Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Pondering The Mysteries

I have been thinking a lot about Kylie Minogue over the last couple of days and her recent breast cancer diagnosis. We are the same age. I can’t say that I am a huge fan of her music but I have to admit she is one sexy chick. Two weeks ago my dear friend, Mr. P, saw her in concert while he was visiting London. According to P it was “Faggot Wonderland” and he had the best time EVER. As you all know I was at home getting chemo for my own breast cancer and was not able to partake in the festivities.

Whether you live a very ordinary life like myself or an extraordinary life like Kylie Minogue cancer never comes at the right time. Interestingly I have since learned that cancer often comes at the worst time.

At my very first oncology doctor’s appointment one amongst the millions of medical questions my doc asked me was how my life was recently. I told her that things had been going especially great lately. I mentioned that I was in the process of opening my own business that very easily could have meant a fair amount of financial freedom after having to “borrow” toilet paper from my folks on more than one occasion over the years. I said that I found it all too coincidental and I was very bitter about it. She smiled at me and told me the reason she asks that question is because more often than not she has found that newly diagnosed cancer patients are at the best parts of their life. That more often that not her patients tell her that things have very recently improved in some way like new babies or marriages. Sometimes a new job or a new house. Even retirement and an impending world trip. I didn’t really know what to say to that, as I couldn’t even grasp a reason why that might happen. It doesn’t make sense to me.

I can’t say I have ever felt like a rock star but I can certainly say I am now going through some of what Miss Minogue will be going through all too soon. I can’t imagine doing this in the spotlight. I wouldn’t mind having Olivier Martinez holding my hand through the tough parts either but it can’t be easy to be part of a scene that is so body conscious while dealing with breast cancer. For me there is no 3rd party before and after. I don’t have a boyfriend or husband who knew me as I was before and will have to get used to the changes after everything is done. Part of me is relieved but part of me is sad about that too. I will only have my subjective memories. And I am not just talking about the physical changes but the mental and emotional ones as well. She has images of her body splashed everywhere. She has copies of interviews and articles about each and every step of her career. The comparisons are going to be enormous for her. It is and will be a strange time for her as it is for everybody whose life drastically changes from one day to the next. She was on the top of her game.

I just feel really sad for her.

10 comments:

fueltank said...

Nicely said.

Loudon Wainwright III School Days

Candace said...

Beautiful post, Stacey.

L.Bo said...

I have a theory, and I might be full of crap, but I wonder if it hits when things are good because when things are awful and we are in crisis we aren't paying any attention to our bodies.

Or perhaps it is a result of the stress of the bad times, which just took a while to manifest. Like I said, full of crap today.

I hope Miss Minogue has a pussycat to snuggle.

whfropera said...

you know, you are an amazing person - I don't know if I could honestly stop navel-gazing enough to be able to objectively look at how much something that sucks as MONUMENTALLY AS THE BIG C DOES for a "regular Joe" kinda person and how it would be that much worse for someone famous. until I read your post it didnt occur to me that she would have to deal with this shit under a hrash, harsh spotlight. at least regular folks can have some semblance of privacy, which i have to assume you want sometimes. shit. you impress the hell out of me woman. but i'm totally bummed that you don't have a sweet guy to help you through the rough spots - you totally deserve one. what is wrong with guys today anyway? they seem to all be about lack of commitment.

Susie said...

kranki, I had the pleasure of having dinner with mrtl tonight. We talked about how while we all understand that we don't really "know" the bloggers we meet, we really do get a sense of who someone is, through what they choose to present on their blog. You have such a fine and pure spirit, essence . . . words fail me, and so does my eyesight, through contact lenses and tears. That was such an elegant post. I am so honored to be your blogfriend. I hug you now.

Anonymous said...

Stacey! I just, afterall this time figured out how to post on your blog! Yay! Hugs and Kisses to you and Yoshi! Speaking of Yoshi, I was thinking about your hair and thought maybe because Yoshi is so loyal and dedicated to you that she really might not mind parting with her hair too! It might make you fell better when you realize how rediculous and skinny she looks but I know you of all people could come up with some way to apply it to your head. Although it is quite white. You would probably want to dye it first.

Just throwing it out there...

Love Christy

mrtl said...

and she didn't even try to feel me up under the table.

Kranki - as sweet as this is for you to be so considerate of someone else and telling of your beautiful nature, it's bullshit. You gave yourself such a hard time over your own self-pity; why inflict it on someone else? Pity ain't for cancer-ass-kickin' women like yourself. And Kylie? She's a train, you know! chugachugachoochoo!

Susie said...

mrtl, what are you saying? Then who WAS that under the table? . . .

Anonymous said...

Breast cancer is the great equalizer. I picture your lives as separate plains that converge at the cancer point and run concurrent for a while. None of us have any forewarning of when our lives are going to hit that plain.

I'm glad chemo hasn't been as horrible for you this time around. Hey, somebody far, far away in South Texas (me!) is thinking about you. ~Laura (laura-flea @ diaryland)

Dang Cold.. said...

Stacey baby. I feel for Kylie Minogue as I feel for you and yes I do find her sexy as heck. One thing that you and Kylie do have in common, among other things, is that you both have lots of anonymous, faceless fans rooting for you and thinking about you lots. This won't be easy for her but this will all be history for her in the future as it will be for you.

Much Love and happy long weekend.

dc