Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Friday, August 24, 2007

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-On Strike

Yoshi here again. I refuse to come out from under the bed (except to post this important notice) because my stooopid Food Hag brought over two ugly and dumb dogs for the whole frickin' day! My dinner was 3 hours late and my mom is covered in dog fur. She also smells.

So I am boycotting a photograph today and will only consider posing over the weekend if the following demands are met:

-1 (one) can of tuna served in 2 (two) installments for my dinner.
-uninterrupted use of the lap.
-my litter box scooped every hour on the hour.
-scratching of my chin combined with light bum spankings on demand.
-unrestricted access to all hair clips and elastics.
-undying devotion of all mortals.

Only if all my demands are met will I attend a photo shoot. If any of these conditions are not met in a timely manner I will penalize My Slave by pooping in her shoe.

Your co-operation is greatly appreciated.

However, I still hate you.

12 comments:

Babs said...

I got some 'tips too, please come out and pose pretty for us!

alan said...

Yoshi, I hope you and Miss K have a great weekend whether you are on strike or not...as for your distant cousin Frankie, if he doesn't quit wandering around the house yowling while everyone else is asleep, he's going to meet that big squirt bottle in the kitchen!

It wasn't that I minded him being in my lap, but when he decided to climb up to scratch his head on my beard it's not my fault I didn't have a shirt on and kind of tossed him...!

alan

here today, gone tomorrow said...

Wow. The Wrath of Yoshi. It ain't a pretty thing.

kalki said...

Dogs are on this earth to remind us how perfect cats are. Food Hag will come around.

candace said...

I'm sitting here watching one of my cats carry a feather around in his mouth (found by one of the kids the other day). I have no idea what he's doing with it, but I suspect he's just hoarding it from the others.

Hey, I just found out Henry Rollins (your boyfriend) is doing another spoken word tour. Is he performing anywhere near you? He's coming here again; I think we might go.

Biscuit said...

Don't be a hater, Yoshi. Can't we all just get along?

Squirl said...

Yoshi, don't you know that humans are just untrainable?

HAR said...

Yoshi,
I think you are letting her off easy. TWO dogs? That's worth a lot more tuna.
Snuggles McBoo

lawyerchik said...

HTGT said it best..... Yikes.

Oh well.

Yoshi!! Yooooossshhhhiiiiiii!! Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.......

[Much as I love the beauty of cats, this is why I have a dog.]

Good luck, Kranki. Looks like you'll be sleeping with one eye open for a while.......

gypsygrrl said...

yoshi... dont forget unlimited access to Q-tips!

SassyFemme said...

LMAO! Gotta love the Yoshi girl!

JP said...

That cat is sooo needy... It's a good thing she's so crushable!!