Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

As I Begin My Transformation Into Super Hero...

With all the recent Halloween hijinks I haven’t really told you about what my radiation therapy is like. Totally not a big deal. I immediately got over my nervousness, as, clearly, this is the easy part of the whole cancer triathlon. The three stages being chemo, radiation and surgery.

I have to go Monday to Friday for about 5 weeks and the whole thing takes about 20 minutes tops with most of that time being spent on machine adjustments. It is seriously like having x-rays taken. Sure the nuking is about 5-20 seconds long but I don’t even have to hold my breath. I get fried for around a minute in total. At this time I do not glow in the dark but as soon as I do I will post pics. I have to wear this funny little gown with an elasticised neck so that I can pull it down over my shoulders to my waist once I get to the radiation room. It is really goofy looking. Like a short muumuu. And I have to sit in the waiting room with total strangers wearing The Muumuu. I only wish everybody was wearing The Muumuu but it is only us folks who are having our chests zapped. The Muumuu can be a very lonely garment.

The challenge so far has to stay perfectly still after they position me on the machine. Inevitably I will get a mother of an itch that cannot be scratched. I am learning to transcend the itch. To find pleasure, not pain, in the itch. Learn from the itch. Become one with the itch. Love The Itch.

25 comments:

Ern said...

I think you should start a muumuu club. And take pictures for us.

kdlang said...

i like muumuus. i'm a lesbian.

Precisiongirl said...

This month's best expression...

"I am learning to transcend the itch."

x

ScottyGee said...

I have an itch too. An itch to see the Muumuu!

Once you start glowing you will be a total hit at rave parties.

LadyBug said...

Is the itch accompanied by a burning sensation? They have cream for that, you know. ;)

P.S. I showed Deputy Dad the pictures of Costumed Yoshi last night, and he laughed out loud. Hee.

Dima said...

Do you use the same muumuu everytime? Draw pictures on it. Put your favorite Yoshi photo on it. And write on it "you may not know, but I have an itch right now!"

hemlock said...

Given your previous employment... could you not design a prettier Muumuu with fabric scraps and a gluegun.

I'm totally sure you could pull of some beautious creations.

By the way, does The Muumuu have armholes or do you walk around like the armless wonder?

eclectic said...

"Become one with the itch." Why do I drink coffee when reading blogs?? Why?????!!!!!!

mrtl said...

Transcend the itch, sister. Maybe you need a better lotion.

I want a t-shirt with a picture of Madonna Yoshi on it. Would you send me the full-sized file? I'll PhotoShop it and then hit up Scotty or Shaun to make a shirt for me/us.

Closet Metro said...

"To find pleasure, not pain, in the itch. Learn from the itch. Become one with the itch. Love The Itch."

This made me feel dirty in a very good way.

happyandblue2 said...

Does your muumuu come with a parrot like the one in the picture. And do you get to wear a fancy hat..

stampydurst said...

When my mom was getting her radiation therapy at Duke University, she stayed in the adult version of the Ronald McDonald House during the week (the fam lives over an hour a way and her office had a satellite in Raleigh). The rads club would all get together and knit/crochet these all cotton, very soft washcloths that were gentle on irradiated skin. To this day, we all have a stash and refer to them as the "cancer rags". This makes houseguests a bit uncomfortable. Any arts and crafts in muumuu land (besides kitty costumes, of course).

whfropera said...

you know, the itch could become your superpower...I may have to render a costume, vK!!!

kalki said...

Funny, just yesterday I tried to transcend an itch, just to see if I could. I totally couldn't. I suck at transcending.

Thanks for sharing this with us and for making me smile today.

spoonleg said...

cancer rags? that's just... awesome.

Susie said...

Make a muumuu out of white fabric with big black spots. Then it will be a moomoo. MOOOOOOOO MOOOOOOOO

(Got milk?)

JessicaRabbit said...

Whfopera was thinking the same thing I am.

If your laying there with all those beams hitting you and you are one with the itch, will you become The Itch? Able to infect at will, because if so, I have an annoying xhusband that could really use a good case of ass crack itch, if you could just shoot some itch beams out of your eyes, that would really help me out.

Von Krankipantzen said...

ern-like The Muumuu Ladies Who Lunch? That would be a riot. There was actually another muumuu lady in the waiting room today. We shared a knowing smile.

kdlang-I wear muumuus and I am a breeder.

precisiongirl-I could become The Itch Swami.

scottygee-that's me! The one wildly dancing in the muumuu!

ladybug-actually the radiation techs have offered to scratch my itch for me. Sick huh?

dima-I actually do use the same muumuu every time. It is dark blue so I guess I could applique stuff on it. Cool! Or a tasteful broach...

leafgirl77-there are sleeves and even pockets so we don't walk around looking like bowling pins.

eclectic-I do that all the time too. Snort tea first thing in the morning. So glad to be sharing the joy out there.

mrtl-I will send you the photo asap. That would be GREAT to do a t-shirt like that.

closet m-I can always count on you to 'go there'. Excellent!

happyandblue2-the cancer clinic muumuus definitely need a special something...but not a parrot. Anything but that. And no hats although I get a special colour coded hanger...

stampydurst-what a good idea. Something to clean up all the cancer... Hope your mom is doing well.

whfropera-The Itch? It is so weird it just might work. Wasn't there a movie about weird super heroes?

kalki-I am still in the learning process. Right now my whole body moves trying to transcend the itch. So I twitch and I itch..

Spoonie-I kinda want one now...

susie-or I could make a brown one and call it a poopoo!

jessica r-I promise I will use my super powers only for good and giving your ex a case of ass itch will be priority #1.

Hänni said...

I have an itch right now... but i'm not going to tell you where.

Amanda B. said...

Yes- I think MuuMuu pictures are in order.

P.S. You are brave and are my hero.

Twisteduterus said...

if you are tranforming into anything it would have to be a super duper hero with new atomic hoots....


as you are already a super hero

just my opinion


dag

Squirl said...

I know I left a comment here. What happened??

You are a super hero hon!

kdlang said...

Please define breeder.

eclectic said...

I think you should iron-on a transfer applique of Madonna Yoshi on the muu-muu. Just think what the rad-techs would do!! They wouldn't be able to stop laughing, so they couldn't hold still any better than you. Karma.

Closet Metro said...

"I can always count on you to 'go there'"

Words like that could make me do it again. ;)