Vigilante Justice

I fear I may have got you hopes up too high about my sweet revenge. I did not put a laxative in her tea although I thought about it. I did not cut up her laundry that I had to wash and dry and fold for her every week although I thought about it. I did not infect her laptop with a virus although I thought about it. I will tell you what I did and you may not understand how this was vengeful to me.

1. I was consistently polite, on time and committed at my job. I always had a smile on my face. This showed her and my co-workers that I was a professional even though it was my first big league gig. It also emphasised how petty she was.

2. I stayed calm, cool and collected when inside I was scared, angry and stressed while she freaked out over every little thing.

3. I arranged for a parting gift for her that I knew she wanted and would love, knowing that EVERY TIME she used the gift she would know deep down in her black shrivelled heart that I was the only one who knew to get it for her and was responsible for its purchase.

4. I packed up and shipped out her personal belongings (Designers get their belongings shipped via courier free of charge so they don’t have to deal with 4-6 months worth of luggage on the plane. Nice perk, huh?), carefully wrapping everything in tissue and making sure it was packed beautifully knowing that when she received her personal items she would see my name on the manifest as the person who TOUCHED ALL OF HER STUFF!!!

5. I wrote a really nice blurb in her farewell card about how it was such a pleasure to work with her.

I can be pretty subtle.

Basically I was the bigger person and took the high road at all times so I would know deep down that not one single bad thing she had to say about me had any truth to it whatsoever.

I also know something about her that she doesn’t know that makes me smile every time I think about it.

She told me this story when I was still in the good books about how she received a lovely very expensive watch (a brand I covet myself) as a gift from a producer/director/big wig for a film she worked on. A few months later she asked a worker bee to take the watch to the jeweller as the battery had died. She said that worker bee came back and told her that once the jeweller got the back off the watch it was found to be a very good imitation. She said she laughed and bought a real one to replace it as she loved the style so much.

At the time I complimented her on her watch as it was another brand of pricey jewellery that I also covet. She said that her husband, now deceased, had given her that watch as a gift. It meant a great deal to her. Not more than a week later she gave me this watch to take to the jeweller as its battery had died. It was one of those situations where I put it in my purse and checked on it a million times as I was so afraid it might magically jump out and loose itself. I went to a very fancy jewellery store as I knew they would treat the watch right and could be trusted if I had to leave it. The repair clerk whistled in appreciation when he saw the watch and when I explained that it wasn’t mine he asked me if I knew how much it was worth. Believe me, I knew. He went to put a battery in it while I waited. Then he came out with a smirk on his face. You guessed it – FAKE WATCH!!!!!!

I never told her. I told everybody in the costume department though.