Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Friday, March 28, 2008

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-A Piss in the Hand is Worth Two in the Litter Box

So Yoshi turned 10 years old on Monday and we celebrated with a can of crab (which she turned her nose up at) and a call from the on-call vet with a diagnosis of severe urine crystals. He seemed quite concerned and hoped Yoshi was feeling better. I had to explain that Yoshi is feeling just fine and has no symptoms at all of this condition. I just had the testing done as a routine thing at her last check-up. He was confused and told me to make the cat drink more water to flush those little suckers out.


So she has a lovely brand new water fountain which she sniffs at and perhaps touches her tongue to but otherwise pretty much ignores. So it just sits there making gurgling noises which inspires a somewhat uncomfortable feeling in my bladder leading to the occasional pee pee dance.

I've now changed her diet from mostly dry kibble with a small serving of canned food to a very smelly large bowl of watered down canned food and a few nuggets of dry featuring actual flavour and texture. And did I mention water? Lots of water.

It is all about the water. And keeping me paranoid.

Did you know that you can't even lead a cat to water let alone make the little turd drink?

I now lurk around her litter box making sure she isn't in any pain or discomfort when she takes a wazz. She seems fine except for the very telling embarrassed posture of her tail. Madam desires privacy and what I am doing feels worse than reading a child's diary. Way worse and much weirder.

If I don't chill out I may be pissing diamonds myself before long.

Your concern bores me.

You have got to chillax.

Sparkly Pee Pee - I Has It.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-About That Time

Yoshi has the most uncanny sense of time. About 3 minutes before her usual dinner hour she wakes up, climbs all over me like a monkey, thrusts her face within inches of mine and gives me this...


Feeeeeed Meeeeeeeeeeeee!
*urgent grunting noises*

Friday, March 14, 2008

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-Questions and Some Cute

Holy crap! Look! A Crush Post that is not 3 days late and totally lame. Ok, I guess I can't say for sure about the lameness part. Only time will tell with that.

And now for the crush...

My mom went to Target and all she bought me was this frickin' elephant hat!

Duuuude! They are so going to kick my ass on the playground.

I know that was pretty cute but don't go yet! I still need you! I don't think I've mentioned on my blog that I have new product on available for sale. Blank notecards to be exact. I do send out a newsletter every time I add stuff but if you haven't signed-up on the website you are simply not in the know about these things. So go sign-up! I'll be adding more cool stuff shortly!

Speaking of more cool stuff. Here is a poll I need you guys to check out. Help me pick what Yoshi photos I should get made into magnets. Seriously, I need help. An objective opinion, if you will. So vote!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Dating Myself

This is so awesome in so many ways I don't even know where to start.

The Curse Continues

It has been a less than fun week for me. I got sick. Quite sick. In fact 2008 will forever be remembered as The Year I Puked On My Birthday And I Wasn’t Even Drunk. And if you don’t know me then you cannot fully understand how traumatic this was on a couple levels.

First of all I suffer from this pretty severely. And as such I will not get into my particular lurgie with any great details. Secondly it was my 39th birthday. The LAST YEAR I will be in my 30s. A dinner party was planned and had to be cancelled. In fact my whole birthday weekend was a complete blur of ick and grossness.

I woke up Saturday (March 1-my birfday) quite early with terrible cramps. Whole torso cramps opposed to your typical gurgley tummy type situation. Only now that I am feeling better do I understand how sick I really was as I simply laid in bed, labour breathing through each spasm, idly thinking, “Hmmmmm…I wonder why my stomach feels so bad.” Opposed to say, calling 911 or getting my ass to my doctor.

I eventually called my folks to let them know that I was likely not going to make it to dinner citing ‘gas pains or something.’

I then took some Tylenol 3s and dozed for awhile.

Other than the cramps I felt fine.

Then I got out of bed and walked around a little.

Big mistake.

Gravity was the final incentive my gut needed and I experienced the worst Thunder From Down Under in my life. Thinking it was a good idea to drink a little to keep hydrated it was then I was joined by a disgusting rally from the northern regions.

The next few days were unpleasant to say the least.

As such I was unable to attend the Apartment Blessing and remain cursed. I wonder if my stomach flu was a clever ‘spirit ploy’ to keep me from the ceremony thereby reducing the youthful (borderline) energy I would have contributed to banishing the bad vibes or simply a pesky Norwalk virus compliments of the old people in my building. Either way, well played intestinal horrors, well played.