Um…let’s just say I have been dreading writing this post. It has not been the best week and nothing happened the way I had hoped and, frankly, the way it was supposed to, DAMMIT.
Nothing at all.
Lulu did not work out. Or maybe I should rephrase that. Lulu worked out great. Yoshi stopped working all together.
Yoshi had, what I believe to be, a total feline nervous breakdown.
Now I know what many of you are thinking. Kranki, you total DUMBASS!!! Didn’t you think ahead about this? Didn’t you think this might happen?
I have to be honest with you. I thought about this a great deal and I thought up a whole bunch worse case scenarios but never dreamed what actually happened would happen. It never occurred to me. Obviously, if it had entered my mind I never would have brought a dog into my home. I'd seen Yoshi around dogs but obviously none had ever stayed for a sleepover.
This is what I imagined might happen with Yoshi:
-hissing
-growling
-yowling
-spitting
-swiping with paws-nails extended-possible bloodshed
-retaliatory peeing or pooping in favourite shoes/on bed/on dining room table
-moody self absorption and angst
-shunning of mommy love
-acting out and general bad behavior
What actually occurred with Yoshi:
-hissing
-growling
-yowling
-spitting
-swiping with paws-uncertain of nail position
-shunning of momma love
-COMPLETE CESSATION OF EATING FOR 4 DAYS!!
-COMPLETE CESSATION OF WATER CONSUMPTION FOR 4 DAYS!!
-PERSISTENT VOMITING LEADING TO TOTAL DEHYDRATION!!
-RIPPING OUT OF OWN FUR!!
-BITING WHEN TOUCHED!!!
-NO LONGER CLEANING HERSELF!!
By the time Thursday came along Yoshi was noticeably thinner, completely dehydrated, too weak to jump out of the dog’s reach, listless and looking really rough. I thought I’d have to take her to the vet which would have freaked her even more. It was really terrible.
I talked with a friend of mine who, while not a vet, bred and showed Persian cats for years as well as ran a boarding cattery. She said that all the above behaviors were not dangerous except for the vomiting part. Dehydration is very dangerous. Yoshi was barfing several times a day and I just didn’t know where it was all coming from because her food was completely untouched. She suggested I take Yoshi to the vet and get her put on tranqs. Another friend mentioned Prozac. The lady at the shelter where I got Lulu said I should just keep the cat in my bedroom from now on.
None of these were an option because until I brought a dog into the house Yoshi was perfectly fine. A little insane, yes, but overall quite fine. This was not her fault in any way and I wasn’t going to make her pay for my mistake. And it wasn’t Lulu’s either as she had been a perfect citizen in my home all along.
This was all my fault. And I felt like shit and continue to do so.
So that Thursday I took Lulu to my friend’s house who not only has a dog of her own but also dog-sits another small dog everyday. Yoshi started drinking later that day and started cleaning herself which I thought was a good sign. She continues to be super jumpy with any sudden movements or sudden noises. She no longer meets me at the door when I come home because she is afraid there might be a dog attached to me. She is eating roughly twice her usual amount and is putting weight back on again. She is doing fine.
Lulu is having a blast at my friend’s house. She is way more outgoing, happy and is very much in love with my friend’s dog. The shelter where I got Lulu is working to re-home her up here in Vancouver and I am helping with that. They are not angry with me as when I adopted Lulu I voiced my concerns about how Yoshi would cope and they were happy to give me a trial period to see what would happen. They just want the best home for Lulu too and obviously my home is not the right one.
But I REALLY wish it was because I just LOVE that dog.
So while I often sit and think about ways I could make it work I know deep down it isn’t going to. Maybe if I had a much bigger place where I could give one level to the cat and one to the dog it might be ok. But I don’t. I have a small apartment and we all have to live together.
So I fucked up. I made a huge mistake. I know, I know…I suck.
The Cutest and Sweetest Dog EVER!!!
The Jerk and Her Death Stare of Doggy Hatred
20 comments:
Oh, Kranki, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how heartbreaking it must be to love them both and have them not get along.
Any chance Lulu can stay with your friend permanently? Sounds like she's happy there, and you'd still get to see her.
I don't comment here often, but I have to tonight to tell you to stop beating yourself up. You did absolutely nothing wrong! You were just trying to help a pup in need, it just didn't work out. Even though you suspected that Yoshi would have issues, she just as easily could have accepted Lulu, and things would have been fine. The only way to know was to give it a try. I'm sorry it didn't work out, and I hope Yoshi forgives you and gets back to normal soon.
Sweet sweet Kranki; you do NOT suck! As Frankie sits here in my lap rubbing his head on my chin and trying to convince me he's more important than whatever I'm doing, I can tell you that I had all those fears in reverse when we agreed to adopt him. Angel was going on 10, an only pet, and though she had accepted my younger son's dog coming to visit and to stay for a few weeks at a time, that's not the same as bringing home a cat! For us, we were lucky, and it all worked out. Had it not I'd have been feeling exactly the same way you are and you'd have been trying to convince me it wasn't all my fault.
Very seldom I get really lucky in things; I'm sorry you didn't this time!
None of that makes it your fault!
alan
Oh, Kranki, you didn't screw up. You tried to do something that would enrich both your life and Yoshi's life, and it didn't work out - that's all. And because of you, Lulu has a lovely place to stay for now, and with you and the shelter working together, she will find a nice home to maybe stay for good.
You do not suck (OK, you do not suck for this.... ;)) It's going to be OK - and at least you have a friend who has a dog that you can visit when you crave doggie companionship.
It's like your friends having kids - you get the perks of spending time with them when you want to, but you can give them treats and send them home (or leave) when you're tired!!
Everyone else said it but I'm going to say it, too: you don't suck. We've done this before as well. We tried to bring in a dog a few years ago but our older girl kitty, Katie, just about tried to commit suicide, I swear. The shelter re-placed the dog and we vowed to wait until Katie was no longer with us before we tried a dog in the family again.
You did everything right. Yoshi will recover. Katie took a while but she went back to her normal, psychotic self eventually. It might help to shampoo the rugs and furniture to help get rid of Lulu's smell.
Hang in there.
You don't suck--sometimes things don't work out the way we want them to work out. We had to rehome Six because she couldn't quit kicking the shit out of Kissa--but we didn't rehome her until Kissa had a permanent notch out of her ear and had had a seriously infected wound on her head.
I hear you.
i tried to bring Linus a girlfriend once and all she did was jump on his head (not THAT one Nils) and keep Linus stressed out. Been there, done that, still not a sucky person. And you're not a sucky person either, GOT IT?
:)
~wod~
My cat had these exact SAME problems when we got cat #2. EXACT SAME. the stopped eating, the barfing, the pulling out fur....
She is not a Persian, she is just a regular old stray... but she's fussy and elitist (like all cats). We ended up having to hospitalize her for 4 days, giving her IVs for fluid and having the vets observe that "nothing" was wrong with her. They finally decided maybe she had given herself a stress ulcer. She got prednisone, which stimulated her to eat and drink. Over the course of about a month we tapered her from one prednisone, to a half of one a day, then to a half of one every other day... and finally to none. And she and the new kitty have been fine ever since (it's been about 1.25 years since we got him).
Gah! I left a comment a little bit ago, and it's not here! I'm just so sad for you, Kranki. You did everything right, and so did Lulu and so did Yoshi, it's just that the situation did not go as planned. There was no way to know that ahead of time. Lulu will pocket the love and the time you gave to her and it will go with her to her new home. You have enriched her just as she enriched you, however briefly you were together. My heart aches for you while you adjust, though.
Dammit, I loved that dog too!
I expected from Yoshi what you expected from Yoshi. Clearly she is even more neurotic than anyone ever imagined possible. There was no way for you to know - you are NOT an Asshole Furmom (although that label cracked me up).
I'm sure you'll find a great home for Lulu, and I'm sure Yoshi will forgive you within the next decade or so. ;)
I'm so sorry for you. I know you love Lulu. But it says a lot for your character that you gave her up for Yoshi's sake. That's so very unselfish.
There's no way you could've known Yoshi would have that reaction. When she did, you respected her and gave her home back to her.
No sucking here. Lulu is a happy girl and will be in another good home. I just feel so bad for you right now.
Hang in there.
oh, honey, i'm so sorry. you did nothing wrong. you tried to do a good thing, a wonderful thing that could have worked out great. how could you know unless you tried? it's a chapter in lulu's life, for whatever reason. you brought her a step closer to where she's supposed to be. yoshi will be well again. you are a generous, loving person who did a generous, loving thing. if you keep beating yourself up . . . i will come up there and take that job off your hands. just stop. give yourself a huge, squishing hug from me.
I'm sorry it didn't work out. Please don't beat yourself up.
Lulu and Yoshi are both cuties and it's too bad it didn't work out. Don't beat yourself up, though - sometimes you can never tell until you try.
I wasn't an animal person until 7 years ago. And if I learned anything having the many dogs come and go through our house, let me tell ya it is not your fault. Animals operate on instinct and dominance. Sometimes you have to accept there's just nothing you can do about it. It's sucky but it is true. Lulu will find a great home, and you'll have your cat crushing head Yoshi back before long, I just know it!!
So sorry to hear that Yoshi & Lulu didn't get along. There is a guy, inthedriverseat.blogspot.com in white rock that I read. Wander over there and see if maybe Lulu might get a home w/him. Maybe worth a look.
I'm going with the rest here -- you don't suck. Not even a little. Not with a straw.
Pet siblings are always tricky situations. I started with 1 dog and 1 cat, got married, gained two cats, gained and lost a kitten, gained another cat, gained another dog, gained ANOTHER cat, lost a cat, gained ANOTHER another cat, gained yet ANOTHER cat and a bird, lost a dog, got another bird, lost a bird, and lost another dog. Not every interaction goes well, but I am very lucky to have a large house and a group of cats who've never really lived without other animals in the house.
Regardless of that, one of my cats has a permanent hate-on of a younger cat who would just love to love her, but reacts badly to her rejection. Happily neither have gone to the extremes of stress Yoshi did, but then again, there's that large house issue.
And some pets are always "only" pets (I'm pretty sure my oldest cat would like that status. Hell, she wants to get rid of ME -- she was my husband's before we married and has yet to forgive me for taking her side of the bed).
So do not do not do NOT beat up yourself for making a go at it. You can't know the unknown until you...you know, know it. Or something like that.
De-lurking here. Nothing new to add to all the eloquent comments above, except to say you did everything right - how can you go wrong when all you've done is give love? I just feel bad for you because you can't live with Lulu. As Squirl said, it takes character to do what is right for all concerned, which you did. Feel sad, yes, but the self-flagellation? Then you are just playing into Yoshi's devious master plan.
Oh, don't be so hard on yourself. The QUEEN won. She knew you would have to cave and she is happy you did. the pup will find a nice home, he is so cute.
Hey guys! Thanks for all the love and support. And thanks for de-lurking too. I feel much better about it all.
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