Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

A Glimmer

Going to the Cancer Clinic everyday I get to see some sad things. I see people in wheelchairs or on stretchers. I see very sick people all the time. Today I saw something that completely broke my heart. In fact I had a little boo hoo in my car afterwards.

I saw a young woman sitting in the radiation waiting room wearing a hospital gown. She had the same very short hair as I do which leads me to believe she had just gone through chemo. She looked to be in her mid twenties. And she was holding a tiny baby.

19 comments:

Dima said...

Aw, that's so sad. I hope they both get better. I hope everyone gets better.

Candace said...

Aw, Kranks. I always had that feeling after being at the Children's Hospital. There I was, with my kid who was perfect, aside from some behavioral and slight developmental issues, and there were bald kids who obviously had cancer, or kids with missing limbs.

It all sucks. No one should have to be sick.

happyandblue2 said...

Wow. That is sad. Want a hug..

snaps79 said...

See, that's where 'everything happens for a reason' just doesn't make sense to me. Same with your situation. I don't get it.

Squirl said...

So many sad things. So glad to see you're close to done with your treatments anyway.

Hänni said...

That is really sad.

Susie said...

HEY! I say it's not all sad. It's sad, and it's happy. There was love in that snapshot you described. And hope. And a future. That's not sad. That's not to say it didn't warrant a good cry, because it sure as hell did. Few things in life are all one thing or another. We're all pretty much always mixed. Hugs. Looking forward to that light at the end of your tunnel. (NOT to be confused with "go toward the light." None of that! Just bright, sunshiney days ahead. Uhoh, I feel a song coming on, "I can see clearly now, the rain has gone...")

SassyFemme said...

Oh God, no words to even describe the feelings that brings up. I would have cried, too.

Dang Cold.. said...

I'm sitting next to you right now, Kranki baby and I'm giving you a kiss on a the cheek.

And now I'm handing you some of my pretzels

Hang in there sweetie. I'm thinking she'll turn out fine no matter what.

Just like you.

dc

Sharkey said...

Yeah, what Susie said about the love and the mix of bad and good. (I can't say it as well as she did--obviously.)

Von Krankipantzen said...

dima-it was just so wrong to see a little baby in the cancer ward like that.

misfit-I can't imagine how heart wrenching it would be to have cancer and to have a little child. So frightening. But even worse is to have a kid with cancer. Or any serious disease. The universe makes no sense to me sometimes.

happyandblue2-hugs are always appreciated here at Krankiland.

homedetentiongal-I have opted out of that 'everything happens for a reason' camp and now subscibe to the 'life will be shitty to everybody at some point and it is all about doing the best you can when things are rough' philosophy. You can't control a lot of the crap that comes your way but you can control your attitude. I am a bit of a control freak. Can you tell?

squirl-I will no longer have to see the sad stuff everyday now. I could use a break from it, I have to admit.

hanni-even the radiotherapists were sad too.

susie-you are so right. One of the radiotherapists said that this woman had lots to live for and that was healthy. The baby was sooo sweet (and I am not a baby fan!) but all I could think of was that being a new mom is hard enough and that this time should be all about the baby. Instead memories of this time will be marred by the cancer treatment and fear. It was just so bittersweet and poignant. I just wished soooo much she didn't have to go through this.

sassyfemme-I told my mom and she cried. It just made everything I feel about my situation that much more intense. The baby just brought it all up. The fears and the unfainrness of it all.

dang cold-hmmmmm, pretzels. And thanks for the kiss too. I really hope she will be ok. That baby needs a mamma.

sharkey-I know you know what this is like. The sadness and the beauty of it all mixed together.

Nessa said...

she has something to fight for - and you know she is not alone - like you, she is loved and will beat whatever it is for that love. I cried too.

hemlock said...

WOW. I agree with Nessa though...she has something to fight for.

Still sad though.

wordgirl said...

I knew someone just like that woman. It just sucks, sucks, sucks.

Susie said...

kranki, the woman and baby you saw got me thinking of a two women I know who were told that to become pregnant would accelerate the types of cancer they had. They both wanted a child. One decided not to become pregnant, the other did, and so far, so good. I think both were judged by some. I like your philosophy, "the 'life will be shitty to everybody at some point and it is all about doing the best you can when things are rough' philosophy. You can't control a lot of the crap that comes your way but you can control your attitude." I say there's nothing wrong with being a "control freak" as long as we direct our freakiness toward things we have some chance of controlling. Like our attitude. Your attitude is an inspiration to everybody, and I believe, really good medicine for you.

eclectic said...

Life really will be shitty to absolutely everyone at one time or another, but it's how we deal with the shit that makes the difference. I love your compassion, and your strength, and your beautiful heart. So glad this is almost over for you, but grateful for the reminder that someone, somewhere is always up against it, and compassion goes a long way. {{hug}}

happyandblue2 said...

It's Wednesday so your last radiation treatment is done. Wooohooo..

Ern said...

You, and your strength and sharing, and all the people who come here are so inspiring to me.

LadyBug said...

Hugs to you today, Kranki.