My Cat: She's a Little Famous

The excellent folks at www.moderncat.net featured The Yoshi on their site. Very cool! I love that blog and have bought more than a couple things from the people and products they feature.

Check it out!

Experience Yoshi's Magnetic Personality For Yourself

I've been working on them for ages and finally have some very cute Yoshi Magnets for sale on my UrbanBeast website. Come check them out. I have even put together two combos, Wiggy and Iconic, to save you money!

And as always a portion of profits will help animal rescue and advocacy groups. In fact I was thrilled to recently be able to send a nice cheque to the local SPCA for their fund to help animals in urgent medical situations.

Thanks.

The Scoop, The Poop, The Skinny

*big sigh*

You have no idea how many times I've said to myself that I HAVE to update my blog and then get totally distracted and, well, don't.

So sorry.

Here is what is happening with me lately.

I am EXTREMELY busy.

Specifically I have, with very little notice, committed to participating in a craft fair. In theory this is a great thing. In practice it means I've been up to 2-2:30 am every night madly sewing stuff to sell. I've got lavender owls (Nighty Night Owls), little zippered pouches, fabric magnets and fabric grocery bags.

I seriously lost my mind and bought a total shit load of incredibly beautiful designer fabric (like several hundred dollars worth [I am a total fabric whore at the best of times but I went overboard with this]) planning to make billions of these bags. Well, it takes about 2 hours for each bag so I am totally running out of time before I am running out of fabric. I know I can sell stuff at the Christmas craft fairs but I really want to do well this weekend so I don't feel bad for buying so much.

You know, that evil mix of guilt and high expectations and stress? I call it 'Oh My God What Have I Done!?!' - That would be me.

Did I mention that somehow I got roped into the committee that is arranging this craft fair (actually they are calling it a Art Market but it takes everything I've got not to call it a Fart Market to their faces) (you know-because it rhymes) (and because I am a 10 year old boy deep inside) so I've got that on my mind as well.

And Oh YES! I've started a little job while not time consuming is also very much on my mind. And then all the work I am doing for UrbanBeast.ca is taking up some serious time.

So the poor blog is really being ignored. So is Yoshi who punished me by pooping on my bathmat the other day. The first time she has ever done anything like that in her 10 years on this planet. The same 10 years that nearly ended when I saw the poop. But it did work as I very quickly stopped ignoring her. Very loudly too.

Anyway, so that is my life right now. Please forgive my lack of updates.

Also anybody want to buy a fabric grocery bag or 6?

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-Questions and Some Cute

Holy crap! Look! A Crush Post that is not 3 days late and totally lame. Ok, I guess I can't say for sure about the lameness part. Only time will tell with that.

And now for the crush...

My mom went to Target and all she bought me was this frickin' elephant hat!

Duuuude! They are so going to kick my ass on the playground.

I know that was pretty cute but don't go yet! I still need you! I don't think I've mentioned on my blog that I have new product on www.urbanbeast.ca available for sale. Blank notecards to be exact. I do send out a newsletter every time I add stuff but if you haven't signed-up on the website you are simply not in the know about these things. So go sign-up! I'll be adding more cool stuff shortly!

Speaking of more cool stuff. Here is a poll I need you guys to check out. Help me pick what Yoshi photos I should get made into magnets. Seriously, I need help. An objective opinion, if you will. So vote!

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-Furry Purry

Yoshi's Christmas gift this year was this cozy bed that she can burrow into or sleep on top of. It is her very own personal Body Ugg.

Fabulous Yoshi Stuff - AKA-Pimpin' My Cat

Hey everybody! Time is running out on the Yoshi Calendars. Canada Post's suggested deadline to get items to you by Christmas is December 10th. Do you need a fun office gift? Short on stocking stuffers? How about a hostess gift when you do your Holiday Party rounds?

AND! Introducing Yoshi Christmas Cards

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-Evoking Mange

Normally, my evenings are spent at home, in comfy clothes, working at my computer, harassing the cat or watching sleazy TV. Well, if you know me you'll be very surprised to hear that I spent my Friday evening at a friend's book launch party. Now this is not just any ordinary friend but the fabulous lady who is helping me with my anxiety disorder.

Over the years I've seen over half a dozen different therapist type folks and although they have tried to help I cannot help but remember the puzzlement in their eyes while I described my issues and symptoms. I found Anna through the internet on a site she mediates and even though the site was based in the UK she lives in my city. I emailed her and she agreed to take me on.

I can say with complete certainty that this awesome chick gets me. Really truly gets where I am coming from. I honestly believe that she gets me like NOBODY else on this planet does. If she were a guy I'd stalk her like my boyfriend, Henry Rollins. Instead I blurt out inane things and she laughs and nods her head because somehow, someway, it makes sense to her.

I cannot explain how much this means to me.

Actually I can. Tonight I crawled off the couch and shed my manky Pjs and not only showered AND shaved my legs but I actually put on a skirt. It has been a couple years since I've worn girl clothes. AND I wriggled into a pair of tights. Now that, my friends, is HUGE. I despise pantyhose type items with a passion. It has easily been over 5 years since I've worn tights. Maybe even longer. AND, this is epic, people, I put on make up AS WELL.

Not even when I saw my boyfriend, Henry Rollins, in concert last week did I put on tights and a skirt. But I did it for Anna because she is so cool.

I so rarely go out where there might be people which may require me to engage in social chit chat. I feel completely inept and paralyzed and sick and trapped. It's that anxiety thing I was talking to you about. But I knew Anna would understand if I lost my shit and started clucking like a chicken in the middle of her party so I sucked it up and got off the couch. The whole night I wore one of those deer in headlights sort of gazes and at one point a guy approached me and asked me if I was ok and told me that I looked lonely.

Lord.

Anyway, Anna has written a book and if you are at all interested in creating positive change in your life this may be what you need to read. She has helped me immensely and has been very supportive of my goals. She went with me to the hospital to calm me the hell down with my last surgery and visited me afterwards. She is never mad when I have to bail on an appointment when my agoraphobia is so bad I cannot leave my house or if I am too tired due to my insomnia. She has been a huge cheerleader of my Yoshi Calendar.

So I want to share the love with y'all and link you to Anna's 'Evoking Change' Blog as well as to where you can buy her book.

And how does this affect Yoshi? Well, when the mamma is happy, the kitty is happy. So Yoshi endorses Anna's book too.

The Yoshi Calendar is HERE!

This is the reason I've been so busy lately. I think you'll like it.

The website is up and running and the calendars are ready to be shipped. Please check it out and help support the SPCA.

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-The Way It Is

In my last post’s comments section a few of you hoped that it might be possible to permanently integrate Lulu into The Kranki Krash Pad since Yoshi was much better with this visit.

Believe me, I was watching for all the signs this might happen.

Sadly, I know that Yoshi and Lulu are better off where they are right now. Lulu is far more confident and outgoing with her sister dog, Xiola. On her own she is nervous and prone to separation anxiety and follows me everywhere. She whimpers at the door when I am in the bathroom, for poop’s sake. She also seems upset and a little afraid by Yoshi’s hissing and spitting. I am sure this is something I could work on over time but she is so obviously happier with another dog to give her comfort and companionship.

Yoshi, while much better, was clearly out of sorts during Lulu’s visit. I know I could very easily dog-sit Lulu for short term periods but anything more permanent would be difficult. It doesn’t help I live in a small apartment and there is little room for ‘personal pet space’.

Yoshi is normally a very playful, active, talkative, and cuddly cat. While Lulu was here she didn’t play, run around, purr, or do most of her normal behaviors. She basically just kept to herself in my bedroom. So while not traumatized she was certainly not herself. In fact I missed her terribly and was very happy to see her greet me at the door when I came home from dropping Lulu off. She seemed to know the dog was gone for good and not just out for walkies. Immediately, she started zooming around the house and playing with all her toys like she usually does. Best of all she purred and cuddled with me like crazy.

I have come to realize that Yoshi is very dog-like in her devotion to me. She demands a lot of attention and interaction. I am lucky to have her in my life and she is enough for me. I am happy to be a doting doggy aunty in my spare time but over all I am a one cat woman.

Hanging Out in the Playzen Tuben

***I wanted to give y'all a heads up. I am presently doing all the demonic crafty work necessary to put out a 2008 Yoshi Calendar featuring 13 all-new costumes within a common theme. It's a surprise until I officially unveil the web-site. Let me know in the comment section or via email (crankypantsATshawDOTca) if you like this idea. There are also plans for other coolio merchandise. So think about getting some Yoshi Lovin' for Christmas gifties or for your own Krash Pad. I am working with Lulu's mom (a graphic designer) on giving you a lot of bang for your buck. Also a portion of profits will go to a pet related charity! STAY TUNED!***

Who Needs Fiction When You Have This Kind of Life.

Things have been very busy around the Kranki Krash Pad. I’ve done things, seen things and traveled to far away places this week. Get all cozy under your covers and I’ll tell you a bedtime story or several.

I consider myself a very mild mannered person. I don’t yell, I don’t hit and I certainly don’t freak the fuck out. If I find myself in a bad situation I try to rise above it all and emerge unscathed and well established on the higher road. Until last week.

So I was in this suburban mall parking lot.

I know! Most of you are all, “Yeah! I know where this is going!” and you are probably right. I had backed out of my parking spot and was just cranking the wheel over to go forward and out of the lot when this woman in a van pulls up to my front bumper. Reeeeaaaaally close. I drive a full sized early 90’s 4-door Jetta so this isn’t some tiny car that zips around tight spaces. I need a little room to move. So there I am backed up so my rear bumper is right up to a parked car behind me and I need that room in front to turn my car so I can go forward and straighten out to drive out etc… But right up to my front bumper is this van. And she continues to let her van roll even closer to me so I am basically trapped. She immediately starts cussing me out and waving her hands around. I reply with an incredulous look combined with the showing palms gesture of exasperation. She then starts to REALLY spaz out and scream at me. Clearly I cannot got very far because at this point she is about 6 inches from my front bumper. I just don’t understand why she cannot see she has gotten us into this predicament and needs to back up herself to give me some turning room. And it was not like I backed out right in front of her as I was totally clear to back up and she was actually stopped farther down the row with her turn signal on to go into a different spot. I guess she changed her mind and would have had plenty of time to see me pull out before approaching.

So I get stubborn and just sit there for a few seconds with my arms crossed.

The woman is literally shaking her head around and yelling, “GO! GO! GO!”

Sadly I cannot because she is blocking meeeeeeeee.

Then I just snapped and for the very first time in my very vanilla life I retaliated. I looked her square in the eye and mouthed very clearly, “FUCK YOU BITCH!” And the funniest part was she looked at me like I was the potty mouth evil hag after she had been cussing me out the whole time already. I guess I must have looked livid.

When I told this story to a friend she couldn’t believe I had done it. This is very unlike me.

I then cranked the wheel over and inched back and forth within the foot of space I had to maneuver and finally was able to get around her. I laughed the whole time and I know she could see that too.

I have to admit it felt really good to do that. My inner ‘feist’ is coming out in surprising ways.

Then on Friday I dog-sat my two girls, Xiola and Lulu for the whole day. I took them to the dog beach where they can run around off leash and play with loads of other dogs and jump in the ocean if they want. We came back to my place and I gave them both a bath and then we went for another walk to the park where I planned to brush them thereby giving all the wee birdies and animals clumps of fur to add to their nests and totally keeping my apartment a fur free zone. I sat on the grass and not long after this woman just walked up to me with her two Chihuahuas and sat right down next to me.

Oh! OK!

So we started talking and it became evident that she might be a little mentally disabled which explained her lack of personal space boundaries with complete strangers. We had a nice chat and I brushed her dogs too (all 5 lbs of them) in the sunshine. It was obvious she very much loved her dogs and when I asked questions she almost entirely answered me as if the dogs were speaking themselves.

Me: So what are your dogs’ names?

Lady: (baby voice) My name is Romeo and even though I am very little I think I am very big and I get into fights with large dogs and bark a lot to show them I mean business.

Me: Oh…um…what is your other dog’s name?

Lady: (higher pitched baby voice) My name is Juliette and I am the boss. Romeo thinks he is the boss but I let him think that way but I am really the boss and I sit in my mommy’s lap and never ever ever ever let her get up.

Me: Hehe… um…Well, Romeo and Juliette, you are both very cute.

Lady: (singsong voice) We knooooooowwww!

It was while sitting with Romeo and Juliette’s mom that I saw something I have never seen before and I hope I never see again. This woman and her small son were walking along a nearby path and she was shouting at him about something. The kid, I think about 5 years old, wasn’t saying anything or whining that I could hear but this woman going on and on about how he was not listening and bugging her and such. When they got about 30 feet from me she stopped and her voice got louder and louder and she suddenly spit on her child. Yes. SPIT ON HER OWN SMALL CHILD. It was all I could do not to say something but I had a large dog with me and I wasn’t sure how Xiola would react if this lady freaked out on me and did something stupid. She seemed really nuts. Poor little kid is going to be Hannibal Lecter when he grows up.

Then yesterday my mom and I ventured into the deepest and darkest of suburbs to visit the Holy Grail of shopping destinations. Yes, we FINALLY have gotten an H & M clothing store. I have seen them in other cities for years and years and I just couldn’t figure out why Vancouver didn’t have one yet. We have all the big designer stores and other big names but no H & M. Well we have one now in a nearby town and a downtown Vancouver one will be opening up in Spring 2008.

Sadly I cannot rave too much about it as the store was so packed with back to school teenagers and moms with kids and strollers you literally couldn’t move. There was a huge line-up to try stuff on and everything was so picked over. I’ll go back once school starts and let you know how fabulous it is.

And an update- Yoshi is now talking to me again as I bought her a nice big playzen tuben that she LOVES! I am the cool food lady now (with a 5 foot cat tunnel in the middle of her living room) and all is well.

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-More of the Pride Princesses

I got some more pics of my Doggy Princesses from last weekend's Pride Parade. Behold their lacy pink cuteness.

Xiola showing off. Quite the diva.

Seriously, could she be any cuter?

Me and my special girl, Lulu.

I just want to squeeeeeeeeeze them.

Better Than Cross Dressing, I Guess.

I have just finished a cross-stitching marathon lasting a full 7 hours. I cannot quite believe this but the clock tells me it is true.

I was recently turned on to cross-stitch by Julie at www.subversivecrossstitch.com and haven’t stopped since. And then to add to the madness I bought a cross-stitch pattern program online where I can make my own patterns as well. Frankly, I cannot be stopped.

Family and friends may as well know now that they will be getting some sort of cross-stitch item for their birthday, Christmas, or any holiday that involves gift giving. Partly because we all know how much people love to receive home-made gifts that take hours and hours and HOURS to create but look so very unsubstantial and moderately hokey. *ahem* But also because I can only put so many of my own projects on my walls without looking a little nuts.

I truly wish I could fall in love with exercise or dieting as much as I do these little craft projects. Hell, I’d even take cooking or cleaning marathons instead of just sitting on the couch with a rainbow vomit pile of floss (that is the very technical term for thread in cross-stitch vocab) on my lap as my eyes bug out of my head in the dying light while I morph little X’s into cute sayings and tiny hearts. But no. I always get addicted to the very sedentary hobbies like reading, TV, cross-stitch, sewing and eating enough chocolate to slip into a diabetic coma.

I’ve been Twittering about the dog costumes I have been making for my special girls to wear on Gay Pride Parade Day. They were so cute and I got lots of compliments on my work. Not nearly as many, “Obviously you have far too much time on your hands!” comments as I expected. What can I say? It is true, I do have lots of extra time but since most of the people who said that to me spend most of their spare time sucking on a bong I didn’t feel like my quirky productivity was being truly maligned.

What I didn’t tell everybody was how much I got into making those dresses for the dogs. I spent approximately 8-10 hours on each of them. I drafted the patterns by hand and finished all the seams. There was beading and lace and grommets to put in for the ribbon. I love those dogs so much I almost felt like I was making Easter frocks for my kids. It was a little embarrassing.

But no more.

So I shout it to the world. I love crafting! It is my intention one day to have a Craft Headquarters where I will set up my sewing machine permanently. I will make outfits for your dogs, reconfigure your grandma's muumuu into fabulous car seat covers and design a special teapot cozy that exactly matches your kitchen colour scheme. I will make my own gifts and I will give them away without guilt even though I know you would rather an iPod or a sweater. It is in my blood and I cannot deny the throbbing call to the remnant bin at the fabric store. You may call me The Craft Mistress! And yes, I am cross-stitching that right now.

The Craft Mistress With Her Little Princesses

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-For HAR and Her Girls

I am busy this week making my doggy friends fancy new outfits for the Gay Pride weekend. In the spirit of keeping the insanity alive I've decided to post new photos of old costumes from Yoshi's past. You can see the original shots here. Many of you have seen this one before but some of you might not have and the new photos are better.

On that note everybody VOGUE! VOGUE!

I only eat Kabbala Brand Kitty Chow

*sniff sniff* Is that adoration I can smell?

Memories of Summers Past-Well, Last Monday Anyway.

Friend: I really love your purse.

Me: Thanks! I just got it. It is a vegan purse.

Friend's Boyfriend: What? It is made out of vegans?