I was visiting at Scotty Gee’s blog today and he was telling stories about his recent dating situation. He says things are really bad. I soooo relate Mr. Scottyhotpants. I have to admit I gave up on dating years ago. Like Scotty, I prefer to sort of know the person in a friendship way before moving on to dating. I have never been too keen on the idea of blind dates or dating type services. I just want it to happen naturally. How naive, I know. You would think that working in the film industry I would be exposed to a large dating pool of eligible men. Not so much and the few single guys I met were not interested in me. Here is the type of guy who asked me out from the film world:
1. Married men.
2. Men over the age of 55
3. Crazy ‘creative types’ who think the sun shines out of their asses. IE: Actors
4. A combination of the above
I have a hard and fast rule about dating married men. That would be NO! I don’t date men who have kids my age. That is just creepy. And I don’t date men who I have to fight for space at the mirror. No, you cannot borrow my bronzer…
Not to mention that I worked in the costume department and if I was not actually on the set I was surrounded by women. Lots of women. Or gay men.
I once went out with a very talented editor who was smart, funny, good looking and gainfully employed. What is the problem? He was totally nuts. He honestly thought he was God’s gift to the universe and that is really hard to be around. For instance, I warned him about my cat Yoshi and how she does not like to be petted by strangers. So he goes on and on how he is so special and that all animals love him and so would my cat. I reiterated how it was really not a good idea for him to touch her. He shrugged off my warning and tried to pet her. She hissed at him and gave him a swipe. So what does he do? He gets mad and insults her by saying she is about as smart as a bag of hammers. This is no way to capture my heart. This is my baby he is talking about. So when I get pissed I can get a bit mouthy. What was my reply? “The sooner you realise this the better off you will be. This cat’s hind leg is one thousand times more important to me than you are. I thought you should know.” He was totally insulted and the relationship, if you could call it that, didn’t go on much longer. I was totally fine with that and so was Yoshi.
It is hard enough to try and find somebody who is ok with dating a person with an anxiety disorder. I can totally understand that. I absolutely have limitations that can make being around me a little strange. Not to mention the fact that I don’t drink or do drugs. That has been a problem for guys before. But now I wonder what it will be like to go out into the single world again as a person who has had breast cancer as well. I will have some pretty serious scars. Mentally and physically. I expect my headspace might be different from what it was. How could it not be? My perception of my life and my body has had to drastically change. I also expect to have a double mastectomy in the near future and even with reconstruction my “fun sacks” are not going to be entirely fun. They are not going to be ‘perfect’ and I don’t know exactly how I am going to feel about them. They might even look a bit scary. I don’t know. But boobies are important to a lot of guys. Too important. Just look at all the ladies getting implants. The next guy in my life is going to have to be very understanding about what has happened to me.
He is also going to have to be an ass man.