.

We got Yoshi inside and I spent the rest of the night lying on my bed with a cool wet facecloth over my crotchal area.

So if you cannot aim at an attacker’s eyes I can assure you spraying their private parts will work pretty good too.

Memories of Summers Past

Scene:

Kranki and Pablo are sitting in the car stuck in traffic. AC/DC comes on the radio and both proceed to rock out. There is head banging, devil's horn hand signals, lip-syncing, dashboard piano and air-drums.

Pablo: You know, I'll have to surrender my faggot membership card for this.

An Unsanitary Truth

The ever lovely Miss Kula posted on her blog her conflict over taking public transit to work with upcoming construction delays versus driving to work and paying hefty parking fees. I related very much to her post as I go through some serious car guilt at times. Yes, only at times. For instance after watching ‘An Inconvenient Truth' or when I have to fill up my gas tank with very pricy Canadian gas (as of today priced at $3.82 USD per gallon). However when I am driving in my sweet heated car with tunes blasting and passing all the buses stopping to pick up the masses I don’t feel that bad at all. Not one little bit. Especially when it is pouring rain out like it does the majority of the time in Vancouver. We have a little term used to describe public transit – Loser Cruiser.

I didn’t make that up. Don’t kill the messenger!

I didn’t actually own a car until I was 22 years old and took the bus to and from high school and college as well as to my crappy retail job and to the bars on the weekends. I didn’t have any friends with cars so I didn’t get to carpool with them either. I’ve certainly served my time on transit.

This sucked. My city has an appallingly bad public transportation infrastructure for its size. There is rapid transit (like a subway) that goes to and through various suburbs but that is very limited and rarely does it comprise your whole journey. Almost everybody needs to get a bus to the Skytrain station (yes, that is the suck-ass name of it) and a bus from the closest stop to their final destination. And because busses are lame you probably have a long walk in there as well. Getting pretty much anywhere is a long and convoluted ordeal. And you are almost guaranteed to be late.

Working in the film industry doesn’t lend itself to using mass transit with early call times, late finishing times, strange out of the way locations and the fact that it is part of the job to travel with a huge amount of stuff. On top of that it may be in your job description to run errands and the bus just won’t cut it. It is wasteful but that is the type of work it is. Can’t be helped. So I enjoyed the luxury of driving to and from work and was thankful not to have to wait for busses after a 16 hour work day.

I live right in the city core so I can walk to do most of my everyday errands and only drive when I have to go a significant distance which is not very often these days. But with all this extra attention on greenhouse gasses I’ve thought about whether I would give up my car if I could take public transport to a job.

Sadly, I probably would not. It is not that I don’t want to but it is that I have been so severely traumatized by many terrible incidents on public transit that I plead Post Traumatic Transit Stress Disorder.

Seriously.

Let me tell you a few stories:

-I’ve been on a bus where somebody puked copiously right in front of me.

-Have you ever sat next to a person who was whispering to himself that he shouldn’t hurt you? I have.

-Once I was on a bus and a guy pulled a knife on the bus driver. Fortunately a police car was driving right by and the bus driver honked and the guy ran off.

-I’ve been totally sexually harassed on the bus both verbally (several times) and physically (more than once) with a guy jamming his hand up under my skirt.

-I can also tell you how scary it is when a guy follows you off the bus and tails you to your destination because that has happened to me quite a few times.

-There is also a little phenomenon that a lot of us ladies are familiar with and that is when you sit in the aisle seat and pervy guys who are standing next to your seat use the oh-so convenient jolting of the bus to grind their pelvis into your shoulder. GROOOOOOSSSSS!

-I was taking the bus out of a very affluent suburb when a police car pulled the bus over. A detective wearing a rumpled trench coat walked on the bus and snapped a pair of handcuffs on this guy sitting across from me and then hauled him off.

-Not to mention the B.O. and other nasty smells. And the disgusting steamy germs on every surface. *vomit* I HATE being surrounded by sneezing and hacking people. I feel like I need a peroxide bath after every trip.

There is one particular public transit instance that I don’t like to talk about that really sealed my future as a unrepentant smog belching car driver and that is when I was peed on while riding the bus. Yes, a guy urinated on me.

When I used to take the bus to high school I had to go through a very dodgy neighbourhood. I got fairly immune to the grubby state of people I sat next to because if one got picky about such things one would never get on the bus in the first place. EVER!! So I didn’t really pay much attention to the fact that the guy sitting next to me was looking pretty rough. In fact he looked like somebody had kicked the shit out of him. As I said, not an unusual happening in this neighbourhood. You know, covered in bruises and small cuts stitched with that nasty black thread. I also noticed this guy was wearing a hospital bracelet but sat next to him anyway because I was so used to it by then. Well, I got very unused to it when the guy’s bladder let lose and he very quietly and peacefully peed his pants. And yes, there was overflow which soaked the side of my pant leg. I don’t think I had ever moved so fast in my life as I did jumping up from that seat. He looked up at me and quietly said, “Ooops.” He sat in his own piss for another couple stops and then casually walked off the bus leaving me to silently freak THE FUCK OUT!!!

I had to transfer onto another bus to get home and everybody was looking at my lovely wet spot as well as judgmentally sniffing the air. It was HORRIBLE.

At that moment I vowed that as soon as I could afford a car I would never ride the bus again and once I got my car I have, for the most part, stayed true to my vow.

So that is my dilemma. What would you do in my position?