Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Monday, June 26, 2006

Flooding the Market

3 more sleeps until the move!

When I was packing up the contents of my bookshelves I found a baggie of peanuts I had tucked away there for when Buddy the Nut Slut comes to visit. I call all squirrels Buddy the Nut Slut. It is just easier. I get squirrels at my window and in the past have fed them peanuts. I was a total sucker. Then the little bastards started coming right in and raiding my fruit bowl. Seriously! Yoshi just sat there and watched them do it too. And then they started eating my flowers and then the actual wooden window boxes. So I stopped feeding them because they were abusing the system. You feed one squirrel and then the next thing you know its whole posse is shaking you down every day.

Instead of throwing out the nuts I had a soft moment and put them all on my fire escape. About 4 handfuls. I swear those peanuts where gone in a matter of minutes. There must have been a stake-out or something. Gone! Whoosh!

A couple days later I was talking to my next door neighbour about the flowers coming up in the front yard and she said, “The squirrels are sure busy. I have been finding peanuts EVERYWHERE buried in the yard and in the flower pots. Millions of them.”

Hee hee hee hee hee!!!


Sharkey said...

Heh, heh . . . I love it! I hope your neighbor doesn't throw away the nuts she finds, or Buddy will be really disappointed come fall.

Character Builder said...

"Abusing the system" made me laugh!

Closet Metro said...

wait a minute - you're the one who is so easy with the nuts.

eclectic said...

Buddy the Nut-Slut! Hee! That's my new favorite squirrel name. Although, I promise not to use it on Squirl.

kalki said...

This cracked me up: "So I stopped feeding them because they were abusing the system."

And this: "I call all squirrels Buddy the Nut Slut. It is just easier."

I so heart you.

Squirl said...

You call ALL squirrels Nut Sluts???

east village idiot said...


You're a true animal lover - - but I'd be freaking out if I saw Buddy the Nut Slut in my house eating out of my fruit bowl!

I guess I'm more partial to human sluts.

Susie said...

I have trouble throwing out the nuts, too.

Hey, my kid calls all squirrels Buddy! (she leaves off the nut slut part -- so far)

Bucky Four-Eyes said...

I just call all squirrels "Sis."

alan said...

If squirrels were the size of horses I wouldn't have any relatives left!


lawyerchik said...

Boy would my dog love to visit your backyard..... He LOVES to chase squirrels - jumps halfway up the tree barking after them!! :)

MrsDoF said...

You reminded me of a time: the apartment house which oldest son remembers as "the Brown House" because he was only 2 when we lived there.

There was a black walnut tree down at the end of the alley, and the lady who lived in a nearby house said the nuts could be gathered by anybody who wanted to do the work.

The boy and I went over and collected a bucketful, carried it back to our second floor apartment.
We got some foodservice gloves and proceeded to clean off the nasty and stain producing outer hull, then washed the whole nuts by dragging the hose up the fire escape.
I laid all the nuts out real nice, over in the corner of our balcony, where the afternoon sun would dry them. Black walnut meats are a several step process to get to the good stuff---for people anyway.

The next morning, I looked out the window, quite satisfied with our efforts. Come Christmas, there would be enough nutmeats to bake up at least one batch of cookies.
However,we had an appointment, so the son and I got on with our day.

Husband came home for lunch and said he heard all kinds of commotion out in front. Being on the second floor, he didn't know what to make of it.
When he opened the door, there were squirrels of all ages, leaping and rustling in the oak tree--whose branches touched the railing of our balcony.

It seems the local squirrels had greatly appreciated all our efforts, and were busily stealing the ready-made goodie supply.
They left us not one, not a single one, of the black walnuts.

At that time, I did not know the term Buddy, the Nut Slut, but it fits.

And it is nice to know that I am not the only gullible person who feeds the critters until they take advantage of the system. I never thought of it quite that way before.

You surely do have nice way to turn a phrase.

spoonleg said...

hahahahaha! the squirrels were shaking you down. SUCKER!

hemlock said...

My mom used to feel squirrels hazelnuts. She spoiled those bastards, then wondered why she had squirrels ripping off the siding from her townhouse...

I love the idea that Yoshi was just watching them 'abuse the system'.