Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Monday, September 24, 2007

A Karmic "Kick Me" Sign

I must have been real real bad in a previous life because the nasty stuff keeps coming my way.

So as you read in my last post the nasty peeper wanted to be my Facebook friend. I emailed him telling his that he was a “disgusting pervert peeping tom” and that under no circumstances would I ever want to be his friend-even through Facebook. I told him never to contact me again and I then blocked him.

It just wouldn’t have worked to accept his friendship request and then call him out that way as he could delete very easily anything I said about him.

I also don’t want to engage him in any way.

I’m working my ass off on the upcoming Yoshi Calendar and things are going slower than I hoped. I will start two months earlier next year. And to add to that time crunch starting Friday workmen will be coming into my little apartment to scrape the ceiling, patch the cracks and then re-texture. Did I mention my dining room table, set up with sewing machine and glue gun, is about 4 feet from where the work will be done? Crap! I have nowhere else to work while they are doing this so I will have to work around them somehow.

And then to add insult AND injury to this I had a wonderful little appointment with my doctor today. Thursday night my right eye felt sore and I noticed a bug bite sort of thing right near the corner of my eye. I put antibiotic ointment…

**MRTL Style Tangent-I love the word ointment. It is such a great combination of sounds. Say it to yourself a few times. Try some different accents. See what I mean? End of MTL Style Tangent**

..on it but it wasn’t getting any better. So off to the doc I went today and he took one look at it and told me what was wrong.

Eyelid herpes.

Yes, I have a cold sore on my eyelid.

Fuck.

Frantically, I told my doc that I practiced safe eye-socket sex (I put my whole head in a baggie for that) and he assured me that it is merely something I picked up from life. So every public door I opened, bank machine I used, grocery cart I pushed, second hand store I rummaged through (for props for the calendar), elevator button I touched, and piece of money I handled over the last few days flashed before my eyes and I got a little queasy. Then he told me I might have been infected years ago and only now having an outbreak.

I knew I was a germ-a-phobe for a reason, washing my hands several times a day and using that antibiotic stuff too. For NOTHING!!!! Dammit!

I have to be careful the infection doesn’t actually spread to my eyeball because that would be bad. *Big Sigh* Seriously, what did I do in a previous life to deserve this? I was probably one of those guys who didn’t wash their hands after peeing and then handled food or something. Or brought small pox to the natives.

At least it wasn't cancer.

I feel like a Petri dish. Please still be my friend.

18 comments:

Susie said...

I'm so crazy about you. Eye-socket sex. You are a hoot. The Yoshi calendar will be a big hit. This will work out; a bend in the road. Maybe the slowing down on it will allow some new, exciting ideas to emerge, that couldn't have if you'd been full-speed ahead. Maybe the workers will be gorgeous. A little. All will be well.
(Cheez. Who knew you could get eyelid herpes? I did not know this. You are educating us. Wash hands, don't touch eyes. Got it.)

mrtl said...

I'm so glad you explained the possible sources of your predicament, Kranki. I was ever so worried that you had been rubbing the wrong people... on your eye.

Freakin' peeping pervert should be the one getting eyelid herpes. A pox on the peeping pervert!

Sharkey said...

Don't worry--I'll still be your friend (and I'm sure you were totally worried about that!). Maybe you can get some of that medication so we can go kayaking and biking like they do on TV.

alan said...

Eye socket sex...I remember something from a book somewhere about wink jobs...

I'm glad you handled that other thing exactly the way you did; obviously in his own mind he did nothing wrong. Karma will deal with him, if it hasn't already!

Your friend forever...

alan

HAR said...

Can I catch that from your blog?

I'm proud of you for telling off the perv. He deserved it.

You kill me. I'm sorry that you have been having a row of annoying events. Take care of your lid as I know you will, to protect that eye. NK.

Don't forget the ointment.

Candy said...

I would still have respected you without your disclaimer about why you were rummaging in second hand stores.

Hope you feel better soon! And we need more head-crushing!!

lawyerchik said...

"I feel like a Petri dish. Please still be my friend."

OK

And ditto to Susie's observation: who knew you could get eyelid herpes? Thanks for the hygiene tips!

Can't wait to see the Yoshi calendar!! :)

kalki said...

Honey, I had a plantar wart. There is no judgment here.

here today, gone tomorrow said...

Always!

SassyFemme said...

Eye socket sex? ROFLMAO!!!

Circe said...

Kranki dear, I think you should have added "eye-socket sex" to your labels. I am so sorry things have been running less than smoothly in your life but I can say without qualification that your life is most entertaining!

And do let us know if you hear back from the Perv...

hugs,
circe

JP said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JP said...

I get eye bumps every once in a while. I find warm compresses, actually flippin' hot ones do a great job to make them go away!!

eclectic said...

Eyelid herpes?!?! You should definitely find a way to give that to Peeping Pervert. Hope it gets better soon!

candy said...

i think your explanation of the eye herpes makes you even more endearing. i will still be your friend :)

hemlock said...

Sorry about the eyelid herpes, but thanks for the laugh. Your description of safe eye socket sex was perfect.

Robin said...

eye herpes. only you. or me. i wonder if someday there will be commercials for this as there is now for genital herpes. i feel you on the bad karma thing....perhaps we were with the same band of marauders in a previous life?

Tay said...

Eyelid herpes and eye-socket sex. Just two more disturbing phrases to bring random strangers to your blog. (Not me though, I'm just a loyal reader). Too funny. Hope it clears up soon.

You could be a leper and have appendages falling off, and I think everyone would still be your friend!