Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Monday, June 20, 2005

Mind Games

When I was 6 years old I used to cope with my school life by pretending I was Wonder Woman. It really helped with the day-to-day pressures of first grade. I was a small kid who was unnaturally attached to my mother and I took a stuffed animal with me to school everyday. I used to get very anxious in class with all the other kids who were much bigger and way more self-assured than I was. Though I may have been meek I was also very responsible. So much so that my teacher would often put me at the head of the line of the all the girls as we filed down to the little ladies’ room for our twice-daily pee break. I felt so in charge and powerful when I would stand in front of all those big girls with my hands on my hips and my feet shoulder width apart, firmly planted on the tile floor. Somehow the taunts and bitchy remarks aimed at my stuffed penguin and me would bounce off my mental bulletproof bracelets. I was invincible. Wonder Woman had brown hair in a world of blondes. Steve Trevor wouldn’t look twice at Diana Prince but once she twirled on that outfit she was the shit. I loved that. I would say to myself that those girls didn’t know that under my Holly Hobby sweaters and Jordache Jeans I was really hot stuff. I was fine with being the mousy girl like Diana knowing that I had special powers that I INTENTIONALLY kept secret from the rest of the world. As Wonder Woman I would keep those girls in line and deliver my charges safe and sound in time for story hour.

8 comments:

Susie said...

Oh, you've been holding out on us. You're Wonder Woman! Whose ass can't you kick?

Anonymous said...

That's so odd because mousy would never, never, ever, have been a desciptor which applied to you. I never saw you being anything but beautiful (okay, cute, so adorably cute, when you were little) and talented and clever. Things have not changed. I think you kept the secret of your true identitiy and your awesome cosmic powers from yourself. Secret's out!

c said...

What a sweet story.

"WONDER WOMAN!! Da da da da da da da!"

the niffer said...

Woman, you are H O T in those duds.

Squirl said...

See, I knew when I commented on the last post that you already were Wonder Woman. What a way to handle those little kid jitters.

Kranki said...

susie-I try to avoid kicking ass as much as possible but it is always reassuring to know I can access my inner Wonder Woman if needed.

Lbo-you are so sweet to say that. But I just remember being teased for my security stuffed penquin and being afraid of all the other kids who were so much bigger than me. I was one meek kid. I wonder what happened as I am not very meek now. That inner Wonder Woman again. She gets stronger as I get older.

misfit-That theme song was a great way for me to deal with the big kids. Everybody should have their own inner theme song to get through tough times. I have the whole first season of Wonder Woman on DVD. It still kicks ass.

the Niffer-thanks. That is on my To-Do list. make one rockin' Wonder Woman costume for doing housework in as well as kicking butt.
Squirl-thanks again! That Wonder Woman stance got me through a lot of anxious times. I was one small kid. I grew tall though.

LadyBug said...

Confession time: I had Wonder Woman Underoos (TM) when I was about that age. (Similar to these: http://tinyurl.com/b6u4d but made for little girls.)

Wonder Woman ROCKS.

Candy said...

Oh my god, I used to pretend I was wonder woman too, I swear! I would spin around and make the sound effect noises, oh man. There are still places that sell wonder woman underoos for adults you know..