Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Saturday, March 12, 2005

This is about ANTM. Be alert to spoilage.

America’s Next Top Model!

Despite the fact I was feelin’ like hell I still managed to watch my fave show on Wednesday night. Since then I have learned it repeats on Friday so if I ever undergo surgery again on a Tuesday I don’t have to prop my queasy ass up to watch the next day. Good to know.

Right away I was particularly annoyed by the alarming amount of squealing following any sort of appearance or announcement. It gets worse every season. I can’t wait for the bikini wax lady to show up. Then they’ll have something to really scream about.

Never being a squeaky girl myself I have absolutely no idea why women do this. Screech goodbye to your dignity and credibility. Squeak hello to idiot status!

My Smut-O-Meter immediately perked up at the end of the show when they alluded to some sort of terrible medical emergency on next week’s episode. I have wondered how they manage to get a serious medical condition present on every season: Lupus, blindness, and eating disorders. Do they actively seek them out or is it just the luck of the draw when you gather a random (but gorgeous) selection of people together? Does one out of every 14 people have a medical issue? Hmmmmmm…or is it a question on the application form? What do you all think?

But we all know how the drama is overblown to get you hooked. Next week’s emergency may turn out to be a broken nail. Call 911!

I must admit that I was initially surprised that Brita was eliminated over Brandy because I personally think Brita is “Hot” and Brandy is “Trouble”. But that is just me. Once I thought about it and my past impression that a certain amount of insanity is not only tolerated but also encouraged the Brandy/Brita choice made sense. Sadly, Miss “M’man Ain’t Gonna Want Me No Mo!” makes for better ratings. I personally would have been thrilled silly with the nice young lady and her almost normal body weight. Once again, that is just me.

And what about all those really bad tattoos? It has been my experience that it is best to save up some cash for a really nice piece of work when you are having something PERMANENTLY carved into your body. Ahem! That’s just me.

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