Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Sadness

It is a very sad day today in Blogville. Many of you already know through Susie’s or Sarah’s Wacky Loving Family’s site that SarahKaplan died yesterday. I am very sad. She reached out to me through my comment section with lots of positive encouragement and candy suggestions. When a lovely lady who just a couple weeks ago was boosting my moral in my fight with cancer looses her own battle, life seems that much more precious and fragile and strange. And unfair.

She was very positive about the future and it wasn’t enough. And sometimes it isn’t. There are so many things that have to fall into place to guarantee a win over this disease. And that isn’t fair either.

What comes to mind most is a recent email a parent of a friend sent to me who extolled the benefits of positive thinking in fighting cancer. She very mistakenly assumed that my homebody-ness was equal to negative thinking. She feels I should be doing Cancer Walk functions and attending loads of support groups. Obviously this works for her. I find such peace and happiness at home with a good book or with visits from my parents. What she suggests sounds foreign and stressful for me. My positive attitude manifests in a different way. Each person who faces cancer or any other life threatening illness just has to do their best. Some days are not a pretty as others. Some days you can barely get out of bed. There is no right way ‘do’ this thing

Sarah confronted her illness with light and humour and strength and love. Her relationships with her sisters and her partner were inspirational. I never met her and I only knew her through her blog and her comments but I won’t ever forget her, as she has become a part of my own fight. As have all of you who visit and comment on my site everyday.

22 comments:

mrtl said...

Everyone fights her own way. It's probably better that you stay at home, given that you'd probably flick a booger at someone who crosses you. (Ew, by the way.)

Sarah was an inspiration, as is her family, as are you. I feel lucky to have crossed paths with all of you.

JessicaRabbit said...

Your right, we all have to find strength and peace and happiness in our own way, I hope that we do help to keep your spirits lifted and that you know we all care very much.

This is a very sad day for many people, I hope for peace and strength for everyone.

whfropera said...

all of the above and a bag of chips. (now I sound like Bucky) but everyone in their own way - isn't that why we are all individuals?

kalki said...

I have several family members who have had cancer (breast, colon, prostate, brain) and none of them died from it. (Thank god for that.) In your case, Stacey, I consider your cancer an absolute pain in the ass and a very scary experience, but not a serious threat to your life.

So while I didn't know Sarah, yesterday's news was still a bit of a shock to me. I guess I've come to see cancer as something that can be overcome (however naive or even insensitive that perspective may be), and so to see someone lose her fight to it shook me up a bit.

Fight strong and fight hard. You're a survivor, Stacey.

Susie said...

Kranki, I was so happy to meet Sarah, and I immediately wanted to introduce the two of you. The first post I read about her was her painted head, and of course I thought of your baldness concerns. Of course, my hope and my belief were that you would see her success, and it would be an inspiration to you. I still hope that. She didn't live long enough, but anyone reading her blog can see that she lived well. She lived. She did it very well, better than most, I would say. The truth is, none of us know how long we have. Some people who are perfectly healthy today will leave us long before those who are fighting a terrible illness. But every one of us can take something from Sarah's example. Live the time we have, well. The most and best we can. Only you are the authority on how to do that for you. God gave your time to you, to spend and invest as you see fit; that's no one else's call. I applaud and support your doing your life your way.

LadyBug said...

God bless you, Kranki.

Love and hugs...

Squirl said...

Everyone else has said it so well. While some don't beat cancer, I just know that you will. Sarah did teach us all a great lesson with her humor. That's the worst thing in the world that anyone can lose.

eastvillageidiot said...

I'm super sorry to learn of Sarah's passing. I went to her blog once via your blog. She was surrounded by people who loved her without limit.

Tibetan Buddism says that prayers and loving meditation help the newly liberated soul move to its next life with increased peace and joy. Let's all remember her today and help her along the way.

Von Krankipantzen said...

mrtl-I was wondering when somebody would notice the new masthead. I feel really lucky to have met you too. This blogging thing is really cool.

jessicarabbit-I am always so chuffed that you come visit my site. My spirtis are constantly lifted through my blog.

whfropera-you are so right. Everybody has to do their own thing.

kalki-the stories of your family are inspirational. They all kick ass! I too think this cancer of mine is just another blip in the radar.

susie-you are so right. You just never know what life has in store and the beauty of life is that you can do what you want with it. I am really glad I got to know Sarah an little and see how she lived her life.

ladybug-thanks so much. Love and hugs back!

squirl-a good sense of humour can get you through so much.

eastvillageidiot-what a lovely thought. I am doing my best to wish her on her way.

Candace said...

Can't say it better than anyone, 'specially Susie.

We're here for you, Stacey.

Von Krankipantzen said...

Thank you Misfit- I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

Vanessa said...

So sorry to read that Sarah died. You are right to continue to live your life, and fight your cancer, in the manner that suits you. Remember that you have a huge fan base here supporting you.

Von Krankipantzen said...

Vanessa-wow! Thanks so much. That means a lot to me.

L.Bo said...

Sarah and her family have given such a rare gift to this sector of blogworld. Very thought provoking and inspiring. Even on short acquaintance, Sarah will be sorely missed.

I am positive your internal guru tells you the most appropriate thing to do to look after yourself. And who knows better than you? Well okay, I think *I* might have known better about the FEVER thing, but other than that, you are the expert. I can also understand people wanting to share what worked for them, but damn, the enthusiasm gets a bit hard to handle, especially when they are not respecting different choices.

Apropo of nothing, I saw a cute T-shirt today which read, "I have amazing superhero powers. I just lack motivation." Yeah, me too. Big hugs, woof, purr.

Oh yeah, sorry for being tardy!

fueltank said...

Hello my friend;

I have to tell you that I have had two emails from my ex-wife telling me just how much she enjoys your blog. You are spreading the love and peace far and wide.

Sarah did the same, and that will always be.

If each of us can touch one life, change one person we have done something important. Believe me you have touched more than one life, changed more than one person.

For those of you who have paid atrtention, Kranki and I went to jewellery school together. I don't know how we ended up hanging, but we did. It wasn't always the easiest thing for me (not the hanging part) and right from the start I struggled with many of the processes. I was a much better designer than I was an artisan.

Remember how long it took me to cast a simple silver ingot? I had the theory down, could tell you exactly what was happening, how to do it, everything.

But I could not actually do it. It was frustrating, and it was humiliating. This woman Kranki stood behind me and kept me in the game. There was one particularly bad day when I simply put everything down and left. I walked out and was probably not coming back. She caught up with me a couple blocks away and gave me a good talking to.

It scares me to think that was 11 years ago... she has been amazing from the day I met her, and continues to be. She is one of the best friends you could have, and I am fortunate to have her as my friend.

But you all know that. I just had to let her know.

After that day I ended up on anti-depressants. I can't believe that was 11 years ago. Cheers to friends and drugs.

Susie said...

Oh, fueltank. What a lovely story about our girl, here. Yes we knew she's like that, but it is nice to hear these things. Here's to friendship.

JP said...

What works for one person does not work for another. It's the same with cancer. No two people have the exact same cancer, so why would you expect everyone to deal with it the same way? What's important is that you deal with it in the way that works for you and no one, no matter how close to you, can tell you what that is except for YOU! Being an advocate is great for some if they have that fire within them to do that, but others do not want cancer to define who they are and what they are about. We are all wired differently and you have to take your joy and sieze the day in what you know works for you. Hang in there and climb that mountain in your own way. Because in the end, it doesn't matter how you get over it, just that you can look back and see it behind you...

Squirl said...

Just stopped in to say hi to you. I also just had a piece of candy and thought of Sarah.

spoonleg said...

I'm so sorry to hear the sad news, although I think no one would dare say she didn't live her life positively and to its fullest, the way she wanted. I wish the same for you, kranki, that you deal with your illness in the way that suits you best. There are many different ways to live your life in a positive and meaningful fashion, and I'm glad to know you've found what works for you. There will always be good days and bad days, regardless of what trials or tribulations you're facing. What's important is that you keep your perspective and keep fighting your fight the best way you know how.

You are so strong, brave and admirable! We love and support you so very much.

abcd said...

Thank you for the beautiful message you left on our blog.
Please tell your cousin we said the same.

We will check in on you, and cheer you on every step of the way.

Please let us know if we can help you anyway.

Nikki and "the sisters"

We love your picture!

Von Krankipantzen said...

lbo-I love that phrase, 'my inner guru'. My inner guru wants sushi today.

Fuel-I am thankful you are my friend too. Even if you hate my cat. How quickly you forget that I had problems during jewellery school as well and you helped me through those too. That is what friends are for.

susie- I'll join in on that toast. Here's to friendship.

JP-how great of you to stop by! That is a good point and you are so right. No two people's cancer are the same so how could it be handled personally the same way? I hadn't thought of it like that and it makes a lot of sense to me.

Squirl-Hi there! I ate chocolate today too. And thought of Sarah.

spoonie-you are so wise! There are always going to be good days and bad days even after this cancer is long gone. Everybody has to fine their comfort zone. Mine is with the cat and a good book.

SWLF-Nikki and The Sisters! So good to see you in these parts. I hope you are all spending time together and doing things that are good for the body and for the soul. I often check on your blog to see how you are doing. I will continue to do so.

L.Bo said...

Then sushi your inner guru should have. Feed the guru...feed the guru...