Normally, my evenings are spent at home, in comfy clothes, working at my computer, harassing the cat or watching sleazy TV. Well, if you know me you'll be very surprised to hear that I spent my Friday evening at a friend's book launch party. Now this is not just any ordinary friend but the fabulous lady who is helping me with my anxiety disorder.
Over the years I've seen over half a dozen different therapist type folks and although they have tried to help I cannot help but remember the puzzlement in their eyes while I described my issues and symptoms. I found Anna through the internet on a site she mediates and even though the site was based in the UK she lives in my city. I emailed her and she agreed to take me on.
I can say with complete certainty that this awesome chick gets me. Really truly gets where I am coming from. I honestly believe that she gets me like NOBODY else on this planet does. If she were a guy I'd stalk her like my boyfriend, Henry Rollins. Instead I blurt out inane things and she laughs and nods her head because somehow, someway, it makes sense to her.
I cannot explain how much this means to me.
Actually I can. Tonight I crawled off the couch and shed my manky Pjs and not only showered AND shaved my legs but I actually put on a skirt. It has been a couple years since I've worn girl clothes. AND I wriggled into a pair of tights. Now that, my friends, is HUGE. I despise pantyhose type items with a passion. It has easily been over 5 years since I've worn tights. Maybe even longer. AND, this is epic, people, I put on make up AS WELL.
Not even when I saw my boyfriend, Henry Rollins, in concert last week did I put on tights and a skirt. But I did it for Anna because she is so cool.
I so rarely go out where there might be people which may require me to engage in social chit chat. I feel completely inept and paralyzed and sick and trapped. It's that anxiety thing I was talking to you about. But I knew Anna would understand if I lost my shit and started clucking like a chicken in the middle of her party so I sucked it up and got off the couch. The whole night I wore one of those deer in headlights sort of gazes and at one point a guy approached me and asked me if I was ok and told me that I looked lonely.
Lord.
Anyway, Anna has written a book and if you are at all interested in creating positive change in your life this may be what you need to read. She has helped me immensely and has been very supportive of my goals. She went with me to the hospital to calm me the hell down with my last surgery and visited me afterwards. She is never mad when I have to bail on an appointment when my agoraphobia is so bad I cannot leave my house or if I am too tired due to my insomnia. She has been a huge cheerleader of my Yoshi Calendar.
So I want to share the love with y'all and link you to Anna's 'Evoking Change' Blog as well as to where you can buy her book.
And how does this affect Yoshi? Well, when the mamma is happy, the kitty is happy. So Yoshi endorses Anna's book too.
13 comments:
want a hug? Linus and I are giving them out no charge.
Good for you for getting up and getting out there, even though it makes you uncomfortable.
I'm glad that overall the mama and the kitty are happy.
I first read this in the wee, insomniac hours. I'm so proud of you for doing what's difficult. You're damned good at that. And so happy that you have Anna. I dragged my insomniac butt to her website and read for quite a while. Very impressive, that one. And last, but not least, I ordered her book. :)
Yay for finding someone who gets you!
And yay for seeing your boyfriend! How was the concert?
This is a really huge accomplishment Kranki. I am proud of you X 100! Sometimes the things that are the hardest help pull you out of a "funk."
I have my own anxiety issues that were around way before my cancer. I am absolutely going to buy that book.
Thanks for aharing and congratulations!
Congratulations, kranki. I'm proud of you. I hate those types of social situations, too. I will check out Anna's blog and book; thanks for telling us about her.
Fanks fer visitin' our bloggie - our Mommakitty is an adoptee too...and a psycho-lady-therapist.
We really luvs Yoshi's calendar - she's a babe! WE hope you and Yoshi visit us again soon!
I'm so glad you've found someone who understands you. It sounds like it's helping you. I might have to check the book out. I ordered my Yoshi calendar. It's the first time I've seen the US price be that much higher than the Canadian. ;-)
I bet you were stunnning all dressed up, because you're gorgeous when you're not even trying!
Not much of one for crowds here; you just did something I probably wouldn't have...
Though I love the holidays, and even the shopping and overspending; I dread "the mall" at full peak. I'll try to go early in the day mid-week if I have to go at all. Better yet I'll hit the non-mall stores or the net!
alan
Congratulations! And blessings.
Good for you for getting out there!
And having a therapist who gets you is soooo important. I'm happy for you for that reason too. :)
Oh yay! Sounds like Anna is someone I should read -- I'll have to go check it out!! I'm so glad you went -- that's friendship, what you did. Good for you!
It's great that you could do all of that and be inspired! Good for you. Ever try deep breathing techniques for the anxiety? I hear it works pretty well for some people.
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