Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Watching My Independence Trickle Away

After going though cancer treatment all last year a lot of things got put on the back burner. There are so many jobs I want to catch up on like painting my whole apartment INCLUDING the ceilings which is not going to happen any time soon because my right arm is still sore and weak from my surgery. I also have to get rid of my poor decrepit couch to make room for a new one but I don’t know how I am going to get that behemoth down 2 flights of stairs. My car desperately needs to be polished and detailed as it hasn’t been washed in over a year. Basically, I need a boyfriend.

I am a long time standing single gal and for the most part am quite content to be free of the drama and problems that arise within relationships. I have the whole bed to myself and I have 100% control over the TV remote. No pesky whisker hairs in my sink and I never have to worry about a dutch oven when I least expect it. I am able to do most everything that needs to be done on my own and without help but things are a bit different now since my surgeries. It seems I turned into a bit of a useless girl.

DAMMIT!!! Sometimes having a nice strong guy around is mighty handy. Now don’t get all women’s' lib-ish on me. I don’t expect him to do it all while I go out for lunch with the ladies. Only it would be nice to have a bit of help with the heavy stuff or the high bits. A nice guy to offer to take the inevitable face splatter from painting overhead and cart the ladder up and down the stairs. Maybe even give me a back rub after I do all the detail work on my car dash with Q-Tips while he does the scrubbing on the outside. I’d give him one too. If I didn’t fall asleep during mine. I am generous that way.

No guys are jumping out of the woodwork to help so for now I have to live with the chipped paint and the moss on my car. My old couch will linger in the hallway for other tenants to climb over to get to their apartments. My back will remain unrubbed.

But I am working on it.


Sharkey said...

Why *not* expect him to do it all while you lunch with the ladies? :)

I wish I lived closer--I'd come and help you paint, and I wouldn't even subject you to a dutch oven.

alan said...

You are someone's dream, waiting to come true...

They will be so lucky!


Twisteduterus said...

I hear you....

dag-perpetually single

Closet Metro said...

Someday your prince will come...

angela marie said...

This is exactly what my divorced (for over 10 years) sister-in-law was just telling me. She lives an hour away, so I can't just run and help her...plans have to be made for my kids, etc. She just had to have gallbladder surgery and was lamenting missing having a man in the house to help her out. I totally understood.

hemlock said...

Isn't there something like "Dial a husband" or something? I thought there was a handyman service kicking around, but I could be wrong.

I know that paying for it isn't quite the same, but you could get stuff done...

"paying for it..." ha ha ha ... sounds almost illegal!

Anonymous said...

Well said :-) I felt the same way last night as I hauled furniture from my garage to my house. It reminds me of the episode of Sex and the City where Samantha, suffering from the flu when her blinds fall down from the window, finally admits she would like a man in her life to help her in such situations. *sigh*

Me - 38 and single and fabulous.

Lazy Lightning said...

Men are GREAT for this kind of thing. Opening jars, carrying your groceries, moving your furniture around.

I, however, have to do all the car stuff, but I don't mind that.

Good luck!

P.S. Didn't you mention you have a brother in the area? Maybe he could help you with stuff like moving the couch!

Dima said...

No, I think you deserve a guy that does that while you're lunching with the ladies! Every once in a while, that is, because sometimes it's ok to be homely and cook and clean while your guy is scratching his balls with the boys!

sheryl said...

Aint no way - if you were my friend in the same city - that those tasks would go undone!
I even do nonsexual backrubs on my friends.

Maybe you should socialize more - gotta be some cheap and fun ways to meet people when you feel like it. Ever since my best guy friend found his true love this way, I recommend cooking classes at the local community center or college.

Even if you know how to cook already. The people taking those classes, if they are single, are ready to nurture! I also think volunteer groups is a great place to meet people.

kalki said...

Yoshi doesn't leave whisker hairs in the sink?

eclectic said...

Hee! You are so funny! But honestly, a pick-up truck and a couple of buddies with a couple of hours to spare should get you just about where you want to be. Good luck -- wish I could help!!

whfropera said...

oh even if you did have a boyfriend - most of the time they have to be trained to do that stuff with/for you anyway...


- who is still figuring out how to train Linus to do the dishes.

Amy said...

I wish I could jump out of the woodwork and help you.

Squirl said...

I don't see why one of the guys in your apartment building won't just help you. Seems like someone would, at least, help you get the couch outside.

east village idiot said...

I wish I lived near you. My husband Brian would be more than happy to help you too sister.

Von Krankipantzen said...

SHARKEY-well, that is a perfect scenario. I didn't want to appear too greedy.

ALAN-you are the sweetest!!!

TWISTED U-oh yeah. Sista!

CLOSET M-I really hope so.

ANGELA MARIE-your poor sister. It is the worst being unwell and on your own.

LEAFGIRL77-you might be on to something. If there isn't one there should be.

ANON-I hear you. I cannot believe you hauled that furniture all by yourself. It is amazing what we single gals can do in a pinch.

LAZY LIGHTNING-my bro has just recently moved out of town into his own house that needs major renos. He was never good about helping me and nowadays there is no hope in hell. My neighbours and parents are going to help me.

DIMA-you are very right. I wouldn't mind cooking for my own ball scratcher so a little work while I lunch only seems fair.

SHERYL-you rock! I think you are right about more socializing. All my friends are married with kids and not there for me to paint for pizza like they used to be.

KALKI-nope. But she does leave fur EVERYWHERE else.

ECLECTIC-thank for the help offer. Sadly I don't know a soul with a pick up truck. Bummer.

WHFROPERA-good point. Yoshi still won't go get the mail.

AMY-thanks. The thought counts.

SQUIRL-my next door neighbour and her boyfriend are going to help me. They are great.

EASTY-you are too kind. If you lived close by I would totally take you up on it.

ScottyGee said...

All the Canadian men must be busy watching playoff hockey. =)

You'll find your man soon. All your scary stalker letters to Henry have to pay off at some point. Right?

Random and Odd said...

It's because you're in Canada. Come to California...I'll share mine.

Wait, what did I just say?