Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Friday, November 04, 2005

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday-Postponed

Am feeling better about life in general today and I think all your rockin’ comments lifted my funk. Thanks so much. You guys are so good to me.

Crush Your Cat's Head Friday is postponed as Asshole Blogger won't post any photos. Don't know why...

With my daily radiation I am at The Cancer Clinic more than ever. Even during chemo I was only there maybe once every 2-3 weeks and that was waaay up on the chemo ward. The radiation area is right next to the main area where everybody goes to meet up with their doctors so I get to see a lot of people going to and from their appointments. Most of the patients at the clinic are elderly but occasionally I see younger people there. Mostly they are regular looking folks so I am never sure if they are cancer patients or support people along for the ride. When I see a young person all bald or with the tell tale buzz cut there is usually a smile of mutual recognition between us. Look at us and our bald heads kind of smiles. Occasionally I notice older folks looking at me with sympathy. I know I look younger than my 36 years so I imagine I might shock people sometimes. They often give me what I call a ‘Stay Strong’ smile, which I appreciate.

Yesterday I saw a couple standing by the appointment reception desk. They were just gorgeous. The guys looked like a famous sports figure or something. Blonde and handsome and strong looking. Powerful and vibrant. His wife/girlfriend was blonde as well and totally gorgeous. Like cheerleader gorgeous with curls and perfect teeth. They were dressed in very nice and stylish expensive clothes. They appeared successful and young and well off. They also looked shit scared and totally lost. I can well imagine what they were feeling. I guessed that one of them had recently been diagnosed with some sort of cancer and that this was their first appointment with the oncologist to find out what their options were. We have all had that first day at The Clinic, after all. I don’t know this for sure but you get to know the “newbies” from the “old hands’ by the way they walk the halls and by how relaxed they are in the waiting rooms. The Newbies usually sit there and stare off in the distance. Or fidget a lot. Or look terrified. Old Hands laugh with their support buddy or gossip over the magazines or help themselves to water from the cooler or chat with the nurses or eat their lunch brought from home.

So this gorgeous couple was just standing there looking lost and scared. It occurred to me that with that kind of beauty that it was possible these two had lead a wonderful and charmed life up until then. Possibly things had come relatively easily to them. I don’t know but they made me wonder. Maybe their good looks have got them out of difficult situations and saved them from a lot of unpleasantness. Well, not this time my little grasshoppers. It sucks for everybody.


stampydurst said...

Well VKP, as messaged earlier, i watched my mom go through radiation for her breast cancer. She was limited to a lump ax with rad, it was tamoxifen sensitive. We've held our breath for years...she's six years out and ok. If you ever have to go on tamoxifen...if they try to tell you it doesn't make you gain weight, they lie. She was under 50 when she was diagnosed, but had been told she had "lumpy" breast tissue prior to that and been released without worry. I'm so flat, i cannot even imagine how a mammogram could be performed. Either way, she's disease free at this point. However, I always told her that if she needed chemok we'd match wigs. Therefore, I suggest that you still crush yoshi's head onfriday, but we all (you included) post wig-me-out photos on Saturday. You don't have a butch haircut, you have the perfect chance to see how you look as a platinum blonde. And the internet would like to ride your coattails....

JessicaRabbit said...

I want to come cover you in kisses. Purple lipstick kisses all over your head, you can go to radiation with them on you.

Then everyone will know your loved.

And have freaks for friends.

Ern said...

I'm glad your funk has lifted a bit. I'm sure it won't be the last one, but you'll kick funks in the ass one after another.

whfropera said...

Thanks for the birthday wishes!
You KNOW I Played that damn thing over and over - every time I started it, Linus would pick his head up and stare at the monitor!
And yes, Blogger is an offical suck-a-thon.

Susie said...

Ern must be stealing lyrics from some 70s funk band: kick the funk in the ass, kick the funk in the ass!

This mofo you have is truly an equalizer. Doesn't matter how pretty, how smart, how much money, how many people love you -- fear and suffering feel pretty much the same for everyone, I think. And I don't know for sure, but I would imagine that while there is some comfort in knowing there are others in the same boat, and others who are doing well, there is also a way in which it's a very lonely road to walk. I'm glad you're on here blogging, so we can at least tag along sometimes.

snaps79 said...

Is Susie referencing, "tear the roof off the motha, tear the roof off the motha sucka"? Does Susie WANT THE FUNK?

Krank, you'll have to keep us posted on the new characters in your Cancerfication story. Sounds interesting.

Hänni said...

This is very poignant cranky and certainly makes me think about my own life - how I treat people, how I battle with my own body and fear of disease over taking it (a big reason I use a salt crystal for deodorant and do other weird things) and how my little traumas are really just that - small stuff - inconsequentials.

Your humor and grace inspire me. So thank you for that.

PS I think Stampydurst has a great idea with adding wig-out to your weekly posting routine (but still keeping crush your cat's head Friday of course, because we love yoshi)

Closet Metro said...

Glad you showed the funk who the Boss was. Funk off, funk! Beat it! Just beat it. Heee-heeee!

(I sincerely apologize for briefly channeling Michael Jackson. No children were harmed during said channeling.)

I'm with Stampydurst - rock the wigs. I have this incredible urge to go find you a baseball hat with a pony tail hanging on the back of it.

eclectic said...

Cancer doesn't respect anyone or anything. But I'm glad you are kicking it in the balls today, and even letting us help a little. If you see Barbie and Ken again, it'd be an interesting little social study, eh?

mrtl said...

Not the one I had in mind, but I couldn't find it...

"Human beings cling to their delicious tyrannies and to their exquisite nonsense, till death stares them in the face." ~Sydney Smith

Squirl said...

No one can lead a totally charmed life. I'm not laughing at that couple at all. They must really be having a hard time coping with reality.

In the meantime, I'm glad you've kicked the funk in the ass. Any time you want us to be silly/encouraging/there for you please let us know.

My word verification is doing martial arts on your funk:

Dima said...

This goes to show you that life doesn't give a damn how much money you have or how beautiful you look, we're all in some sense equal. But you did say something that bothered me - "cheerleader gorgeous with curls and perfect teeth" - I am sure there's a toothless cheerleader somewhere out there, and she does not appreciate that that comment :)

Keep on kicking ass! Did you feel that? That was a huge HUG I just gave you!

Divine Calm said...

Appearances are deceiving as the good ol' saying goes. A monster hug to you, m'dear.

Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Dima - "toothless cheerleader" - HA! :)

We are all the same in the beady-eyed gaze of a fucker like cancer. But you know you'll always have this cast of idiots behind you.

Closet Metro said...

I had to read Mrtl's quote three times before I read "delicious tyrannies" instead of "delicious trannies."

Fine difference between tyrannies and trannies. Being "delicious" is an entire other matter all together.

spoonleg said...

way to go, krank. you are so exceptionally strong. you amaze me each and every day! lots of blove from me and the oscmeister.

SassyFemme said...

Just sending you big hugs!!!

Amanda B. said...

I just wish it wasn't suckin' for you. I am trying to invent a magic "fuck off cancer" wand. I shall be successful!

I wish...

east village idiot said...

Hey Kranki

This is quite a path you're on. I read your post a few times. You sound tired on the inside. What are your days like?
If you lived in NYC I would force you to
tell me where you lived so I could stop by and say hi.

I shared your cat halloween pictures with my son Ben and he was so delighted and amazed at your costume talent - me too lady!

love, Easty

Von Krankipantzen said...

stampyd-so glad your mom is doing well and kicking ass. I would love to do a wig day. But I don't have any wigs. But I could do head scarf day or something.

jessica r-I have THE BEST freaks for friends.

ern-the funks make me appreciate the good days even more.

whfropera-so glad you and Linus liked it. I didn't know it was his birthday too. How cool is that.

susie-you are so right. It can be very lonely and while you take comfort that others share the ick you wish that nobody had to deal with it EVER.

hdl-I see a lot of people and imagine their lives, there is a suprising lack of chatting amongst us folk in the waiting rooms. I guess everybody is very respectful of each other's privacy.

hanni-it is true that stuff like this makes the small stuff insignificant but nobody should feel guilty about sweating the small stuff on occassion. That is totally normal.

closet m-first Bruce Springstein and then Ol' MJ. It is an 80's marathon.

eclectic-I hope I see them again and that they look less scared and more positive about things.

mrtl-hey, that one is pretty good. And so true.

squirl-that is too funny. WV can be very wise.

dima-thanks for the hug and you are right. I should be more sensitive for the gummy cheerleaders out there.

divine calm-too true. Thanks for the hug.

bucky-my cast and crew are the best.

closeet m-I prefer tastey trannies...

spoonleggie-aawww. Love from Oscie and you. Thanks!

sassy f-aaaahh. More hugs. Fabulous.

amanda b-can I be your first wand victim?

easty-the days are long and rainy and cold. I normallly get winter blues a little anyway. I have been doing this cancer gig since Feb so it is a long haul. Getting dull. Honestly, I am surprised that I haven't been more down. I'll be ok. But to have a visit....