Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Hair Update!

When I found out I needed chemo and I knew my hair would fall out I decided right away that a wig was not going to cut it with me. I would be bald during the summer months and the thought of an itchy hair mop wasn't too appealing. Instead I went crazy on eBay, dropped a lot of cash and bought myself a whole shwack of hats. Hats that quite honestly ranged from silly to horrific. I must have been out of my mind. You be the judge.

This turned out to be my Gilligan Hat. I think the eBay seller did a bait and switch as this hat arrived looking nothing like the one in the photo. It was sold as a woman's hat sized small. Nope! I can fit a Buick in there along 'side my head. Never wore it.

The crack must have been really good that day of heavy smoking as I just don't know what I was thinking with this one. I had visions of me walking down the street wearing a whole outfit that I have never owned and have no idea where it would come from and never will own but with this hat making me all mysterious and fraught with glamor. JLo I am NOT! This one still has the tags attached.

My mom bought me this one and while I love you dearly Mamma this hat is just plain silly. Picture this on a bald head. FREAKY! Once again the tags are still attached.

HOLY GOD! This hat was pictured on my head while lounging on the beach keeping those harmful rays off my delicate shoulders. Sipping fancy drinks and chatting with passer by. Never happened. I wore it once to sit in the garden and decided that flying nun gear was vastly overrated. The white stuff on the brim is dust. Need I say more?

This hat was to be my totally funkophonic style topper and I dreamed of wearing it to the Cancer Clinic and awing everybody with my hipness and cool cancerific life. My oncologist visibly started when she walked in the room and caught sight of my funk. Never worn again.

I got this from a family friend and I once again had visions. Visions of me walking along a snowy path all toasty and warm in my cashmere coat (that I don't own) dreaming of hot chocolate and watching my dogs (that I don't own) bounding in the distance. It has been one of the warmest winters on record and instead of cute I look stupid in it. Berry stupid. Tags are on this one too.

Now this bucket hat was what I wore almost exclusively all summer if I had to go out. Walmart for 7 bucks about three summers ago. Figures. I have another one almost identical made from black denim that was worn a lot too. That one was $2.99 last summer. I like it!

Now this is me as of tonight with my grown out hair. And an extra 25 lbs of chemo weight with a wicked double chin. GAH! That will be shed shortly once I get over my surgery. Overall I think the hair is doing welll and is rocking its own little style even though I have not yet had it trimmed. The colour is a bit darker than it was which is great. See those little sticky uppy hairs in the back? No control over them. They do that all on their own and no amount of product will tame them. Some people get curly hair after chemo but I got gravity resistent hair.


True_Halcyon said...

De-lurking a week late here; the hats brought me out! I think the black, green stripey, and the strawberry ones are hella cute... sending major good vibeage your way from NW Washington!

Pixie LaRouge said...

I LOVE the big floppy black hat. That said, yeah, I'd probably stick to the cheap hats, too. What is it about that? I have fancy purses, use the cheap ones most of the time. Have fancy shoes, wear the slip-ons that I got on clearance.

I'm lovin' the short, spikey 'do. Should it stay anti-grav, you could always bleach just the tips and go for some funk in the style of the green, stripy hat ;)

(and I just stuck the cat-in-oven story on my blog. Enjoy!)

alan said...

Newbie, crossing blogs and links to meet you for the first time tonight. I've read your last two, and will backtrack as I have time, but love the way you write. I wish saying "I'll be thinking of you" didn't sound so empty, but know that I shall be!


Twisteduterus said...

just shoosh on the double chin thing, you look mah-valous.

personally, I dig the stripped hat and would not have been afraid.

oh and I dig the glasses too!

Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

If we were voting, yep, I'd easily say straberry and green striped-funk.

Of course my security word is "idioxje" so obviously I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Susie said...

Oh, kranki. I knew this was gonna be good when I saw the "Little Buddy" pic. You're adorable in all of them, but if I were voting, I'd have to go with the Crack hat. Change your name to Cracki. heeheee Your new hair is gorgeous, as is the woman under it.

Clandestine said...

i think your hair is cute!! and the hats - that weird white one i'm not sure about, though. when would a person wear that?? I think my favorite is the berry!

Precisiongirl said...

Gravity resistant hair? When I was a teenager it was all I dreamed about, but no amount of product would keep my heavy locks up there in the sky. Just think of all the crazy, funky hairstyles you can sport - go on Kranki! Go bonkers for me as I curse my heavy hair.

Your hat parade is excellent - I'm always going all out when I get an idea in my head, and then regret it later. Like reading a book and because I like it buying ALL the author's other books and never reading them. Or buying expensive, better yourself-type things and never using them either... like teeth whitener, epilators and foot spas, etc

hemlock said...

I really like your do!! OR is that doo?

Anyhow, a friend of mine went through chemo recently, and decided to shave off her hair before it fell out. During her chemo, her mom continually wanted her to wear a wig. She had absolutely NO intention of ever wearing a wig. So instead she did the hat thing too. I think the hat/scarf thing is a great way to go.

And the floppy J-Lo one??? No comment.

abcd said...

Now I do like the berry hat, and the striped hat. And I love your hair, I know from Sarah your hair is so soft, it's like baby bunny hair. And I think you look simply
marvelous darling. Your smile, your eyes, your glow. No I am not trying to pick you up :). Truly
I am sitting here laughing at these hats, and I will be back to laugh again at a few of these. I think maybe Queeen Elizabeth might
have put one or two of those on EBAY.
Despite the humor here, I know your still scared and you did a
great diversion.

Lots of hugs and love,

Cindy said...

The hats by themselves are questionable, but as they are modeled look great to me. :-)

Your not alone in buying items that you think you'll have other items to match it to but never do - I think I have a belt and shoes in the same shade to go with your hat!

Effie said...

loving the hair! I really like the strawberry hat on you--quite cute! And the funky green one too! But the one you ended up wearing did flatter you most! (I have to say though--in the right venue, each and every one of those would look fab!)

Hugs to you!

Twixie said...

Aww JLo got nothing on you... you're working the crack hat... Although I must say I feeling the gravity defying hair the most.

kalki said...

Oh, this post cracked me up! NOT because I'm laughing at the hats (because that would be RUDE, although I may perhaps have snickered just a bit at the Crack Hat, maybe) but because I do the exact same thing with the visions. I will buy a skirt because I can envision myself fashion-flouncing down the streets of New York (where, as you know, I don't live) with my Hermes bag (which I don't own and could never afford) on the arm of (you guessed it) John Stamos. Like all of that comes with the skirt or something! Utterly delusional.

Also, your hair is rocking it! And I like the sticky uppy hairs the best. Truly.

mrtl said...

Crack hats aside, you are absolutely adorable! Still, I must hate you because of your effortless stylin'. How rude! And unfair! ;) Even the little sticky uppy hairs in the back look good.

happyandblue2 said...

I liked the first hat. The berry hat looks like something you would wear to crush Yoshi's head.
And I like your current hatless look the most. You are such a cutie..

laura said...

You are so freaking cute AND pretty, and your hair looks awesome. Shit, I pay good money to have mine cut just like that, and yours looks much better. You look great, and for the record, I like the green stripey hat.

Dima said...

I love your new grown hair. And the hats just kill me. Some of them remind me of ones my mom would wear when I was a kid, and would force me to say "she's not my mom!" Silly ebay hats! I like the red wool one though.

ieatcrayonz said...

What, no do-rag?!

Doreen said...

Hello! I know last week was offical de-lurking week, but why not extend it to this week, yes? Not only did I read about you on Susie's blog, but my dearest friend Kelly ("kalki," "klog," "lady with a million names") also highly recommended stopping by and checking you out. So I'm here, saying "hi" and letting you know that your hair looks awesome.

Candace said...

You're so freaking cute it makes me want to squeeze your cheeks and make those old Polish grandmother noises. You may recall that I am neither old nor a Polish grandmother.

Anyway, LOVE the black one and I really, really love the stripey one. It's awesome.

Hugs and cat-head-squishes!

abcd said...

And my addition to all the comments ; you have
"Bette Davis Eyes" which totally rock!

You are styling girlfriend.


Nessa said...

I LOVE your hair now -it looks so good on you!!!!!!! But I love your hats too - should make a little of the whole doldrum thing fun!!!!

circe said...

Those hats are hilarious!! I did the wig thing and got it so close to my hair style and color, some people didn't even realize it wasn't mine. That is till I quit wearing it and sported VERY short blonde hair! They freaked then. :)

Also, I grew back curly hair after chemo. Yep, that was interesting, but after a year or two, it returned to being mostly straight with a little wave normalcy.

PS--I E'd you this morning. :)

Udge said...

Hey, I liked the funkophonic. Your oncologist clearly is without coolness.

Andrea said...

I drop in once in a while to check up on you, but definitely had to come by via Susie today! The hats look awesome, but I agree, my favorite is your black Walmart one :) No worries on your surgery next week. You've come through all this fantastically, no reason that should stop now!

WILLIAM said...

Hi Krank.

I'm Thinking about you.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Considering what you're facing, you're really upbeat, Kranki, which is good to see.

This will be over soon, kid. Just keep smiling.

(I'm here from Susie's joint.)

deneen said...

I want the totally funky green stripey hat-make them flinch-that's my motto.

I will be praying that everything goes well. It is going to be all right darlin' and that's the truth!

SassyFemme said...

Well, there are definitely some (ahem) interesting hats there. I love the way your sticky-up hair looks, you've achieved trendy w/o trying to!

abcd said...

Am I the only one who see's and
now has stuck in her head "Bette
Davis Eyes". You have the most beautiful eyes. They are like pools of water :)


SoozieQ said...

I'm with IEatCrayonz, NO DO-RAG?!?! :-)

You're so cute! 25 lbs of chemo weight? Then you must have been TOO thin before, you look great.

You actually had me laughing at loud (more at the expressions you were making than at the actual hats)

Karen said...

Love the hats! And the expressions! And the sticky uppy hairs at the back!

I am here from Susie, but I think I've also seen you at Sharkey's.

Oh, and I got a good word verification:


(How come your blog gets the good ones?)

Cori said...

Susie sent ne. Love the hats, especially the berry one. Think you needed a funky beret for that walk along the Seine in the mist, while sipping an espresso. Or not.

I'll be back for more. {{{hugs}}}

Squirl said...

Not sure which hat I like best as I'm just not a hat person but I like your look best in the first picture.

Momentarily_Distracted said...

I love the striped green one!
The berry one is second fave...but I love the expressions you have while modeling all of them. :oD

snaps79 said...

I love the HAIR! If I could get mine to look like that, I'd be pumped. I have too much natural wave. You look great - glad to see you. :)

Dang Cold.. said...

Hey you.

Much love from Toronto. I'll thinkin' bouch you lots in the coming days. The hats are cute but I'm glad you posted a pic of the babe hiding underneath them. Mercy, mercy me...


whfropera said...


pack of 2 said...

I think yourhair looks great. Love some of the hats too.


August95 said...

Also a fan of the stripes and the berry hat. It's been so wet around here maybe you could get a nice big yellow rain hat.

Susie sent me your way but I already had you in my bookmarks. Nice to meet a local.

eclectic said...

"Gravity resistant"??? HA! I came over to check on you, all ready to fight dragons for you, and end up laughing my ass off. And you wonder why I love you?? BTW, you are beautiful!!! Holy Shit!

eclectic said...



katietoyboy said...

your hats look um ... interesting!! I don't have access to sites as w/ends so I dropped by to wish you the very best of luck for Monday, we all have fingers, toes, eyes etc crossed for you. You will be absolutely fine. Looking forward to hearing about how you passed the next stage with flying colours. Take care

Anonymous said...

Oy! What a great hat fashion show! My mom's hair came in curly after her chemo but I'm kinda likin' your gravity resistant 'do! My teenage daughter has friends who spend alot of time and money to get that kind of look! You're beautiful by the way. I'm thinking of you. Peace.

Circus Kelli said...

Hey beautiful! It's great to "see" you! :) I love all the hats, but my favorite is the bucket hat -- it looks the most like "you".

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I'll keep good thoughts that all goes smoothly.

Susie said...

You know, kranki, (forgive me if someone else has said this), this is such a hysterical post, you could put this whole thing up on ebay and sell these babies. I would bid. Not that I have any money, but, I'd definitely get a couple of them started. It would be fun!

Bucky Four-Eyes said...

I love hats but think I look stupid as hell in 99% of them.
My faves on you, besides your fave bucket hat, of course, are the funkophonic hat (your oncologist clearly started out of extreme jealousy at your funky self), the crack hat (you could SO be Janis Joplin-ish in that), and your Gilligan Hat (makes you look like a spy, because don't all spies wear red hats?).

spoonleg said...

I'm a fan of the white hat from your Mom! SO CUTE! Anyway, you don't need your silly hats anymore because, my GOD, look at your hair! It's growing so FAST! And it looks super cute and stylish all on it's own. Lucky girl.

abcd said...

Good Afternoon,
I am checking out the hats and thinking about which is my favorite. I love the bucket hat,
and I do love the striped hat.

I also think several of these
will be good if you pursue a life
of crime!


Closet Metro said...

The green one is cool, but the hair is the coolest.

you're a fox.

Hippo said...

Your awesomely Haught!
Your Haught in a Hat
You're Haught next to a cat
You're Haught with or without Hair-Oh...Your skin is so fair
I'd wish to have ya in my lair!

Best Wishes for a speedy recovery!

Dr H.O. Potamus -Plays a doctor in Blogland

I am a Milliner's Dream, a woman of many "hats"... said...

Figures the cheapest hat--the one you had all along--would end up being the old stand by.

I _love_ the hair. Very funky...very sexy...very Kranki.


east village idiot said...

This post really made me chuckle. I like the last picture best. You great big beautiful doll you!!!

Your in my thoughts Kranki!

Anonymous said...

Came back tonight to look at your lovely hats again! I hope you are handling the anxiety alright. I'm thinking of you. Peace.

Amanda B. said...

Eeeep! You are adorable! I want to smooch you. (in a mostly platonic manner of course)

I think you should have a hat sale. Auction those beotches off!

Jeannette said...

I love the hair regrowth! It looks awesome -- great style. I too have a stack ofhats purchased and left unworn. I got stuck on the comfort of my Burberry plaid bucket hat. I have it displayed prominently now that I no longer need it. The other hats will have to find their way to the cnacer center for some other lucky lottery winner.

Thinking of you and thinking great, happy thoughts for surgery day.

Von Krankipantzen said...

TRUE_HALCYON-delurk any time you want. The good vibeage is greatly appreciated.

PIXIE LAROUGE-trust me to find the cheap hats are the best after dropping a load on new ones. Typical me. I am hoping to rock some colour in my hair pretty soon.

ALAN-thanks so much. Alan is my dad's name and I thought it was him commenting for a second even though he doesn't know how. I hope you visit again soon.

TWISTEDUTEROUS-thank you! I am self conscious about the double chin. Always have been. It is actually from old surgery opposed to weight know. You are welcome to borrow the hat anytime.

MR. BLOGGERIFIC HIMSELF-word verification can be very cruel. Those are my favourite hats too.

SUSIE-You are sooo sweet! I need a whole new wardrobe to rock the crack hat properly.

CLANDESTINE-my mom got mad when whe saw that photo as she said that it wasn't supposed to be worn that way. That is how I would wear it so I too think it is weird.

PRECISIONGIRL-I dreamt the same thing as a teenager and it wasn't gravity resistent then either. Shame. I do the same thing-get all excited about something and go overboard. I figure it is a sign of a generous spirit.

LEAFGIRL77-thanks. I am fortunate it is more of a do than a don't. I shaved my hair off too but my mom accepted that and helped me do it.

SWLF-NIKKI-you are too kind. I am pretty good at diversions, huh?

CINDY-I think it takes a great deal of flair to carry off a hat and I just wasn't feeling up to it during chemo. And maybe some new wardrobe pieces as well might help.

EFFIE-thanks for the hugs. I am pretty happy the hair turned out alright too.

TWIXIE-uh huh! Uh huh! Working it! My hair is my favourite too.

KALKI-you totally understand. When I bought the hats it was the whole lifestyle I wanted. I guess the lifestyle didn't fit in the box. Such visions...

MRTL-thanks so much. I am pretty lucky about the uppity hairs. Who would have guessed that would happen?

HAPPYANDBLUE2-Hmmmm...I might have to employ my hats for future crushing. Good idea.

LAURA-oh gee! *blush* Thanks.

DIMA-yeah! They do look a little like hats from the 70's. My mom wore those too. I used to think she looked glamorous. I was a fashion slut even then.

IEATCRAYONZ-I forgot to feature the do-rags. I had dozens of cute ones and wore them most of the time. Especially at home.

DOREEN-thanks so much for comming by. De-lurking is always appreciated here.


SWLF-SHOSHIE-wow! I'll take that compliment and run with it. Thanks.

NESSA-thanks! I haven't had my hair this short since highschool. I plan to grow it out long again but might cut it after for fun.

CIRCE-yeah. I was surprised that mine didn't go curly. They told me to expect that. Also red hair regrowth is not uncommon. My hair does have a red tinge now but is far from flaming.

UDGE-I am starting to realise that docs are not about The Cool.

ANDREA-that black hat has been through hell. I dropped it outside of my car in a gutter and it got soaked in the rain so I threw it in the washing machine and it totally came out ok. Not bad.

WILLIAM-thanks so much!

OLDHORSETAILSNAKE-thanks for that, OHTS. I am doing pretty good.

DENEEN-thanks for the vote of confidence!

SASSYFEMME-ahem-you are so right. The hair goodness was a surprise. Makes having unexpected short hair ok.

SWLF-SHOSHIE-my dream is to get laser surgery to correct my vision so I don't have to wear glasses that make my eyes look smaller. I am blushing from your compliment!

SOOZIEQ-I did wear do-rags most often but didn't include them. Looks like I have a new post to do. Stay tuned.

KAREN-thanks for stopping by. I do frequent Sharkey's place as well as Susie's. They are good people.

CORI-thanks for the hugs. And I like your vision A LOT!

SQUIRL-I love making goofy faces.

MOMENTARILY_DISTRACTED-when deeply shamed with my headwear I tend to goof off.

HOMEDETENTIONLADY-thanks! It is working now. Stay tuned to what it will do in the coming weeks. I hope it doesn't stand up like this when it is a foot long!

DANG COLD-HEY!!! You are so sweet. Good to see you again.

WHFROPERA-whatever do you mean? ;-)

PACK OF 2-SHELLY-thanks so much! :-)

AUGUST95-that's right! You are local! Cool!

ECLECTIC-*serious blush*-seriously thanks!

KATIETOYBOY-thanks for all the good wishes. I'll be posting as soon as I get home.

TRACI-thanks so much for everything. I hope your mom is continuing to kick cancer's ass.

CIRCUS KELLI-I really appreciate the good thoughts and prayers. Thanks.

SUSIE-I might sell them on eBay with proceeds going to Breast Cancer research. I'll let you know.

BUCKY FOUR-EYES-hmmm... That is some serious disguising going on. I might have to try some other accessories to plump up those identities a little.

SPOONLEG-you know what? My doc said it woudl happen like this. All of a sudden it would grow like hot stink. And he was right.

SWLF-NIKKI-those two are ones I like too. But the crack hat is the ultimate disguise.

CLOSET METRO-oh gee. Thanks. *blush again*

HIPPO-that was awesome! OMG!

MILLINER'S DREAM-thanks!!!! that is so typical of me.

EASTY-OH MAN! My head is getting HUGE! All these compliments...

TRACI-I have had lots of phone calls today to take my mind off things. Friends calling to support me. Isn't that great?

AMANDA B-you are soo right. Proceeds going to Breast Cancer. Smooches right back at ya!

Von Krankipantzen said...

JEANNETTE-you snuck in there while I was commenting. That is a good idea donating them to a cancer centre. I'll look into that. Thanks for all the well wishes.

Nilbo said...

As always, late to the party ... but as someone who grew out of his hair the natural way, I am no stranger to hats. I usually rock the baseball cap, because anything else looks goofy on me.

I'm really digging the Amish bonnet from your Mom. Got a lil of that Rachel from Witness thing goin on. "What is this, bringing the gun of the hand into my house?"

I'm sure you know you have a legion of people behind you in this adventure, darlin. I love that CCS ad, where the growing group of peope weilding slings are facing the shadow of a giant. That's how this feels. You're forced to be David, but you have to know we got your back.

fueltank said...

Hey Hatsy - great yakking wit ya last night. As I said, you look fucking beautiful! Like a hat firecracker!

And some day I will tell you about the fall out from kicking that guy out of the building... turns out racism is the ONLY reason I kicked out a guy who wouldn't tell me who he was, why he was standing in the third floor hallway or who he was here to visit... yes, the person he was here to see knocked on my door kinda late last night.

Young & Sexy In This Atmosphere

Ern said...

This post had me laughing and laughing! Not so much about the hats--I think you sold some of them a bit short--but about your writing. Especially the red one. With the non-coat and the non-dogs. Hee! And your hair is coming in quite nicely. Get a little more length and I'm sure those rebels will lay down.

lawbrat said...

Ya know, I often dont comment when there are MANY comments, but Susies post reminded me- who cares if there is 10 or 62? They all count!

I absolutely LOVE this post. Seeing all the hats, various fantasies associated with each one, (the cashmire one- my personal favorite!)

You seem SO fun. You're sence of humor is just fantastic.

Oddly enough, even before Susies post, you've been in my thoughts alot. I actually lay down for bed and think of you, how you're doing, what you're going through. My hat is off to you. Courageous and brave are words that come to mind.

lawbrat said...

The first thing I wanted to post was how beautiful you are!! Just a georgous woman. Hat or no hat.

Sheryle said...

Your hair looks very soft. I know women whose hair came back in totally differently than it was before and usually silky soft. It's like a little gift from God.

Sharkey said...

I read this post the day you put it up, but didn't have time to comment. I like the green stripey one--for some reason, I'm really into green right now.

And you look beautiful in every pic. Your hair's looking great!

JessicaRabbit said...

I still love your glasses. You sexy thang you.

Random and Odd said...

You're beautiful no matter what you have or DON'T have on your head.

Von Krankipantzen said...

NILBO-better late than never! I know that commercial well and it absolutely perfectly represents what fighting cancer is all about. You are never alone. You guys have been so great to me.

FUELTANK-it was great talking to you too. I can't wait to hear about the after effects of your managerial duty. Oh man! What a drag. I hope you are ok.

ERN-I am so happy you got a laugh about it. I sure did too. I'll totally post more photos of my hair as it goes through its next transformation.

LAWBRAT-I am really glad you did comment. I read them all! You are so sweet. I always blows my mind that somebody might think that I am brave through all this. I am so not. Or maybe it is that everybody is brave through this sort of thing. I REALLY appreciate all your good thoughts.

SHERYLE-it is very much a gift from God. My hair feels much softer than it was and is much darker too. I love touching my own head.

SHARKEY-thanks so much. I love green too. So springy. Did your hair grow in very different?

JESSICA RABBIT-*blush* thanks. these glasses are about 7 years old and I still love them.

RANDOM AND ODD-thanks so much. I like the thought of that a lot. ;-)

Amy said...

You are totally rocking that short, sexah hair and sharp jazz-bar glasses, Kranki.

Your hat descriptions are hilarious. I do that too, create a whole outfit, persona, life, for myself out of one accessory.