Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Are We All REALLY So Different?

My mom got this in an email yesterday. I thought I'd pass it along you you too can know what it is to live in Vancouver. Let me know if you need clarification on anything. My SPD contribution is on the way. I have to get dressed and washed and brushed first. Apparently cancer makes you lazy.

You're from Vancouver if...

1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $250,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You know what these acronyms mean: PNE, VAG, VPL, GVRD, YVR.

4. You're shocked when it snows in the winter.

5. You've had a California Roll for lunch.

6. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.

7. You know how to pronounce Coquihalla.

8. A really great parking space can move you to tears.

9. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into BDSM, and your next-door neighbour grows weed.

10. The guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sun glasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.

11. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

12. The gym is packed at 3 PM... on a work day.

13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.

14. You watch the weather from a Seattle TV station because it's more accurate.

15. You pass an elementary school and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers while waiting for their personal rides home.

16. You don't even listen when the forecast announces "chance of showers."

17. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Second Cup, and Tim Horton's coffees.

18. You feel guilty throwing aluminium cans or paper in the trash.

19. You're not surprised to see geese throughout the whole year.

20. You can’t remember... is pot still illegal?

21. If there's a day of snowfall you consider not going to school or work.

22. You realize there are far more Rainbow flags in the city than Canadian flags.

23. When you take the bus you can distinguish 4 different languages being spoken in the conversations around you.

24. You secretly have a fear of pig farms.

25. You go the opera and half the audience is dressed to the nine's and the other half are in jeans and t-shirts.

26. You know how to set up your own Crystal Meth lab because you saw it on the news.

27. You go a friend's house party and Bif Naked shows up because they went to high school together.

28. You can name 10 Starbucks locations in less than a minute.


Candace said...

I'm packing my bags. Vancouver sounds (and undoubtedly IS) way better than Cincinnati.

dawn said...

ok,i totally suck at acronyms, so please help me out here. thanx

Squirl said...

Never been to Vancouver but it sounds like fun to visit. Stuff sounds too expensive to actually live there.

Von Krankipantzen said...

misfit-I have not been to Cincinnati so I can't confirm that either way. It was voted the 3rd best city to live in in the world behind 2 Swiss cities. Come on over for a visit.

dawn-PNE=Pacific National Exhibition-a big yearly fair we have. VAG=Vancouver Art Gallery-has some nice Emily Carr paintings. VPL=Vancouver Public Library-the main one looks like a modern roman coliseum. Weird. GVRD=Greater Vancouver Regional Distric-the way they have divided up areas around town. YVR=the call letters of Vancouver International Airport. Boring, huh?

Squirl-it is expensive to live here but min. wage is over $8 an hour. Nice to visit though. With the dollar excahnge it is nice for you guys.

part-time fox said...

That was really funny! Hooray for Vancouver!

dawn said...

cool thanx for the info,I should have known the PNE one though. We have the CNE here in Toronto for 2 weeks in the summer. I'm itching to go skiing in BC. The last time I was there I was maybe 5 so don't remember anymore then what I see in photos. Sounds like a very cool place to live though.

Candace said...

You're not missing anything, Krankster. Really. Except for me, this city's got NUTHIN' good.

whfropera said...

i can second that - I lived there (Cinti) for 3 years, and call is Cinci-nasty to this day.
But I am sure misfit rocks the Ohio River valley.

Heathen said...

I've seen the same thing for Los Angeles, however every third one was...

.... I can't remember is pot illegal?

And to tell the truth I'm just not sure anymore either!

Daphne said...

I like how it's like Seattle and so not-Seattle at once.

Hi! Just followed some comment links over here. I like your spirit and wish you well in your fight against cancer.


greatwhitebear said...

somebody adopt me....I got to get to Vancouver. And yes, I CAN tell the difference between Starbucks, Second Cup and Hortons. I prefer Hortons. However, if you throw Cariboo Coffee in the mix, it's a whole 'nother ballgame!