Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Monday, August 01, 2005


Ah ha! Feeling almost human again. If not eating a lot at least thinking about it. Spicy things are my main craving right now. Channa massala or pad thai. Won’t be trying that any time soon but maybe next week. It is nice to dream.

Tonight I am looking forward to Rockstar:INXS. I am really enjoying it and am quite the armchair rockstar myself every show. I am surprised at one or two people who have been asked to leave as well as amazed at some who have been asked to stay. That is what is so good about the show so far. That and Dave Navarro. Yummy.

When I was nineteen I worked at a Canadian clothing store that has a very innocuous name in North America but turns out to be a very rude word in Australia. We sold these leather letterman jackets with the company name blazoned across the back. Our boss had given us permission to give away a jacket to any rock star that would provide free tickets for all the staff in the store. This was really cool deal and while I never reaped any of the benefits at my short time working there I had heard some great stories.

One night I was working late and the mall was deserted. A guy walked in who looked vaguely familiar to me. He was looking around and I greeted him. He wouldn’t even look at me and didn’t answer. I was wracking my brain. Who was this guy? Why did he seem so familiar? Then it hit me. He was the keyboardist from INXS. You know, the short ugly one. But I wasn’t 100% sure. I conferred with my co-worker in the back and I was elected to be the one to approach him with a free jacket in exchange for tickets to that night’s concert.

So I did what any person would do. I calmly walked up to him and said, “Hi! Are you from INXS?” and do you know what happened. He ran. He literally ran out of the store. Full sprint down the mall into the hotel. I was so surprised I just burst out laughing. So did my co-worker. Dumb ass. If he had just stuck around he would have got himself a free leather jacket with a very rude word on the back.


L.Bo said...

Hey Kranki! Glad to see you're back and feeling mostly human. I have a killer recipe for channa masala should you feel the need. Very easy but oh so tasty.

I laughed at your INXS story. What an ass indeed. Oh well, perhaps if I always had people approaching me wanting to give me free leather jackets I might run too. After all how many can you really use? But I would especially like to have one with a rude word.

Love and hugs from the crew.

greatwhitebear said...

Great story! Glad your feeling almost human! Hopefully completely human tommorrow!

LadyBug said...

Dying to know...

What was the rude word?

Also...I MISSED it! Rockstar: INXS is the ONE show I've been trying to watch this summer, and I've caught MAYBE 2 1/2 episodes, total. I've yet to see one all the way through. I thought it came on CBS. So I changed my IN-LAWS' TV to CBS at 7:00. No Rockstar. 7:30 - Nope. 8:00 - Nuh-uh. Then it was home, bathe Big the time I turned on the TV it was after 9:00, and it STILL wasn't on! What the heck?


I'm glad you're back, Kranki. I've missed you! Hope you're feeling up to eating that spicy food next week, hon.

Ern said...

Yea for feeling human!

And what do people in the public eye expect? It's fan attention that makes them money. And gets them free stuff!

mrtl said...

That's so funny!

I realized last night that I missed an episode (where they booted the two chicks). Wah!!

When you eat the spicy stuff, eat some for me, too. I love it, but am afraid, thinking it'll make me sick. :P

Von Krankipantzen said...

lbo-I'll take you up on that recipe. Love the massala.

greatwhitebear-I am feeling really good today. I believe I am entirely human now.

ladybug-the store was ROOTS. That means FUCK to Auzzies. Weird huh? The schedule for INXS's show is weird here. I never am sure when it is on.

ern- I simply couldn't belive it when he bolted. You would have thought I had thrown my panties at him or something. Or maybe it is becuase I didn't.

mrtl-I'll eat some spicey food for you for sure. I think I need another day or 2 but I'll do it.

Squirl said...

Roots? I wonder what they thought of the 1970's mini-series Roots then?

So glad to see you blogging again!

Anonymous said...

that Roots mini series comment was so funny! sending prayers that your boobies are on the mend.

Roots to that mother-rootin' cancer! Let's get it the roots out of your life so we can concentrate on celebrity gossip.

east village idiot said...

oops -that was my comment up there!

LadyBug said...

It's on right now!

Yeah, that schedule is ROOTED-UP! *snork*

I checked it out online today, and it's, like 8:30 (Central time) on Monday, 9:00 on Tuesday, and 8:00 or 8:30 on Wednesday. Who can keep up with THAT??

Von Krankipantzen said...

squirl-there may have been brain implosions over that. Seriously.

east village-Rooty toot toot! Cancer roots! And I have plenty celebrity gossip.

ladyBug-the schedule is so SCREWED UP! It is all over the place. Grrrr. Mother-rooter!

Closet Metro said...

excited to watch tonight and see if my choices for who should be eliminated match the rest of the world.

Von Krankipantzen said...

closet metro-I am really enjoying the show. Looking forward to tonight too.

fueltank said...

Weren't INXS from Australia? Or al I totally off in left field?

Maybe he was really embarasssed that the store ROOTS didn't turn out to be what he hoped it would be...

Yeah, mate and you can get it right in the shopping arcade! They sell it at a store!

Von Krankipantzen said...

fuel-I never thought of that. You may be right-he might have been trolling for something seedy.