Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Monday, July 28, 2008

Well On My Way To Crotchetyoldwomanville

I live in an apartment building that has retail spaces on the ground floor. Right below my balcony is a little cafe that has outdoor seating. Most sunny days this guy sits outside for a couple hours and chats with friends while enjoying a beverage. He is disabled and he parks his scooter-thingie on the grass and ties his dog up to it. His dog is this seriously cute Miniature Pinscher. Well, cute until he starts barking. And barking. AAAAANNND barking. Yip! Yip! Yip!

The damned dog barks pretty much constantly the whole time this guy is at the cafe. Honestly, I'm not sure what bugs me the most, the incessant yapping or the fact that the guy just sits there about 10 feet away and does nothing about it.

Here's the thing. I could go downstairs and ask the guy to deal with his dog. Or I could phone the cafe and complain. Better yet, why don't I just shut my windows, buck up, and get on with my life?

All very good options. Yet, I am not compelled to use any of them.

Instead, it is ALL I CAN DO not to drop a water balloon on that dog. I have a perfect vantage point and I know I would very easily soak the thing. Probably get the scooter splashed pretty good as well. Despite acknowledging that all the dog lovers in the area would burn me at the hydrant I cannot stop aching to feel that squishy orb of water and latex leave my hand knowing that it would stop the barking, give a clear message to the dog owner and not actually harm anybody.

Somebody stop me! Or better yet, anybody want to join me?

12 comments:

Squirl said...

Oh, I understand how you feel when there's irritating noise about which you can do very little. Does the water balloon sound like fun? Yes! Would there be repercussions? Probably. The fun answer is water balloon, the safest way is to call the cafe and let them know.

Ern said...

I think you'd better plan a one-two attack, one balloon for the dog, a second for the owner.

mrtl said...

I say dump Yoshi's water over the ledge. Oops.

Sharkey said...

I know exactly how you feel--our neighbors sit outside and read a book while their tied-up dog barks incessantly only five feet away from them. It doesn't bother them in least. Meanwhile, it drives me CRAZY.

Drop the balloon on the owner, not the dog. It's not the dog's fault.

here today, gone tomorrow said...

sharkey stole my line. Aim for the owner.

operagal1 said...

I'm turning the taps on as we speak

kalki said...

If you do it, video it. So we can all pretend we were there.

lawyerchik said...

Count me as a third vote for water-bombing the owner. And a second for the vote to videotape so we can vicariously participate!! :)

And as far as what would bug me most? As a dog owner, it's the sitting there while the dog is barking without doing anything about it. The dog is clearly bored and wants attention - it is not nearly as fun for the dog to sit for hours doing nothing as it is for us humans!!

alan said...

A squirt gun or one of those water bazookas instead, that way perhaps you can remain anonymous?

:o)

alan

JP said...

They cannot prosecute you if they don't know where the balloon came from. Food for thought...

HAR said...

This is right up my alley. You need to invite me over during my next cycle. :)

I'll take care of that blasted owner and his little dog too!

Calamity Jen said...

As a fan of big dogs who believes that so-called small dogs are not really dogs at all, and as someone in week three of a very long month looking after a yappy little pug, I'm SO with you.

The nice-and-friendly approach is the best one to start with if you feel that the owner would be sympathetic once he understood the aggravation his little pest has been causing you. Otherwise... bombs awaaaaaaaay!