Life in the Slow Lane

Life in the Slow Lane

Saturday, May 28, 2005

I Dare Not Speak Its Name

I have hesitated to post about this in the past as I have felt it is really Dooce’s area of expertise and I don’t want to step on any toes. It is kinda embarrassing as well. But this is my life and I said I wouldn’t hide behind niceties. I am talking about CONSTIPATION! Yes, I am one constipated girl. In fact I have decided my long time lack of poopage is maybe why I got cancer in the first place. All those toxins raging from my rear end to my boobs. Just a thought.

What I am experiencing now is a whole new level of blockage not yet felt by my body in my lifetime. The fabulously effective and expensive medication I use for chemo nausea has constipation as a side effect. The power of this cancels out the diahrrea side effect of the chemo. Completely. I would so love the runs right now, as what is coming out of my butt is more akin to rocks. When my caboose is actually producing, that is. I am presently scarfing prunes like I normally inhale chocolate as well as taking fibre laxatives twice a day and all the various other dietary eases I can think of. No joy. I was poopless for SEVEN WHOLE DAYS and then once I saw some action it felt like my poor ass was plundered by poop pirates. I have actually PRAYED over this. I am also afraid of cheese.

Ok. What next? This is adding insult AND injury to an already sucky situation. What can I do to ease my pain? I guess I could go through Dooce’s archives but I would rather start a whole new forum here. Any sure-fire pooping remedies? We are talking nuclear strength here!

6 comments:

c said...

Apricots, definitely. Prunes are OK, but the pureed prunes are better than the dried ones; don't know why. And lots and lots and lots of water. More. Nope, more. Little bit more.

Squirl said...

I"m with Resquicat on the beer. I don't know if you can drink it right now or not. If I haven't had one for a while it usually works like a charm. And I hate the kind of poop that I call pebbles. Just little baby rocks that feel like jagged rocks as they make their way out.

I also eat vegetables with lots of fiber. Good luck!

The Merry Widow said...

Senna. It comes in tea form and in a pill form. It's a natural, herbal laxative. My husband took it while he was on chemo.

Susie said...

I got nothin' that hasn't been suggested. Sometimes dairy does it for me, but not always. Wishing you POOP. (I always say things to you that I've never told anyone else :)

Kranki said...

mrtl-Apricots are so now on th grocery list. Along with figs. And more prunes. Thanks for the tip. I am so happy it was a yummy one.

Requiscat-I haven't had a drink in ages. Alcohol makes me nauseaous. But back in the beer drinking days I don't remember it doing that for me. Maybe it would now. I will ask my oncologist if it is ok to drink a beer or 2. Thanks!

Misfit-I knew that would come up at some point. Water is my Waterloo. I just have a hard time putting that much away. I am lucky if I can get down 6-8 glasses in a day. I will try though. I know it is the best thing. Thanks. Gulp!

Squirl- you are describing what I call goat poops to me. I get that too. I have been told it is a sign of IBS. I know I have that. Once on the advice of a gastro doc I did a herbal colon cleanse kit and had a violent reaction to one of the ingredients. My skin turned greenish grey I was so ill. Probably the burdock root as it is higly toxic. Can blow your blood pressure through the roof. I think I will stick to veggies. In the past a little bag of mini carrots would do the trick. Maybe a big bag now. Thanks for the tips.

Merry W-Senna? Is that a brand name of a type of fibre? I am totally going to get on that. I am scared of a lot of herbal remedies though - see above reply. But fibre would be ok. Thanks for the suggestion.

Susie- I wish dairy would do it for me but it does the opposite. Hence my fear of cheese. I totally appreciate the poop benediction. I love that you go out on a limb for me.

Big Heavy said...

have you tried fish oil pills? they seem to make my rear production silky smooth.