Well, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and for me just another one as a single gal to add to an embarrassingly long list of the same. I am lucky in that I have a great dad who is my Valentine as well as a couple honorary boyfriends (the fabulous gay men in my life) who make me feel pretty fantastic on the regular. I also have an unusual interspecies-ish platonic lesbian relationship with my cat to celebrate. So it is not a total waste of a day. However, I wouldn’t mind a simple diamond now and then to feel like Numero Uno as well as the opportunity to put on some silky lingerie to make that man in my life feel special. Or sick to his stomach. Whatever.
I figure you can be sick and bitter about your single status or choose to celebrate the little things that the single life has to offer. Here is a small list of activities you can do to bathe in your single status glory-
1. Sleep right in the middle of your bed. Eschew “sides” and what they represent. That big boy is all yours for the night so reap the space benefits.
2. Drink the milk/juice/soft drink right out of the container. Eat out of the containers too. Double dip. Back wash. It is all about you, baby.
3. Fart out loud and don’t apologise. I am not going to admit to this as I don’t want to be single forever.
4. Take a long shower and use up all the hot water.
5. Leave the cap off the toothpaste, leave the toilet seat up and leave hairs on the soap. If you are single you probably do this already. But really relish it tomorrow. If you are hooked up and do this then you are sure to be single by next Valentine’s Day.
6. Watch all the TV shows you like and listen to all the CDs you like. Hog the remote. You don’t have to compromise. When you are with a special someone you will miss the little things like these. Like dancing to Britney Spears in the nude, for instance.
7. Order in a pizza just the way you like it. Enjoy the fact that you don’t have to spend 20 minutes picking the green peppers off.
8. Scratch whenever you want WHERE EVER you want.
9. Put a chocolate éclair in the fridge before you go to work and be smug all day in the knowledge that it will still be there for you when you get home. This is not for those who have room-mates as we all know they will fuck you over that way.
10. Be selfish in bed.
So what do you have planned?