Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Thursday, January 04, 2007

I Am Speechless

I am still feeling rather green from my new happy drugs so I am going to post a list. There are many paths along which people find their way to my blog. Here are some searches that lead people to me. Clearly there are some odd people out there and I am the worst offender since my blog is the only common denominator…

-supernatural sized boobs

-giant Toblerone asshole

-head smells like cheese

-swimming pool tampon

-Ativan for aggressive Siamese cats

-chemo drunk

-burning smell from condom

-homemade remedies for drying out limp (sic) nodes

-Yoshi with a penis

-stories of my mom said to touch her boobs

-perky tatas on flickr

-cat shit odour recipe soda

-how to tie sumo hair

-dad poos

-I think my cat is partially constipated

-my cat was eaten

-Wonder Woman only uses her farts

-Andie Macdowel nekkid

-butch shoes comfy

-enema fantasy

-God cured my panic attacks

-dominatrix beatings

-cleaning cat pee off leather jackets

-crabby girlfriend tips

-Von Stinky

And the most common search leading to my blog….

-cat crush video

Unfortunatley I don’t think these folks are looking for video of me gently squeezing Yoshi’s melon but actual footage where a cat is crushed and killed. YOU SICK FUCKERS!!!

As for the rest of you, I hope you found what you were looking for.


Madame D said...

I think that "Giant Toblerone Asshole" is my new favorite insult.

mrtl said...

Von Stinky - hee

LadyBug said...

Oh. Oh MY.

hemlock said...

These are always so fun.

I think it one's head smells like cheese, they should probably seek help.

Happy 2007 Kranki!

Circe said...

I always end up crying with laughter when you do a post like this and today is no exception. Let me see if I can pick a favorite...hmm.....I'm so torn between "I think my cat is partially constipated" and "giant Toblerone asshole."

We need to do a post like that every so often. :)


Marit said...

I think you need a new masthead:
Giant Toblerone Asshole.

Bill said...

I must admit your list beats my "man says baa at essex town council meetings"

Thank goodness.

kalki said...

I am in awe of anyone who can go at it such that the condom starts to burn....damn.

But Yoshi with a penis? Shit ain't right.

Squirl said...

I must have a boring-link site. Most people find me by misspelling squirrel.

The whole list was good. But I'm really glad I didn't read it at work. I write lol, but usually that means I smiled or chuckled a little. But burning smell from condom caused me to guffaw.

And Kalki's right, Yoshi with a penis just ain't right.

Bucky Four-Eyes said...

"Wonder Woman only uses her farts"

Only uses them for WHAT? Don't leave us hanging!

john boy said...

Too funny! I completely lost it on a few of those! I obviously need to expand my blogging topics.

debutaunt said...

Oh man, I haven't done one of those in a long time. Yours are by far the most intersting I've read in a long time. I always just get weird ones like "think granny sex."

Just checkin in with you. I'm way behind...