I Posted! A Sign of the Apocalypse?

Oh mah gah! Where do I begin? I think with a fresh cup of tea. I’ll be right back.

Ok, now I am back but not before getting distracted by 3 different things. And, that, in a nutshell, is the story of the last 3 months.

So many things have happened that I guess I will eventually get them put on paper (cyber paper, that is) but they likely will take on a crazy criss cross pattern easy to spew out but difficult to read. Bear with me.

January-

Honestly, I don’t remember very much of January. It was pretty mellow after being snowed in for a lot of December. Christmas was nice and full of low key visits with my dear friend Tina who was here with her husband and parents from London, England for a family wedding. Then my other best friend, Pablo, came out for Christmas very last moment from Montreal. He and I hung out, ate fattening food, gossiped, and giggled a lot.

From Boxing Day to New Years Day I dog sat Xiola and Lulu. This was totally chaotic, fun and very difficult. Chaotic because that meant 4 fur kids in my very small apartment. Dexter got along fine with them and there was even some mutual grooming and kisses going on with the dogs. Yoshi, as expected freaked the fuck out, went on a puking binge and pretty much camped out the entire time on my bed which was festively covered in bright beach towels so I was not forced to strip my pukey bed every day and wash every damned thing.

Fun because I just love those damned dogs.

Difficult because it was so frickin’ cold and snowy it was physically very hard to walk them daily. Vancouver is not used to this kind of show so most sidewalks were unshovelled and extremely treacherous. I actually found it better to walk the dogs in the nearby business district late at night when it was practically deserted. Due to its high foot traffic during the day the skyscrapers had their walkways cleared very nicely. And when walking a large German Shepardy kind of dog one feels very safe in a mostly empty downtown core.

On the health front things have been somewhat challenging. Lots of tests and doctor appointments. So far everything is fine but once cancer has been part of your life every little thing gets poked and prodded and scanned and tested. I have an MRI on Wednesday and an appointment with an allergist next month. The MRI is for a lump that has come up near my cancer surgery site. I’ve been told by everybody that it is not cancer but nobody can agree on what it actually is, hence the scan. The allergist is due to persistent and somewhat alarming hives that I am getting almost on a daily basis. I think all this health crap needs its own post (and be kicked firmly in the crotch!) so I will get to that when more test results are in. So, yes, I am fine. Just a lumpy, itchy, blotchy fine.

I think I’ve posted that I been working at a new job. I LOVE MY JOB! I won’t get too into the details except to say I love my co-workers, I love the people I come into contact with on my shifts and I love that the way my job is set up it is PERFECT for a crazy person like me who has panic issues. Things are getting busier this year so now it is pretty much a 3 night a week gig. Nice little bit of extra funds coming in that allows me the luxuries like regular hair-cuts, shoes and the occasional take-out falafel.

So that is my January. I’ll get the February soon. Hopefully before April. So other topics will include:

-Dexter the kitten.

-My 40^th birthday.

-Life and Death-that weird and wonderful cycle.

-My business.

-Other horrendous boring minutia.

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-A Tip For Obama

Dear President Obama

I know you have a big job ahead of you involving all sorts of mess and chaos. I sorta know what you are facing as I have a cat and a new kitten who simply cannot get along. The kitten is impulsive, out of control, lacking in subtlety and restraint, and defiant. Not at all dissimilar to many people you will have to interact with in the near future. I contrast the first born cat is grumpy, unforgiving, completely lacking in humor and inflexible. Also eerily alike various individuals you will shortly be spending time with.

My cats do not get along under any circumstances...except when one very special ingredient is added to the interaction. This addition is so exceptional and potent that it makes even the most curmudgeonly cat soften. So transforming and influential it makes even the very insanest kitten focus.

I thought that this magical element might help you with your very challenging ambitions.

What I want to share with you is the power of....TUNA!

No hissing. No claws. No blood. Just a common love of the fish.

Well...until the little shit gets too close to her side of the plate.


In case you haven't got the news through the newsletter or my recent Twitter the 2009 Iconic Women By Yoshi Calendar is now available for sale. Same price as last year-$18.95

Check it out!

www.urbanbeast.ca

My Cat: She's a Little Famous

The excellent folks at www.moderncat.net featured The Yoshi on their site. Very cool! I love that blog and have bought more than a couple things from the people and products they feature.

Check it out!

The Odd Couple

Terribly sorry about the long delay in a kitteh update. As it normally does this time of year things have become very hectic. I am working on the upcoming 2009 Iconic Women By Yoshi Calendar as well as setting up a new business and doing lots of volunteering.

Dexter is still cute. Very cute. He is also still exceptionally smelly. The vet says he is fine and often kittens do not have the best digestive systems at young ages so I’ve been experimenting with different foods and might have found some that are less rank gas producing than others. I might publish a research paper: Feline Colon Inexperience and Greenhouse Gasses-Nature's Balance Between Cute and Killer

I’ve never met a cat who is so frickin’ hungry every second of the day. Dexter wails for food every couple hours and eats like a jackal. There is no nom nom nom but snarl snorf gasp choke hack lick lick sniff sniff root freak-out FEEEED MEEEEEEE AGAIN! He gained ¾ of a pound this week. When I eat he tries to climb all over me. One night he caught me unawares and literally jumped from the back of the couch right onto my full plate. Yoshi has always been a very delicate eater and nibbles on her food through the day. Dexter treats food like air and inhales it like he is suffocating. Dork.

Yoshi is doing much better. MUCH better. She is eating just fine and seems to be adjusting pretty well. I can’t say she likes Dexter but she isn’t about to throw herself off the balcony. I’ve never had a pair of cats so I’m not really sure what to expect. Dexter clearly LOVES Yoshi. Yoshi clearly HATES Dexter. But not always. Or maybe I should say not always with the same intensity of loathing as other times. I’m thinking I might develop a scale of Yoshi hate levels, similar to the Richter Scale, to apply to various interactions. I shall call it the Hisser Scale.

So there tends to be two types of interaction between Dex and Yoshi:

• Dexter acting cute and submissive and lurking around Yoshi which she tolerates and then only hisses and growls at him when he gets too close or tries to touch her.

• Dexter acting like a complete ass and jumping at, stalking, harassing, chasing, sneaking up on and blindsiding Yoshi which she hates. This is when she hisses, spits and swats at him.

Honestly both are totally hilarious and make me laugh. Occasionally I take pity on Yoshi and squirt Dex with my ever handy spray bottle. And even less commonly squirt Yoshi if she is beating him up too much.

The thing that I am not sure about and gives me hope that one day they will really love and appreciate the other is that Dexter still tries to suck up and doesn’t seem to take the beatings seriously and Yoshi, while putting on a show of hating his ass, quite often seems to make an effort to be near him. Especially when he is playing. She seems fascinated by him interacting with his toys. We’ve had a few evenings where Yoshi, while hissing and growling, has run around and played along side Dexter. Sorta play with him without actually playing WITH him.

Sometimes I start feeling bad that Poor Yoshi is so annoyed by the kitten all the time but then she’ll quite often plonk herself down on her back RIGHT NEXT TO HIM! As soon as he shows interest in her she’ll freak but not always move away from him. The only way I can explain it is that it seems like she likes to hate him. So they run around beating the crap (Yoshi) out of or jumping (Dexter) on each other. It sounds scary but instead of running away or leaping out of reach they both stay very close and settle down and then hang out near each other.

What does this mean? I know that things would be less hissy and spitty if only Dexter would chill the fuck out and learn to respect boundaries but being a kitten and all he loses his fool mind and takes unnecessary risks like attacking Yoshi’s tail or standing right outside her litter box staring at her when she is pooping. Thankfully Yoshi is a good multi-tasker and can freak out while making a deposit quite easily.

I have video I am working on but my new digital camera uses a file extension not compatible with my lame-o Windows Movie Maker program. Yet, I feel that a documentary format is best for this footage so you all will have to be patient with me.

So I consider, overall, that things are good. Yes, it could be better like cute snuggling and such but knowing Yoshi I think that will take some serious time. Also I think it will help when Dexter matures and isn’t so spastic around her. A vet friend of Twisted Uterus, Dr. Cheryl, suggested Feliway, a calming cat pheromone, which I got and hope will help. It takes time to kick in so my weekly “buddy” test is seeing if they will eat tuna next to each other. So far Yoshi won’t but I’ll try again next week.

Here is actual photographic proof that Yoshi is indeed alive and well and not kitten chow.

Stalking The Rock Star

Calm Tolerance

Sucking Up

About To Incite A Riot Through A Brief Touch

Yep! Adios Pain In The Ass!

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-You Can Lead A Cat To A Kitten But You Can't Make Her Like Him. Who Am I Kidding, You Can't Lead A Cat Anywhere.AC

Here is the kitteh update you’ve all been asking for.

How is Yoshi doing? Well…not great but not terribly awful either. She stopped eating all together a couple days ago and still occasionally (meaning pretty much every day) yaks bile which, I’ve discovered, leaves a lovely green stain on my carpet. Who said having cats was not like having kids? My berber disagrees.

So I started getting desperate and bought all sorts of yummy things Yoshi might successfully ingest with no luck. I vacillated wildly between guilt and exasperation. It was not pretty around here.

I tried to push the limits a little by keeping the cats separated all of the time except in the evenings when I allowed them to be in the same room with each other-supervised for fair play and safety. And the thing is that Yoshi, while not happy, was fairly calm and resigned to Dexter flinging his noodley kitten body all over the living room. She didn’t even blink when he chased a toy under her chair or ran close to her head. One night, when I was playing with Dexter and some toys she jumped down from her perch and crouched about two feet away to watch us, her eyes never leaving the kitten or the feather wand.

I thought I was seeing a very faint glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. Not so much because Dexter started really wanting to be with Yoshi and to approach her and play with her and if he so much as looked in her direction that is when the hissing, spitting, and growling frothed up in full vitriolic volume. Only on Yoshi’s part as Dexter is probably the most laid back kitten I’ve ever met. Nothing fazes him at all.

So as I watched Yoshi losing weight and some days getting worse instead of better I started thinking that maybe this whole kitten idea was just not meant to be and that Yoshi simply couldn’t handle a new addition. I resigned myself to returning the kitten after the long weekend and feeling very incredibly horrible about it.

Then I saw this.

And I got MAD! People introduce new cats and dogs into their house all the time with little or no problems. I saw all those cats living together in harmony and I decided I wasn’t going to let a 9lb cat with a bad attitude run my household.

But I wanted a medical assurance that pushing her further wasn’t going to jeopardize her health. So off to the vet we went today and this is what she said:

-I do not have to get rid of the kitten!

-Yoshi is an exceptionally high-strung cat.

-It is possible if a cat has not eaten for a very long time for their whole digestive system to shut-down permanently and they can die.

-Yoshi is not even close to this stage.

-Yoshi has lost almost a pound this week but she is not underweight by any stretch.

-When a cat is stressed and vomits a lot their digestive tract gets all irritated and they lose their appetite. This is probably what is going on with Yoshi.

-They took blood and urine to rule out any other issues that might be complicating things.

-Being a jerk is not an official feline medical condition.

-I have to give her an antacid pill every night.

-I have to give her a syringe of laxative twice a day.

-I have to pry her stubborn Siamese lips open and force feed her a foul smelling cat mush every couple hours. Literally poke it down her gullet. Although she makes terrible noises and spits most of it out doing this will get her tummy working again and her appetite shall return. However, she will hate my ass for some time to come.

-This unanticipated and expensive vet visit means I will not be getting a new pair of winter boots next week.

The main thing I came away from the vet with is that while Yoshi is very high strung she only is so when it suits her. She did something similar to this several years ago when I went on holiday. I returned and that night she started vomiting uncontrollably and then started barfing blood. A visit to the emergency vet and almost $2000 later it was decided that she was stressed about my absence. And we all know what happened when I brought Lulu home. Yet every time I’ve moved into a new apartment she’s adapted just fine to her new surroundings. No hiding under the bed or anything. She was fine when I was going through treatment and in the hospital a lot. She acts totally freaked when the dogs come to visit or friends and family are over but the minute they leave she is all perky and cute like she didn’t just hiss and try to bite them. So there is definitely a component of my energy that is affecting her as well so I’ve got to get rid of all the guilt and fear and concentrate on visualizing exactly what I want to see happen in my house.

MY house.

Fight the feline power!

First co-mingling of death ray kitties- lasers on standby. Yoshi rasps, "Dexter, I am not your mother" *gaspgasp*

Second meeting-Yoshi is more relaxed. Dexter is trying to eat the kitty crate/cat jail/feline transport unit.

Third meeting. Dexter bogarts the kitteh drinking fountain. Yoshi is not amused. Barfs on my bed later to prove that bad manners go both ways.

Kitteh Update

Day 3 of Kitteh Intro Hell:

Yoshi is really, really, REALLY pissed. She has taken to barfing twice a day on a 12 hour-you-could-time-your-watch-to-it schedule. She also will froth at the mouth to make a point of her displeasure. She won't eat. Not even tuna. Today she has taken to her bed with the vapors. In Yoshi world that means she is in her Snoozen Housen and won't come out. Last night after a little hissing but mostly curious sniffings I brought the kitten out and I think that is when Yoshi realized that he was not even remotely phased by her growlings and might actually be hanging around. Things got nasty when the kitten went to jump up on the sofa where Yoshi was. She literally screamed, punched the kitten in the head and then levitated off the couch to behind the plant knocking over the phone as she went. The kitten was unhurt and totally couldn't care less. I tried to stay calm and laughed it off. The sad part is that the kitten is absolutely fascinated with Yoshi and clearly wants to be friends.

Yeah... *swallows a handful of anti-anxiety meds*

So I am staying firm on this. I'm not sure how long Yoshi can go without food but she has some weight to spare around the rear end. The kitten is in my bedroom for now. I am really hoping Yoshi will finally get so hungry she will give up. I am trying to stay positive and visualize the results I want out of this. Yet, there is a little tiny part of me that wonders if Yoshi could starve herself to death out of spite.

I thank you all for the most excellent name suggestions. I took the ones I liked and tried them out and ended up going with one I had written down many weeks ago when I started this whole adoption process. So with a nod of recognition and imitation-is-the-sincerest-form-of-flattery acknowledgement to Torrie and her pooch I have decided to call the kitten Dexter. Dexter von Cheddar. It simply suited him the best.

Dexter purrs constantly. I am totally serious. He purrs when he plays, when he snuggles, when he is getting a huge vaccination in his neck, when you accidentally step on him... The vet couldn't hear his heart because he wouldn't stop purring. When I lay on the couch with him he will walk up my body and throw his furry self onto my face drooling with purrs and joy. Settling in under my chin for a snooze is his favourite thing. So cute. He is absolutely the sweetest, bravest, cutest kitten. He loves everybody and is not remotely shy or scared.

Thank God because Yoshi will try to break his spirit after she finishes with mine.

Making Biscuits on Yoshi's Bed.
She Won't Sleep On It Now.

Den of Despair

Summer Lovin' Happened So Fast

Well, let’s see what I’ve been up to lately. You know; typical summer stuff. My very good friend, Pablo came for a visit from Montreal and we went to the beach a couple times and even went Par 3 Golfing with my mom. I was caddy with the putters.

I put my panic disorder to the test and actually ate out in a restaurant twice. So YAY!

On the down side I mysteriously broke out in terrible hives for about three days. I had huge welts or hives on my knees, shins, one foot, upper arms, hands (including palms) and chest. A monstrous dose of antihistamines did the trick. No clue what I might have reacted to. My doc thinks it could be sun. I may have to rethink a Cuban vacation in the near future.

Also Pablo had to cut his Vancouver vacation very short due to work issues. Dammit!

So I’ve been planning the upcoming 2009 Iconic Women By Yoshi Calendar and hopefully will avoid the heinous time stresses I had last year. So far so good.

And, um, let’s see…what else is new with me?

Oh yeah…

I GOT A NEW KITTEN TODAY!!!!

9 Weeks Worth of Flame Point Terror Recently Neutered

Yoshi is separated from him for now and they have seen each other from behind bars. Yoshi is clearly not impressed with lots of hissing but when the kitten is out of sight she is VERY curious lurking outside the bedroom door. The attitude seems to be turned on and off as she sees fit. Everybody pray hard for us that Yoshi and The Kitteh can become friends. Or at least tolerate each other.

His name? No idea yet. I didn’t expect to get him so soon so I am kinda unprepared. He is absolutely the snuggliest and friendliest kitten I’ve ever met. Constant purring. Wants to be on you all the time. Very clingy. I REALLY want to keep him but the SPCA says I can bring him back if Yoshi freaks out. But that is not going to happen, right?

*pleasepleasepleaseYoshibeagoodgirlandlovehimtoo*

Any name ideas?

You Know, Just Thinkin' 'Bout Stuff.

I Has A Tired.

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-Doppelganger

When I recently dog-sat Lulu and Xiola for 5 days I bought them some new toys to play with at my house. Their particular favourite was this hedgehog that made an alarming "ack ack ack" noise when shaken. The dogs LOVED it. They loved it so much I found myself tripping on it quite often when it was left in the middle of my floor. Except when that would happen I'd do that awkward 'sacrifice your spine alignment' avoidance skip/jump/lurch because I always thought this toy was actually Yoshi and I was about to step on her. If I didn't actually have any reflexes and had the luxury of time to think about it I'd never make that mistake as Yoshi, for the first 3 days never left my bedroom. Never.

I started calling the hedgehog Yoshi since it was under my feet far more than she was that weekend.

Then on the last day Yoshi got brave and started emerging from the bedroom merely to walk right up to the dogs and hiss in their faces only to turn around and walk right back into the bedroom again. The best part was when she would walk up to the hedgehog toy and hiss at it too for good measure. You know, just in case it was trying to make friends or thinking of eating her kibble.

See? TWINS!

Show it how you really feel, Yoshi.

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-Being Flexible About The Friday Part

So I took some video of when I dog-sat lat week. I wanted to do a little movie for you all but with a recent update of my Quicktime plugins I now cannot do anything unless I 'BUY NOW" the whole software package. Not to mention the fact that no other programs on my computer recognize the Quicktime movie format (MOV) all of a sudden. DAMMIT!

So here is a plain old unedited video for you. You'll need sound to get the full effects of Yoshi's discontent.

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-Busted

What cat toys?
Oh, you mean all THOSE cat toys strewn about on the floor behind me?
Totally not mine.

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-Snuggle Time With Mrtl

I was very thrilled to have been able to meet with Mrtl and Mr. Mrtl this week. On their way to their new digs in the Deep Dark South they drove through my wee town and we met up for breakfast. This was a landmark moment for me as it was the first time I've eaten in a restaurant in over 3 years. I went out for lunch with my folks within a few days of my cancer diagnosis and had such a raging panic attack I had to flee the premises. I hadn't eaten out since. So I decided that meeting The Mrtls was the perfect time to test my new brain chemistry. SUCCESS!

I had a giant pancake.

After breakfast Mr. Mrtl left us gals to go do his Man Stuff so I took Mrtl back to my place to meet Yoshi. The key to a successful Yoshi interaction is to show no fear, ignore her at first and then just start to pet her like you are not expecting to become intimate with her claws and teeth. Obviously Mrtl is well versed in Insane Feline Psychology as she not only pet Yoshi but held her tense little body without bloodshed.Seemingly Sweet Encounter (actual life threatening situation)

After a thorough fur removal from our clothing we hopped in my car and drove to Granville Island where we walked through all the stores and drooled over the food.

Exactly why sneeze guards were invented.

We tootled to Walmart for some necessities and then had a coffee in the mall.

Back at my place after further Yoshi harassment we both chatted with Susie on the phone for a bit. That was pretty damned cool. And surreal. There I was sitting in my apartment with Mrtl talking with Susie Fairchild. I almost expected Bucky to come dancing out of my bedroom wearing assless chaps.

The sun was shining and the temps were balmy so Mrtl and I took a walk through Stanley Park and visited the local Cupcake Consumption Facility on Denman Street. We figured we'd done enough walking to have spare calorie units to spend. I had to sample a new flavour so I am officially overdrawn. *button pops off jeans*

Heron Poop Zone-Largest Urban Heron Nesting Site in North America

We finished our walk and Mr. Mrtl picked Mrtl up for the next leg of their journey. We took a farewell photo where I attempted to look cute and petite next to Mrtl who is cute and petite. No such luck.

I Has Too Menni Veggeecheezbrgrs

It was GREAT meeting you!

You can check out some more photos of our meeting at Mrtl's Place including Yoshi wearing some fabulous knitted hats compliments of the magic fingers of Mrtl.

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-Snoozapaloooza

It has been a bit of a rough week here in my body. I've been getting terrible migraine type headaches which then lead to horrible neck and shoulder spasms. If I'm not in pain I'm on painkillers or hung-over from painkillers. This is something I deal with often this time of year due to the seriously wacked out weather (you called it Squirl!) that occurs with Springtime. High pressure followed by low pressure etc. several times a day. Rain, sun, hail, lightening, sun, rain, sun, wind, cats, dogs, toads, blood filled rivers...

You get the picture.

I'm not sure which is worse; the headaches or not knowing what the frick to wear when I go out.

So this post's theme is sleeping. Something I've been doing a lot this week and something that Yoshi is exceptionally good at.

Somebody is going to need a muscle relaxant after this nap.

Sleeping in a Meerkat Manner.

Must...nibble....toes...with dipping sauce.

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-About That Time

Yoshi has the most uncanny sense of time. About 3 minutes before her usual dinner hour she wakes up, climbs all over me like a monkey, thrusts her face within inches of mine and gives me this...

THIS LOOK!

Feeeeeed Meeeeeeeeeeeee!
*urgent grunting noises*

An Update: In Case You Were Wondering

So Yoshi seems to have bounced back from her tummy bug and is almost back to eating normal amounts. Sadly, my paper towel supply is sorely depleted and my carpet will never be the same again. Thanks for all your get well wishes.

You may have noticed that I twittered that I was off to the cancer clinic for an appointment. I am still going every 3 months for check-ups and so far they seem very happy with my progress. I found out something interesting as far as how they calculate survivorship, though. I’ve been counting my cancer-free status since I got the all-clear pathology test after my mastectomy in Feb. 2006. It turns out they start your cancer free countdown from your very first cancer positive biopsy test. Makes no sense to me but that is how they roll in Cancerland. So according to them I’ve actually been cancer-free (or whatever they call it) for 3 years. I thought it was 2 years next week. Hmmmm…3 years works for me!

Anyway, I think I posted a TMI list a few weeks back stating that Christmas not only brought me yummy food and great gifts but also a very grinchy bowel. I’m still trying to inspire, um, generosity in that area so I’ve been scheduled for a CT scan in a few weeks to check out all those important bits in my tummy. Nobody expects nastiness there (my blood tests came back normal) but once you’ve had cancer these everyday aches and pains cause worry and stress and, very rarely, might mean something more serious. So I have that to look forward to. It means a very early morning, large amounts of water to consume and a lot of waiting around. Well worth the peace of mind.

And thanks for all your good luck wishes to me too. Yoshi and I are so lucky to have you.

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-Yoshi's Kitchen Nightmare

Every blue moon I cook up a huge pot of tomato sauce to spoon into small serving sized containers for my freezer. I hate cooking so this is the only way I can avoid scurvy. One nasty cooking hour resulting in several wondrous microwaving minutes at later dates.

Yoshi should count her blessings that this phenomenon doesn't happen more regularly because her aversion to the smell of onions being cut up is very dramatic and fraught with anguish and despair.

As I start chopping the onions (said in a Creole accent-Onyons!) I can see her out of the corner of my eye sniffing the air with a decidedly peevish cast to her ears.



Then the obsessive head tossing and lip smacking begins.


This part lasts for several minutes.

By this time most likely the onions are in the skillet and the worst is over. My streaming eyes have stopped leaking. But Yoshi? Oh no. She's not finished.

She then runs to my bedroom and starts her pitiful wailing.

Woe, woe, my EYES! They pain me! You are a horrible person to perpetuate such dastardly deeds against my frail person!

I go to her and pet her a little.

It is not enough.

She looks at me, ears at half mast and blinks. And blinks. And blinks some more.

What she wants is for me to wipe away her tears.

Yes, tears. She actually has tears.

I get a tissue and wipe away her tears. Cooing sweet nothings to her.

But too soon I have to return to my cauldron of poison.

And then the whole thing starts again until the sauce is finished cooking and packed away in the freezer.

Actual cat tears.

Actual snotty nose.

Crush Your Cat's Head Monday-Being Flexible

Friday, Monday, whatever...

Bath Time
Getting Warmed Up

Entering The Clean Zone

Employing the Gene Simmons Technique

Sampling a Juicy Drumstick

Nibbling on Deeelishus Toes

Exhausted and Ready For a Nap

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-Furry Purry

Yoshi's Christmas gift this year was this cozy bed that she can burrow into or sleep on top of. It is her very own personal Body Ugg.

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-Trollie Goodness

Hope everybody had a great Christmas and is ready to take on 2008 and kick ass! Yoshi and I sure am.

I've been blogging for almost 3 years and until the other day have never had any significant troll action. Lo! 2007 would not be complete without breaking that little charmed era and this lovely ANONYMOUS comment showed up in my Inbox relating to a past Crush Your Cat's Head Friday post:

you are all very sick fucks, i would love to crush your fucking heads and see how you like it

Well...crack my shit up!

First of all that video was 'banned' ages ago because me lovingly poking my cat was deemed inappropriate. Let's just talk a little bit about inappropriate behavior, shall we? In the last couple weeks Yoshi has farted on me numerous times, copiously vomited on my TV remote controls, wrecked shit, deposited some seriously stinky poos, hissed at my dad, bossed me around and turned her nose up at tasty offerings.

Don't see anybody protecting me from her, do you?

Anyway, I thought about how sick a fuck I was (I cannot speak for the rest of you) and decided to re-enact the offending video and was reassured that, yes, there is no doubt that Yoshi LOVES being poked. If only I had hooked her up to a throat mike for maximum purrocity there would have been no question about who is actually the sick fuck in the equation. Clearly not me. Yoshi loves the gentle abuse. I could also hypothetically add she loves being spanked and having her fat rolls manhandled.

Admitting that will probably get me arrested...

Dude. Chillax.

Crush Kranki's Empty Head Tuesday + A Plug For a Cool Thing

I am thinking I should rename ‘Crush Your Cat’s Head Friday’ into ‘Crush Your Cat’s Head Whenever You Remember and Haven’t Fallen Asleep On The Couch Tuesday.’

Ahem…

So a few weeks ago the fabulous Leigh-Ann who runs The Blog Pound as well as Wee Paws sent me a cool little item that would make an excellent gift for the holidays. Or for anytime, really. It is called ‘Messages From Your Animal Companions’ and it is a oracle deck of cards based on getting into the complex minds of the animals you love. Basically what you do is think of a question for or ask for information about any animal you know, like your cat or your sister’s dog or even your neighbour’s python. We are not talking about the human animal types like ex-husbands or crazy first dates. You think about what you want to learn about the animal from this deck of cards and shuffle them up. You then pick a couple cards and see what they say.

The cool thing is this oracle deck is made up of cards that cover many thoughts and concerns an animal might have. There are cards for being sad, being scared, being happy, being sick and other variations. It is very well thought out and covers many scenarios.

The first time I used the deck I asked how Yoshi was feeling about the calendar and dressing up for it. The card I got was that she was feeling either under or over worked. Since I have been the one glued to my computer and running all over town as she sleeps the day away I decided to take the card as meaning she would like to do more Yoshi photo-shoots. The next question I asked was why Yoshi didn’t like Lulu my Almost Dog and the card that came up was ‘Conflict.’ Need I say more?

I then took the cards over to a friend's house (the one who adopted Lulu) and pulled some cards about her cat, Winston, the Catnip Thief. The first card that came up was ‘Ears’ and the spooky part is that his ears have been very infected over the last few days. So out of 55 cards the exact health issue bothering the cat was chosen. Cool, huh? One of the cards picked for Lulu was something about her feeling safe and cared for which made me all veklempt. And Xiola, well, her card said she liked things just the way they were which pretty much sums up Xiola; she is a happy and content doggy.

I few days later I did a little session about Yoshi and the cards didn’t make any sense at all. Perhaps my ‘vibe’ was off or I didn’t ask the right question. Or Yoshi was playing with my mind.

So, while I wouldn’t advocate using these cards to diagnose health issues instead of visiting your vet they are quite fun in a light-hearted way. Overall the results were eerily bang-on.

Leigh-Ann sells these cards to raise funds for her animal rescue. You know how I feel about getting money to the poor beasties so if you need a gift for an animal owner and lover these would make an original and interesting choice.

So thanks, Leigh-Ann, for passing this cool deck of cards my way. Perhaps, over time, I can slowly unravel the enigma that is Yoshi and finally begin to understand what makes that little cat tick.

Yoshi Being Overworked and Underpaid

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-Last of the November Sunshine

When I wake up in the morning it is often the result of Yoshi walking all over my head and poking me in the face. Before I even open my eyes I can guess whether the sun is shining based on the amount of attention Yoshi lavishes on me. The sunnier it is the more persistently she pokes and prods. After I give in to the pressure and get out of bed I walk over to my living room window, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, and raise the blinds. If it is bright and sunny out Yoshi will run across the room and leap onto the sill emitting this excited growling noise deep from her throat. Pure joy.

When I get up from my computer after the kettle has boiled to make my morning tea I more often than not return to find my seat taken.