Another day, another hospital procedure. I had to get a porta-cath installed this morning. This little gizmo allows the mean nursey people to take blood and fill me up with poison without wrecking my veins. What I didn’t’ really understand was this porta-cath is actually a large lumpy thing, about the size of a large coat button, that is EMBEDDED UNDER MY SKIN ON MY CHEST. Just before sunny camisole weather no less. I am sad. I am also almost The Bionic Woman. But my veins will thank me.
They lay you down on a gurney, pump you full of happy potion (I totally opted for this bit) and inject your neck and chest with local anaesthetic. Then the cut ya open, cauterize any little bleeders, jam this lumpy thing under your chest skin and insert a big tube into a large vein. You get stitched up and sent on your way. Can I just say that smelling your own flesh burn is not something I would recommend? Even on an empty stomach.
The whole thing took about 30 minutes and I was walking out about 15 minutes after that. I am pretty sore now and my head is being pulled to the right at the muscles contract with discomfort and the bandages pull and bind. Need me some more painkillers, I think.
Several people have assured me that this is a good thing to get and I will not regret it. The jury is still out and I will let you know. In the meantime I eat home made chocolate chip cookies. I got a prescription for them.