We Are Family

I welcomed a brand new addition into my home today. I am the proud owner of a new couch. Yes, it is a cheap couch but a new one which is something I’ve never had before. My last couch was bought for $20 in a junk shop and then inexpertly reupholstered by myself. That was 6 years ago and while the old couch was not necessarily in rough shape it wasn’t exactly a thing of beauty. In fact I was feeling slightly guilty about spending the money as I am sure I could have ‘made do’ with the old couch for a year or two longer despite the fact it had started swallowing my ass. But since I have started feeling better the last few months I am experiencing a major nesting compulsion and am craving a whole new look for my apartment. Maybe it is needing to start fresh again after a hard time. Maybe it is because I didn’t do much shopping for the last year and need to make up for that. Maybe Yoshi is whispering decorating tips to me in my sleep. I don’t know but things, they are a’ changing!

Once I had set up The New Structure of Enveloping Goodness I took a moment to have a chat with Yoshi. I snuggled up to her real close and whispered these words into her ear.

“If you claw the new couch I’ll kill you.”

“If you piss on the new couch I’ll kill you.”

“If you puke on the new couch I’ll kill you.”

She has never done any of these vile actions before but I just wanted to make myself clear.

Now I have to admit that a certain someone told me today that I am dangerously close to becoming a crazy cat lady. That all my posts revolve around Yoshi. I have no idea what he is talking about.

My Fur Child ejecting her tenatiously clingy individual hairs onto my new suede-like upholstery.

Despite my dire warnings to the cat about proper couch celebrating etiquette I tempted fate by not only eating a spicy curry dinner while sitting on the couch but also consumed vast quantities of orangey type Cheesy Poufs on it as well. The couch held its own and repelled any splatter and crumbs. Well done Couchy Poo, well done!

I think we are all going to get along just fine. Any family addition who facilitates me laying around is always welcome.

PS-if anybody ever wants to quit drinking I suggest you read this. I don’t drink at all and now NEVER will. EVER!!!!