The Post Where It Is Confirmed That I Am A Total Loser

FIRST!

Well, first post of 2006.

I have traveled to many of your blogs over the last couple days to find out how everybody spent New Years Eve. While much naughtiness was had by many (I am looking at you Spoonie and Nessa) I was glad to see that I was not alone in my very mellow and quiet night.

You see, I have had great eves of New Years celebrations as well as really miserable ones in the past. The misery quotient increased for me as I stopped drinking Ze Booze (I sucked at tipping the bottle and never did it much anyway) and was then, while painfully sober, surrounded by those who were swimming in it. Just not my thing. I can remember one year after a particularly great night taking advantage of free transit in my town being surrounded by not one, not two, but SEVERAL chicks on the bus boo-hooing into the collars of their friends and escorts. The Illusion Of Perpetual And Never Ending Fun On New Years Eve can be hard to maintain over the course of an evening, that much I know. No, I have never cried but I can understand why some would. Such high expectations…very taxing on the psyche.

As my friends got married off and had kids and thus the Party Savages in my circle of friends diminished, around the time I eliminated alcohol from my diet no less, I decided that the whole celebration was overrated. Probably a decision greatly influenced by my pretty much permanent single status and a dire lack of fun things to do as a single gal around the holidays. I mean how many times can a girl get all gussied up only to have no one to kiss as the clock strikes midnight? Sad and not something one might admit to but, hell, a lot of us have been there, no? In protest of the whole emotionally charged evening I started my now famous (in my own mind) Annual New Year’s Eve Boycott.

In case you are ever tempted to hold one of these celebrations of your own here is what you need:

1. Warm blanket on comfy couch. Sleeping dog or cat or combination thereof draped charmingly over legs.
2. Flannel pajamas or stained sweat suit.
3. Cheesy DVDs.
4. An indecent amount of take-out sushi. Seriously, like, enough for several people.
5. Chocolate or dessert type item.
6. Your own self.

Eat, lounge, watch bad DVDs and, for it to be a truly successful night, fall asleep on the couch well before midnight.

Oh yeah.

Pablo, one of my remaining few Party Savage friends did his first Boycott this year and enjoyed it heartily. He did mix it up a little by having a warm body next to him that was not a furry animal. Well, technically anyway. And I think nudity was involved. Maybe next year he’ll follow ALL the rules. Slut!

This year a mighty wrench was thrown into my Boycott plan. Almost immediately after arriving home with my truck load of sushi I got a fever and some pretty serious intestinal distress. So I rang in the New Year with a tummy bug while my neighbours noshed on my sushi. I was just happy it wasn’t wasted. Now that would have been a tragic way to start the year. So I did have my Pjs on and was flaked on the couch and was well in bed by midnight and thus still consider the evening a success.

However I am a little hurt that nobody drunk dialed me.

Now let’s talk about resolutions. A few years ago while at a New Year’s Eve party (which sucked) I was joking with some acquaintances about making these pledges and we all got pretty snarky about the whole thing. One person said she was going to try to be meaner to people that year and another guy said he was going to start smoking. I decided that I was going to go up a dress size. Well. Be careful of what you are snide about as after being at the same weight for ages I suddenly put on several pounds and did indeed need a whole new wardrobe. Smartass. I have wondered if those other people had similar misfortune. I have never really done resolutions since. One does not like to be mocked by the universe once let alone twice.

I do have some things I’d like to get accomplished this year and while I refuse to call them resolutions I am just going to tell you what they are and be done with it.

1. Get past this cancer bullshit and start to think about life again without it being in that particular context. Everything I have done recently has revolved around breast cancer. NO MO’! Once my surgeries are over this spring I will be starting to work on getting my business up and running by Christmas.

2. Get more active and get into decent shape physically and mentally. I know that dealing with cancer can be often called a fight but, honestly, I did most of my fighting horizontally and as a result am still quite weak and fatigued. And fat. I believe a strong mind and body will increase my chances of never having to deal with cancer again.

There you go. Bring it ON! 2006

So tonight I am sitting at my computer marinating in the greatness that is Henry Rollins’ (my boyfriend, don’t forget) radio show, Harmony In My Head, while I type out this post. He is on this radio station every Tuesday night from 8-10 pm pacific time. The fact that this is available to the broadband masses via the internet thrills me to no end. My city has absolutely deplorable radio stations so this is one of the few ways I can hear excellent oldies (punk, that is) as well as new stuff and weird stuff and rare stuff. It is a real mix. I look forward to it all week.