Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Meaningless Mumblings of a Bored Person

So I am going to ‘fess up. Despite my plan to not watch any new TV shows thereby allowing the shows I do watch to slowly be cancelled thereby decreasing my TV watching thereby weaning me from TV entirely without any dangerous withdrawal symptoms I seem to be zoned out in front of the tube more than ever. Curioser and curioser. Then on top of this startling realization that goes against the laws of nature the ‘Moron Factor’ of my TV palate has increased as well. So I cannot even claim that the shows I do watch are redeemed by being educational. Unless you consider “Beauty and The Geek” fodder for the brain. What am I thinking?!? Oh wait! I’m NOT!

While maybe my time is not always spent on achieving higher knowledge I still manage to wonder about a lot of what I see while worshipping my glowing idol.

  1. The Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell thing. Who thinks The Donald is coming across as a very uptight judgmental ass? I expect mockery and derision from Rosie as she is a very outspoken comedian and that is her job. I am shocked and horrified to hear such terrible personal attacks from The Talking Dollar Sign. Jay Leno and David Letterman spout off about The Trumpinator all the time as they do many other public figures without retaliation so why attack Rosie in such a nasty and ugly way? I can only think that she hit a major nerve. I wonder if it was the financial stuff or the moral compass observations. And then Mr. Hair goes and betrays Barbara Wawa’s confidence and drags her into the whole thing and compromises her work relationships and credibility. If I said something to a friend in confidence (IE-gossiping) I would be very pissed to hear it repeated on Entertainment Tonight. And if I never said those things to that friend in the first place that means that friend is a dirty filthy liar. Not a very pretty situation anyway you look at it. So, MC Moneybags, if you read this blog, you did not make yourself look any better being such a bitch. You came off as a very petty man. Yoshi wants to poop in your shoe.

  1. Why is it that poker players are allowed to wear sunglasses during a professional poker tournament? If you give away your hand by the furtive or gloating look in your eyes then you are not a very good poker player in the first place. Isn’t this the whole point? Being able to bluff? This should not be allowed. It is cheating and looks stupid too.

  1. Does anybody think it is funny (not the haha kind) that there is a media blitz going on about the media blitz surrounding Prince William’s girlfriend, Kate Middleton? There are shows and stories about shows and stories. Isn’t there some law of the universe where that should cancel out the whole shebang thereby leaving the poor girl alone? How bizarre that the media is comparing this whole situation to the media scrutiny of Princess Diana and how the media contributed to her death. Now that is some kind of conflict of interest.

  1. Did anybody watch The Golden Globes last night? That is 3 hours we can never get back. Soooooo boring. Why do the winners go on and on thanking everybody including the exterminator they had in last week spraying their basement? So little humour. So little graciousness. It is just as many generally unknown names as they can possibly fit into their allotted time rambled off in a semi-apologetic and breathless manner. I was literally bitter and angry by the end. A bikini wax would have been more entertaining.

So there you go. Burning questions and outraged observations from a reluctant TV addict who doesn’t even watch The Apprentice, The View, Jay Leno, David Letterman, any type of poker tournament, any shows about royalty, and (except for last night) any sort of award show in general but still manages to hear all about the insidious subject matter above and form an opinion about it.


elizabeth said...

i, too, got sucked into beauty and the geek, despite resolving to not watch any more reality tv (because top chef and project runway are enough). blah.

happy and blue 2 said...

I think Rosie and Donald are just doing this as a publicity stunt.

Poker players should have to play in tournaments nude. Not that I want to watch nude poker but it would take bluffing to a new level. And hiding an exciting hand would be harder too. It could give rise to such statements as "Is that an ace in your hand or are you just glad to see me." ha,ha..

I don't know anything about Kate Middleton. But if she is marrying into the Royal family she is obviously not very bright. She really should look at the Royals family album before she gets involved with William. Their kids will look atrocious..

I didn't watch the Golden Globe awards. But I would like to thank the lady that lives next door to me for shoveling her sidewalk and driveway. And for not driving across my lawn all winter like the previous neighbors did..

Sharkey said...

I'm with ya on the Donald thing. He may have a lot of money, but that doesn't make him high-class.

I don't watch the entertainment shows too often, but what I hate about them is how it seems like the entire show is spent telling me what's going to be on next. "After the break, learn which star was spotted buying tampons at CVS." They spend 22 of the show's 23 minutes saying things like that.

hemlock said...

You know, I used to watch the Golden Globes and Oscars like crazy. Now? I tune in to watch what people are wearing, then promptly turn it off because I have better things to do with my time.

I agree with your sunglasses comment too. How professional are they?

It's a good thing you're not actually watching this stuff. That could really be a recipe for disaster. Just keep learning through the grapevine! ;)

Susie said...

I ALMOST wanted to write a post on the Donald/Rosie thing. You know that Rosie is my homie, since she stooped to comment on my blog, and I am nothing if not loyal. I will spout off here, instead, though. I used to watch the Apprentice. The first season or two, I really got into it. After the Donald demonstrated what a HUGE ASS he is, I announced to my household, "The Apprentice will not be viewed on any television in this house; and that is non-negotiable!" See? That's how disgusted I am by his behavior. He's a petty, pathological, fat-phobic, disloyal (your point about what he did to his "friend" Barbara) ASS. He keeps saying, "People don't like Rosie..." He's crazy. People ADORED Rosie when she was on TV full-time. Her magazine was doing great until the new publishers screwed her and wouldn't let her do it her way; the View (I don't watch but I hear things) has come back to life since Rosie came on it. The guy is nuts.
And what really bugs me is the whole feud, as I understand it, is about his misunderstanding what Rosie was saying. He thinks that Rosie was criticizing his giving the beauty pageant kid a second chance. That wasn't it at all; Rosie was commenting on the absurdity that Trump would sit in judgment of someone's morality. I am quite sure she had no problem with the girl being given a second chance. It was Trump's self-righteous, holier-than-thou stance that she was ridiculing.
Not that I let this whole thing bug me or anything.

Babs said...

Ugh. I too find TV riduculous. And too expensive. For what? Nothing's very creative anymore. I've been watching the CSI (just Miami & original, never got into the New York) and I spot a trend? LOL I also LOVE The Closer on TNT...again, should my hubby be nervous? As far as reality shows, I used to watch Survivor, but it's same ole, same ole and Amazing Race...ditto. I watched some of the Apprentice a few years back, but it was ridiculous too. And don't get me started on Donald the Ass. I'm sick of looking at him and now he's at it again getting a star on the walk of fame and dissing Rosie. ASS. Everyone knows all you do to get on the walk of fame is pay like $5,000 to the chamber of commerce. It's not an honor anymore. And when they put him in the mix, well, even less of an honor. He's supposed to be on Ellen today, I'm bummed that I won't see it, even just for a second, because that blowhard has been dissing Rosie's lifestyle - uh has anyone told him Ellen's got a girlfriend? Feed Yoshi extra Tuna.

mrtl said...

You can't escape it.

angela marie said...

OK. I totally agree with every point you make. Except for giving up TV. I cannot do that. Sorry.


Now, I watched the very first Beauty and the Geek. I was impressed that it seemed to be more than mean chicks picking on weird guys. I actually liked it. Now I have no idea when it is on...someone help me.

Cranky_Monkey said...

I actually tried canceling my cable in order to force myself to stop watching tv. They came and took the box but never actually shut it off. Now I get free cable, it’s even worse than before. I feel I need to watch it as much as possible since it might go away at anytime.

MrsDoF said...

Complete agreement here.

We haven't had cable since we've been married. Many good shows are available on dvd now anyway.
Just cruising the Internets has given me way more information about Rosie and Donald than I ever wanted to know.
It must be the publicity angle.

I do read Rosie's blog because she visited Susie's blog that one time. Plus--the pictures of her children and wife are gorgeous! and she does such cool things like swim with dolphins and show backstage on Broadway.

Wherever Yoshi steps becomes sacred ground, so don't be too generous with her honors.

JP said...

It drives me nuts that the Hollywood crowd get so much attention that they start to think they have true "relavance" in everything they do, think, and say. You are freakin' actors!! I think the Donald/Rosie thing was contrived for ratings. I doubt it is very real. I stopped watching the award shows a while back because I got tired of the people being asked, "And who are you wearing?" I wish someone would say, I'm wearing Norstrom Rack, isn't it fantabulous!!!

kalki said...

I am so with you on #1. Totally. And #3 never occurred to me, but now that you mention it, I do find it very meta-media. As for the Globes, they were heinous. As always. Except, of course, for STUD STAMOS.