Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Thursday, May 04, 2006

We Are Family

I welcomed a brand new addition into my home today. I am the proud owner of a new couch. Yes, it is a cheap couch but a new one which is something I’ve never had before. My last couch was bought for $20 in a junk shop and then inexpertly reupholstered by myself. That was 6 years ago and while the old couch was not necessarily in rough shape it wasn’t exactly a thing of beauty. In fact I was feeling slightly guilty about spending the money as I am sure I could have ‘made do’ with the old couch for a year or two longer despite the fact it had started swallowing my ass. But since I have started feeling better the last few months I am experiencing a major nesting compulsion and am craving a whole new look for my apartment. Maybe it is needing to start fresh again after a hard time. Maybe it is because I didn’t do much shopping for the last year and need to make up for that. Maybe Yoshi is whispering decorating tips to me in my sleep. I don’t know but things, they are a’ changing!

Once I had set up The New Structure of Enveloping Goodness I took a moment to have a chat with Yoshi. I snuggled up to her real close and whispered these words into her ear.

“If you claw the new couch I’ll kill you.”

“If you piss on the new couch I’ll kill you.”

“If you puke on the new couch I’ll kill you.”

She has never done any of these vile actions before but I just wanted to make myself clear.

Now I have to admit that a certain someone told me today that I am dangerously close to becoming a crazy cat lady. That all my posts revolve around Yoshi. I have no idea what he is talking about.

My Fur Child ejecting her tenatiously clingy individual hairs onto my new suede-like upholstery.

Despite my dire warnings to the cat about proper couch celebrating etiquette I tempted fate by not only eating a spicy curry dinner while sitting on the couch but also consumed vast quantities of orangey type Cheesy Poufs on it as well. The couch held its own and repelled any splatter and crumbs. Well done Couchy Poo, well done!

I think we are all going to get along just fine. Any family addition who facilitates me laying around is always welcome.

PS-if anybody ever wants to quit drinking I suggest you read this. I don’t drink at all and now NEVER will. EVER!!!!


alan said...

Happy for you and Yoshi having a newer plusher place to lounge!

And despite what some might tell you, you aren't crazy! At all!

Sweet, smart, funny and gorgeous, yes; crazy, no!


Precisiongirl said...


That last link is soooooo gross.

Congrts on the new couch - it's good to have a financial splurge every now and again.

Voix said...

I remember when I bought my new couch -- my first major new furniture purchase ever. It felt so good. Yay you!

hemlock said...

Crazy cat lady I can handle. Crazy couch lady?

"Well done Couchy Poo, well done!

I don't know about that. Regardless, congrats on the new couch!!

And the story you posted the link to? WOW, so disgusting.

LadyBug said...

Congrats on the new addition! Is it sleeping through the night yet? ;)

Love and hugs to you, Kranki.

Sharkey said...

Yay for new furniture! I hope Yoshi heeds your strong warnings and you all live happily ever after.

ScottyGee said...

Congrats on the new couch. I hope it is loungetastic, you crazy cat lady!

Karen said...

I'm with LeafGirl, but then again, I know how nice it is to get new furniture. Sometimes you just can't help but give it a personality.

My couch would kill me if I ever called it "Couchy Poo".

JessicaRabbit said...

Crazy cat lady?

I dont understand the phrase...

Lowa said...

We bought our first couch last year. VERY exciting stuff indeed.

I loved your post about it:) I had misplaced your blog for a time and now found it again. I will have to back track and see what all I missed.

My husband and I had FOUR cats before we had kids. We sent hours of video to family of every move and sound they made.

You are fine, trust me. LOL

I read the article and almost hurled.

True_Halcyon said...

The couch won't be officially broken in unitl you eat both chocolate AND sushi on it! : ) And yeah, I'll pass on the People Rum, thanks...

Squirl said...

A new couch is very important to the health of your back. In fact, I think it should be tax deductable since slouching in bad, old furniture is bad for you. And if you can have a personal relationship with it, too? all the better.

Lazy Lightning said...

Hey, is that that "washable suede"/microfiber stuff? Have you noticed whether it is a cat-hair magnet yet? We are thinking we'd like our next living room set to be that type of fabric.. but we have two cats (and we weren't even smart enough to get cats with the same fur color).