Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Friday, January 18, 2008

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-Yoshi's Kitchen Nightmare

Every blue moon I cook up a huge pot of tomato sauce to spoon into small serving sized containers for my freezer. I hate cooking so this is the only way I can avoid scurvy. One nasty cooking hour resulting in several wondrous microwaving minutes at later dates.

Yoshi should count her blessings that this phenomenon doesn't happen more regularly because her aversion to the smell of onions being cut up is very dramatic and fraught with anguish and despair.

As I start chopping the onions (said in a Creole accent-Onyons!) I can see her out of the corner of my eye sniffing the air with a decidedly peevish cast to her ears.

Then the obsessive head tossing and lip smacking begins.

This part lasts for several minutes.

By this time most likely the onions are in the skillet and the worst is over. My streaming eyes have stopped leaking. But Yoshi? Oh no. She's not finished.

She then runs to my bedroom and starts her pitiful wailing.
Woe, woe, my EYES! They pain me! You are a horrible person to perpetuate such dastardly deeds against my frail person!

I go to her and pet her a little.

It is not enough.

She looks at me, ears at half mast and blinks. And blinks. And blinks some more.

What she wants is for me to wipe away her tears.

Yes, tears. She actually has tears.

I get a tissue and wipe away her tears. Cooing sweet nothings to her.

But too soon I have to return to my cauldron of poison.

And then the whole thing starts again until the sauce is finished cooking and packed away in the freezer.

Actual cat tears.

Actual snotty nose.


here today, gone tomorrow said...

"Peevish cast to her ears." Outstanding.

(*wonders if she's allergic?*)

Sharkey said...

Who knew that cats could react that way to onions? Maggie would stand there begging from us (but it's bad to give onions to dogs) until every last morsel had been put in the pot.

So glad you included the Actual Snotty Nose photo. :)

HAR said...

You absolutely crack me up.

Love the snot photos.

Squirl said...

Poor Yoshi. It's a good thing you don't cook every day. She'd have to be on antihistamines all the time.

Anonymous said...

"decidedly peevish cast to her ears..." Perfect description.

The smell of ballpoint pens makes Bridget gag. I start to write with one, and she immediately gags. Even from several feet away. So strange.

lawyerchik said...

Poooooor Yoshi! SO unloved.....

Glad you got your cooking done. I wonder if it's just the onions or the fact that you are engrossed in something that doesn't relate to her in any way? :)

[Who knew that a snotty cat nose and teary eye would be so cute? :)]

Ern said...

Wow, I never thought that the onions might bother anyone but me. (I seriously don't know how the Food Network people do it.)

Poor Yoshi.

But awesome post. :)

mrtl said...

so cruel with your onyons

opragal said...

the fact that you took pictures of her distress *before* wiping away the tears?

alan said...

I'll have to see what reaction I get from Frankie; I hadn't noticed one yet, but will make a point of him being awake and upstairs next time I slice up an onion...


Thank you for the smile!