Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Nasty! Don't Mean a Thing!

In the two years I’ve been writing my blog I’ve never received an icky comment or shitty email. Everybody has been nothing but lovely, supportive and kind. So YAY! and Thank You! and all that because I think that kind of bad stuff, in large enough doses, could really get to a person after a while.

So imagine my surprise when a rather nasty email arrived in my inbox today. Not from a fellow blogger or internet troll but from the person who had been chosen to adopt Lulu.

I have spent the last week and an half fielding several emails per day from people who were eager and excited about the prospect of bringing Lulu into their homes. The rescue shelter where I adopted her from had very strict criteria to meet so most of these applicants were rejected. Friends of my friend who is fostering Lulu at the moment expressed interest and we encouraged them to apply to adopt Lulu. They did and the rescue shelter lady wasn’t sure they were the right match but my friend and I raved about them and promised that they’d be perfect. Against her better judgment she agreed to the adoption saying she trusted us.

And then the slow decline into hell began. The husband of the couple who seemed to be the spokesperson of the two was not the slightest bit excited when I called to let them know they had been accepted to adopt Lulu. In fact he brushed me off saying he’d call later and then didn’t. I emailed him asking for a date/timeline/ball-park estimate as to when they wanted to take Lulu with no reply. I asked for any kind of information at all about their intentions and got no reply. He did venture to say he wanted to take Lulu for the day to introduce her to their cat and then didn’t make arrangements to pick her up or even contact me to let me know what was happening. A complete no-show.

Well…I sent a very nice email expressing my concerns that there seemed to be some sort of disconnect and that I was not getting the information I needed to get them and Lulu together. I explained my obligations towards the rescue shelter and my responsibilities towards Lulu. I outlined how the payment of the adoption fee would work depending on how the adoption was arranged; immediate pick up or slow introduction into their home. I asked them to give me their thoughts and wishes so we could work together to get Lulu happy and settled.

I got no reply.

So I cancelled the adoption.

And when I emailed to tell them so I wasn’t so nice anymore. I certainly wasn’t rude but I made VERY clear the reasons why I was not going to adopt Lulu to them and nothing was sugar coated. I questioned why they had applied for Lulu in the first place. I explained what they should have done and what they didn’t do. I outlined the circumstances of their application and how my friend and I had stuck our necks out to get them accepted. I told them what an embarrassing and awkward situation they had put us in with the shelter. I said they owed my friend an apology as she had advocated for them very strongly and they let her down. I said they had let Lulu down as well.

Ok-maybe not the kind of email one wants to get but there were no profanities. No personal attacks. Just the irrefutable facts of the matter, my side of the situation and the predicament I was now in. Hell, I have the whole adoption exchange on email and words don’t lie! They totally blew me off.

And that is when the husband sent me the nasty email. It was personal, it was low, it was petty and it contained a very blatant lie. A horrible ass covering desperate lie. A lie that one shouldn’t commit to paper and send out into the world because it is gonna come back and bite you on that ass you are trying to protect.

Remember, I have all the emails...

The best part was that this nasty email was also really funny. I laughed out loud when I read it.

A couple years ago this email would have devastated me. I would have been agonizing that they didn’t liiiike meeee or that it was unnnnfaaaiiiirr. Not now. All those happy pills and hours of therapy have done the trick. And the best part is that a year of picking apart all my idiosyncrasies and issues with a therapist has given me the knowledge and insight to be able to pick apart the mental freakiness of others. And let me tell you this email was filled with all sorts of very interesting and telling things to pick apart. Veeeeery interesting. And that made it all the funnier.

Growing up so rocks.


lawyerchik said...

Rude people suck. Glad you stood up for Lulu, too - some people wouldn't have made the effort but would have let it be someone else's problem.

Give Yoshi a squoosh for me!!

Leigh-Ann said...

Oh man, I am so behind on my blog reading, and now when I finally get here I find DRAMA! You're a much better person that I, I've gotta tell you... I would have posted the email ;-)

I'm sorry things didn't work out with Lulu, but it certainly does sound like Yoshi wasn't going to come around. Lulu looks like a fabulous dog, and with you looking out for her, I'm sure she'll find the perfect home.

alan said...

If they can't manage to get things right at this point I can't imagine what life would have been like for Lulu!

I am like the "old you" in so many ways...somehow I would have known this was all my fault somehow and been going out of my way to "make things right". Funny how I can see things for what they are right up until it's my life we're speaking of!

Perhaps I'll grow up someday, too!

But I'm very very glad you have already!


eclectic said...

Growing up DOES rock, doesn't it?!?! YEAH!! It can suck, but it's worth it. Good for you! And even better for Lulu!! Rock on with your bad, grown-up self, Mz. Kranki!

lazylightning said...

Post the email! Post the email! :-)


I think the thing most clearly proved by the nasty email, was that they are definitely not right for Lulu! What wastes of space.

kalki said...

You are a class act, and I'm proud of you. First, for doing the right thing and cancelling the adoption. And second, for having perspective. It's a hard thing to achieve, and many grown-ups never do.

sharkey said...

Good for you! For doing right by Lulu and for not being upset by the email. And you were mature enough not to post the actual email? Wow--I wanna be like you when I grow up. :)

Random and Odd said...

I wanna know what you're taking, what the dosage is and what therapy you're in because HELLO girl needs it over here.

I would like to think I would be that cool about stuff, but damn am I horrible about 'fairness' and if someone writes me a mean email...oh, I am writing them back and saying, "HA! YOU LIED!"

It's an aries thing. I think.

I'm glad Yoshi's feeling better though.

What happened to me fixing this green ass site? I think I still have the template around here somewhere. Email me.

here today, gone tomorrow said...

Clearly you were meant to be in Lulu's life because no-one is a better, more committed advocate for her. You go!

Squirl said...

I'm with everyone else here that you should be very proud of how you've matured. You're right all the way.

east village idiot said...

Shame on them! And good for you Ms. Kranki!

JP said...

That is so not cool! I remember when Sharkey and I fostered dogs you could really tell the "good" people from the "not so good" ones, who sort of had good intentions, but would not have been a good home. You did good kid!!